This blog topic is NOT to be confused with the book called "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. I've never read Jim's book... and for me the topic of Good vs. Great has a different meaning.
Most people talk about taking their skill from being Good, to being Great. The desire to elevate themselves from a state of being "good" or "acceptable" - at math or table tennis or water polo - to "great" or "incredible".
As I started this blog and tried to identify what it was in life I really wanted... tried to create a sort of "LIFE VISION" - I determined that this blog would be a sort of journal, or record about my quest to be more than just average - I wanted to be GREAT.
What I have realized is just how important this goal is. My LIFE PURPOSE is NOT to be the greatest hockey player, real estate guru, or sales person (I would actually settle for good at all of these). MY PURPOSE was to become a great PERSON... a great husband, father, son, friend, businessperson, and man.
I have been chasing this goal for some time now, and what I have found is a bit perplexing: If you or I EVER want to be GREAT - really and truly - there are 2 very challenging Truths we must embrace:
1. In order to become GREAT, you must first be GOOD... and there is none Good but One.
2. In order to be the Greatest, you must also be the LEAST.
Can we discuss these 2 truths - seemingly paradoxical in nature for a moment?
First: In order to become GREAT, you must first be GOOD, and there is none good but One.
If I (or any person) am not GOOD first, seeking to do RIGHT, be CLEAN, and add to the lives of others, how could I ever be called GREAT? If my singular mission is to better myself, my wealth, my life, and my goals... than even if I accomplish all of the things I try, haven't I simply TAKEN more than I gave?
The idea that anyone could be GREAT - without first being a GOOD person is actually kind of crazy. Yet in the world we see so many examples of this... athletics, business, etc. Was Michael Jordan GREAT? I would say that Air Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time - but with so much money, fame and fortune, has he accomplished greatness since the highlight reels stopped playing, and the bulbs stopped flashing? (By the way, Michael has been a hero of mine - it is just a question!)
Becoming and staying aware that we - NONE OF US - are as great as we think seems to be an important step. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The ablest man I ever met is the man you think you are". This was a laugh-out-loud quote for me. My wife would witness of this being a theme from my life... I think I can do anything, and too often fall short and am left making excuses for why it was not my fault.
Rather than worrying with who I think I am, being content to do what is right, and recognize that there has only been One who is good is a critical first step. Even Jesus Christ when called "Good Master" said that he was not to be called "Good".
What about the second principal?
The famous story of the Apostles of Jesus Christ. In Luke 9:46-48 "And there arose a reasoning among them, which of them should be the Greatest..." and they were told very plainly, "Whosoever receives me receives him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be GREAT."
This must mean that if I have a true desire to be GREAT, I must also truly - deep in my heart - desire to be the LEAST.
For anyone (myself included) who has ever had aspirations of greatness, reconciling all of this in our hearts is not easy. I have felt a burning desire my whole life to do something great - and have chased my tail for years with such aspirations. Now finding a way for my feelings to co-exist with the truths that there is only One who is Good, and that I must be the Least... is not easy.
Like anything it requires PRACTICE.
I have found one situation in which these truths become easier to understand and embrace. When I spend time with my wife & children, and watch them and their great love for life. I see who they are and all they can become, and I observe my family in our struggle to survive these tough times it is obvious how critical it is that I be the LEAST.
And quietly the answer comes - if I will put them first, and be the least; if I will be Good, and keep going, never tiring from putting them first... someday without ever trying, it will happen... I will be lifted up.
Embracing this requires trust in power beyond our own, and a willingness to let go. It is so challenging to do, and do consistently. I am finding that it is impossible if the motivation is so that I can be GREAT... it is much more simple to do when the motivation is THEM.
4.26.2009
4.18.2009
Conform vs. Consecrate
For the last 10 years I have had a favorite saying, by George Bernard Shaw. Here it is:
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man"
I remember where I was when I read this for the first time. This quote inspired me for a number of reasons. It told me I could DO and BE who I wanted. That if I held on long enough, and REFUSED to CONFORM, eventually everything would go the way I wanted.
REFUSAL TO CONFORM... hmmm. Anybody that knows me would probably concede that this has been a theme in my life... and by following this quote as a defining creed, both good and bad have come. I have accomplished some pretty incredible things, and am smack dab in the middle of a lot of pain as a result of the arrogance adherence to this quote manifested in me.
So what about the greatest being that ever lived, Jesus Christ. I think that everyone would agree that He certainly didn't CONFORM to the leadership of His time. BUT - unlike the quote from George Bernard Shaw, Christ did NOT persist in trying to adapt the world to Himself, either. Some might argue that He tried to change things... and we certainly know that He changed EVERYTHING... but his was not a life of refusal to CONFORM. His was a life of CONSECRATION. He did what he did because he had a sure knowledge of His Father, and sought only to do the will of His Father.
We have all heard the saying, "You can't change others, you can only change yourself." Imagine the arrogance of my quote, that basically postulated that I would refuse to change! How much pain might I have avoided by recognizing the principal of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING.
A few quick examples:
Person trying to "lose pounds" struggles to CONFORM to that "new diet". Person who is converted to healthy living chooses to CONSECRATE his diet choices to a deeper mission within him / herself.
Person wanting to live on a budget is frustrated when they continually fail to CONFORM to the strict budget... but when the pain of being a slave to finances becomes great enough, suddenly each refusal to splurge is CONSECRATED to the cause of financial freedom.
As I have chosen over the past weeks and months to continue to CONSECRATE things unto causes greater than my own plans, life has taken some very tough directions... and to someone observing me, they might perhaps perceive that things just got bad enough that I was "broken" into a place of humility, and finally a willingness to CONFORM.
Make no mistake - CONSECRATION requires humility... a humility & trust in principles and powers outside of my control that I never could have believed I would feel. Somehow, in CONSECRATION the humility is a WISH, almost a desire - deep within. In CONFORMING humility might be born of being forced.
I believe fo CONSECRATION to exist, we must have a belief or hope in or for something so far out of reach, that CONSECRATION comes natural. Despite the struggles that have been heaped up, the difference between CONSECRATION and CONFORMING has helped me to keep going. In CONSECRATION, the events that are transpiring are results of my choices.
EVERYONE should have causes that they are engaged enough in to CONSECRATE pieces of our lives to. Many people do this naturally... like a parent making sacrifices for their children... but these "sacrifices" are not really sacrifices to the parent, because the parent is CONSECRATING the sacrifices to the cause of the family.
I hope that the lesson of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING may assist some reader to take action toward a higher purpose, and do so joyfully, even though it may not be easy.
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man"
I remember where I was when I read this for the first time. This quote inspired me for a number of reasons. It told me I could DO and BE who I wanted. That if I held on long enough, and REFUSED to CONFORM, eventually everything would go the way I wanted.
REFUSAL TO CONFORM... hmmm. Anybody that knows me would probably concede that this has been a theme in my life... and by following this quote as a defining creed, both good and bad have come. I have accomplished some pretty incredible things, and am smack dab in the middle of a lot of pain as a result of the arrogance adherence to this quote manifested in me.
So what about the greatest being that ever lived, Jesus Christ. I think that everyone would agree that He certainly didn't CONFORM to the leadership of His time. BUT - unlike the quote from George Bernard Shaw, Christ did NOT persist in trying to adapt the world to Himself, either. Some might argue that He tried to change things... and we certainly know that He changed EVERYTHING... but his was not a life of refusal to CONFORM. His was a life of CONSECRATION. He did what he did because he had a sure knowledge of His Father, and sought only to do the will of His Father.
We have all heard the saying, "You can't change others, you can only change yourself." Imagine the arrogance of my quote, that basically postulated that I would refuse to change! How much pain might I have avoided by recognizing the principal of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING.
A few quick examples:
Person trying to "lose pounds" struggles to CONFORM to that "new diet". Person who is converted to healthy living chooses to CONSECRATE his diet choices to a deeper mission within him / herself.
Person wanting to live on a budget is frustrated when they continually fail to CONFORM to the strict budget... but when the pain of being a slave to finances becomes great enough, suddenly each refusal to splurge is CONSECRATED to the cause of financial freedom.
As I have chosen over the past weeks and months to continue to CONSECRATE things unto causes greater than my own plans, life has taken some very tough directions... and to someone observing me, they might perhaps perceive that things just got bad enough that I was "broken" into a place of humility, and finally a willingness to CONFORM.
Make no mistake - CONSECRATION requires humility... a humility & trust in principles and powers outside of my control that I never could have believed I would feel. Somehow, in CONSECRATION the humility is a WISH, almost a desire - deep within. In CONFORMING humility might be born of being forced.
I believe fo CONSECRATION to exist, we must have a belief or hope in or for something so far out of reach, that CONSECRATION comes natural. Despite the struggles that have been heaped up, the difference between CONSECRATION and CONFORMING has helped me to keep going. In CONSECRATION, the events that are transpiring are results of my choices.
EVERYONE should have causes that they are engaged enough in to CONSECRATE pieces of our lives to. Many people do this naturally... like a parent making sacrifices for their children... but these "sacrifices" are not really sacrifices to the parent, because the parent is CONSECRATING the sacrifices to the cause of the family.
I hope that the lesson of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING may assist some reader to take action toward a higher purpose, and do so joyfully, even though it may not be easy.
4.05.2009
Living Without
If you ever want to appreciate something, try living without it for awhile!
Recently I went 1 week without internet access (except on my phone)... what a frustrating feeling of being disconnected!
More significantly, every time I travel or am away from my beautiful wife and children for several days, I am overcome by the sense of missing them, of anticipating seeing them, and when I finally do it is like a treasure. I a love to observe how quickly my children grow. My second youngest daughter is four. She told me yesterday about the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" and she said, "that movie is hilarious Dad, you HAVE to see it!" Something about the way she said the word hilarious caught me off guard, and nearly brought me to my knees... my children are growing up!
Imagine a world where just a few of the things that are a part of your normal life are now GONE. What if you were suddenly forced to live without hot water, or heat in your house? Okay - those are pretty big ones. What about living without a Washer and Dryer? Would you hand-scrub and hang your clothes? Or are you simply confronted with the inconvenience and expense of heading to the Laundry? What if you had to go a week or two without your car, or a day without your cell phone! What if you couldn't reach your family and friends - anybody for a whole day, a month or a year?
The other day I went to traffic court - and plead guilty to a speeding ticket (10 over). While in the courtroom, I waited as the Judge met with about 10 individuals who had been in jail. Some for a few nights, and some for several months or even a year. As I observed these people, I felt something. I imagined what it must be like to be alone in there. This made me very uncomfortable.
This was an important opportunity for me to reflect on all of the things I am the most grateful for in life... and also think about all of the little things I would appreciate if faced with a similar circumstance: A hot meal, a car to drive, internet access, the ability to work to provide for my family, and I thought about each member of my family... all of the things I would miss most, along with all the things I plan to do as I continue to be a part of their lives.
There is a travesty in this principle! Why is it that many people get caught in the trap of taking things for granted? How is it that too often we must lose something in order to value and appreciate it as we should?
As I listened to the conversations these prisoners conducted with the Judge. Each one seemed to promise reform... convey to the judge a commitment to do better, and to be more. As I sat there... I could not help but wonder, "Am I any different?".
The answer is YES! I choose to be different.
As I reflected, I concluded that generally most people react similarly. Once we lose things, we start to appreciate them. In that way perhaps we are all alike. Most people are more worried about the things they don't have, than they are grateful for what they have. Here are two more important things I believe can set us apart from being caught in the trap:
1. TIME & DISCIPLINE (Patience). If I will choose - be WILLING to live without a luxury or comfort for a period of time, appreciating the value of it, and choosing to sacrifice it for today with the hope of finding even greater appreciation and more joy after the period of sacrifice, I AM different than someone who simply loses things and then regrets the loss.
When I cam home from living in Germany I bought a car I loved with the help of a friend. It was a nice car (in my opinion) but it had no CD player at all. I can remember being encouraged by several people to buy the CD player, get "A system" and deck it out - but I was willing to wait. I worked hard to save money and pay the car off. I saved much of my money to get a down payment on a condo, and buy my wife a wedding ring. Every purchase I made at that stage in my life was rewarding because I waited, worked, and truly considered each choice, and when I made a decision I made a decision based on value, and not immediate gratification.
Somehow and at some point, I regret to admit that I lost track of this character trait. I become egotistical, and had to HAVE to be happy, instead of being willing to work to BE happy within myself. Hidden in the negative pattern I am describing is the second secret to being different:
2. A GOAL GREATER THAN MYSELF. At the heart of MISSING something is a longing for something or someone that we seek for. What is it we seek? A car, more money, all of these luxuries, in their very nature SERVE ME.
What if instead of LONGING for, or SEEKING for a luxury, our seeking is focused on SERVICE, LOVE, PROVIDING. This simple shift is the difference between me working hard at my business to gain success and conquest, and working to PROVIDE. If providing is truly what I seek then when I accomplish it - I am filled with joy and satisfaction, instead of a desire to have MORE, MORE, and MORE conquest.
So the next question for me is SUSTAINING the correct goals. One of the most difficult things in the world is to SUSTAIN. I blogged about this topic last year when I wrote about REPETITION = GREATNESS. In that post I committed to write this blog. While I have come to realize that blogging SEVERAL times per week may not be in line with my priorities, I will continue to post... because that is the essence of SUSTAINING.
Perhaps the only thing I have learned relative to being able to sustain an effort, and keep it going is to have a GREATER PURPOSE IN LIFE. To set for ourselves a GOAL that fills every inch of our hearts and minds. For me the goal is clear... and big enough that despite any amount of adversity, the goal burns in my heart and moves me to walk toward it. Unfortunately, it took the collapse of the economy, and the subsequent collapse of my ego to recognize the importance of this goal that I had lost track of, or put on the back burner to my conquest... and to recognize some of the safeguards or habits that I either chose never to form because I believed myself too strong, or that falsely believed I could get by without.
In response to this post, please consider something that you take for granted, that living without would turn your entire world upside down... and commit NOT to take it for granted.
And go find that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG GOAL that is the one thing you want most. And then, if you are serious about it, try LIVING WITHOUT something you love or enjoy for awhile until you progress toward your goal. My guess is that if you are unwilling to go without for awhile, either your goal is not really your goal, or you are not ready to do what it takes to achieve it.
Recently I went 1 week without internet access (except on my phone)... what a frustrating feeling of being disconnected!
More significantly, every time I travel or am away from my beautiful wife and children for several days, I am overcome by the sense of missing them, of anticipating seeing them, and when I finally do it is like a treasure. I a love to observe how quickly my children grow. My second youngest daughter is four. She told me yesterday about the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" and she said, "that movie is hilarious Dad, you HAVE to see it!" Something about the way she said the word hilarious caught me off guard, and nearly brought me to my knees... my children are growing up!
Imagine a world where just a few of the things that are a part of your normal life are now GONE. What if you were suddenly forced to live without hot water, or heat in your house? Okay - those are pretty big ones. What about living without a Washer and Dryer? Would you hand-scrub and hang your clothes? Or are you simply confronted with the inconvenience and expense of heading to the Laundry? What if you had to go a week or two without your car, or a day without your cell phone! What if you couldn't reach your family and friends - anybody for a whole day, a month or a year?
The other day I went to traffic court - and plead guilty to a speeding ticket (10 over). While in the courtroom, I waited as the Judge met with about 10 individuals who had been in jail. Some for a few nights, and some for several months or even a year. As I observed these people, I felt something. I imagined what it must be like to be alone in there. This made me very uncomfortable.
This was an important opportunity for me to reflect on all of the things I am the most grateful for in life... and also think about all of the little things I would appreciate if faced with a similar circumstance: A hot meal, a car to drive, internet access, the ability to work to provide for my family, and I thought about each member of my family... all of the things I would miss most, along with all the things I plan to do as I continue to be a part of their lives.
There is a travesty in this principle! Why is it that many people get caught in the trap of taking things for granted? How is it that too often we must lose something in order to value and appreciate it as we should?
As I listened to the conversations these prisoners conducted with the Judge. Each one seemed to promise reform... convey to the judge a commitment to do better, and to be more. As I sat there... I could not help but wonder, "Am I any different?".
The answer is YES! I choose to be different.
As I reflected, I concluded that generally most people react similarly. Once we lose things, we start to appreciate them. In that way perhaps we are all alike. Most people are more worried about the things they don't have, than they are grateful for what they have. Here are two more important things I believe can set us apart from being caught in the trap:
1. TIME & DISCIPLINE (Patience). If I will choose - be WILLING to live without a luxury or comfort for a period of time, appreciating the value of it, and choosing to sacrifice it for today with the hope of finding even greater appreciation and more joy after the period of sacrifice, I AM different than someone who simply loses things and then regrets the loss.
When I cam home from living in Germany I bought a car I loved with the help of a friend. It was a nice car (in my opinion) but it had no CD player at all. I can remember being encouraged by several people to buy the CD player, get "A system" and deck it out - but I was willing to wait. I worked hard to save money and pay the car off. I saved much of my money to get a down payment on a condo, and buy my wife a wedding ring. Every purchase I made at that stage in my life was rewarding because I waited, worked, and truly considered each choice, and when I made a decision I made a decision based on value, and not immediate gratification.
Somehow and at some point, I regret to admit that I lost track of this character trait. I become egotistical, and had to HAVE to be happy, instead of being willing to work to BE happy within myself. Hidden in the negative pattern I am describing is the second secret to being different:
2. A GOAL GREATER THAN MYSELF. At the heart of MISSING something is a longing for something or someone that we seek for. What is it we seek? A car, more money, all of these luxuries, in their very nature SERVE ME.
What if instead of LONGING for, or SEEKING for a luxury, our seeking is focused on SERVICE, LOVE, PROVIDING. This simple shift is the difference between me working hard at my business to gain success and conquest, and working to PROVIDE. If providing is truly what I seek then when I accomplish it - I am filled with joy and satisfaction, instead of a desire to have MORE, MORE, and MORE conquest.
So the next question for me is SUSTAINING the correct goals. One of the most difficult things in the world is to SUSTAIN. I blogged about this topic last year when I wrote about REPETITION = GREATNESS. In that post I committed to write this blog. While I have come to realize that blogging SEVERAL times per week may not be in line with my priorities, I will continue to post... because that is the essence of SUSTAINING.
Perhaps the only thing I have learned relative to being able to sustain an effort, and keep it going is to have a GREATER PURPOSE IN LIFE. To set for ourselves a GOAL that fills every inch of our hearts and minds. For me the goal is clear... and big enough that despite any amount of adversity, the goal burns in my heart and moves me to walk toward it. Unfortunately, it took the collapse of the economy, and the subsequent collapse of my ego to recognize the importance of this goal that I had lost track of, or put on the back burner to my conquest... and to recognize some of the safeguards or habits that I either chose never to form because I believed myself too strong, or that falsely believed I could get by without.
In response to this post, please consider something that you take for granted, that living without would turn your entire world upside down... and commit NOT to take it for granted.
And go find that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG GOAL that is the one thing you want most. And then, if you are serious about it, try LIVING WITHOUT something you love or enjoy for awhile until you progress toward your goal. My guess is that if you are unwilling to go without for awhile, either your goal is not really your goal, or you are not ready to do what it takes to achieve it.
3.29.2009
Getting Answers To Tough Questions
Several months ago, I was struggling internally with a whole bunch of stuff. This blog probably is enough evidence of that for anyone who has been following.
In the midst of some pretty intensive attempts at personal discovery I had so many questions:
What do I want to do with my life?
Why do I feel this way?
What am I going to do for a living when I grow up?
Do I want to run my own business, or maybe working for someone else would be easier for awhile?
Am I a good Dad or Husband?
There have been too many questions to list, but one day I was sitting at my desk in my office at home, and I typed the following questions on a paper and then taped it to the wall:
WHO am I?
What is my PURPOSE?
What is my GOAL?
What is my LEGACY?
I think you will agree that these questions are different than the other questions... but how? Rather than being questions that define what I wanted to "DO" they focused on who I wanted to "BE"... on the person I am striving to become.
For several months, these questions just stared at me every day. They looked at me and demanded answering. These are difficult questions to answer because to give them an answer, I had to be prepared to either live with myself, or be the person I wanted.
As the weeks and months went by, I decided to try to manage my time better, and bought a Franklin/Covey Planner. As I began to try to use the planner, it became evident that I needed to form stronger self discipline, and HABITS. I needed help, and the planner recommended this important book... The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey.
(As I have consistently read this book I have wondered if the book should be titled "The Ultimate Journey of The Discovery of Ones Heart and Soul in a World Where All That Seems to Matter is Money", or "Finding Your Life Again When You Thought You Were Lost Forever", or even "The Book That Will Give Jake Strength to Be The Man He Should Have Been All Along.")
How I wished I would have read this book 10 years ago! One of the most remarkable things about it is that as a result of some of the learning and forming of Habits in this book, I am actually consistently reading several other books I should have been reading. Go READ this book, and do all of the exercises in it!!!
Forming Habits is not easy, but it is worth it. My experience with forming Habits so far is that the change that inspires the habit MUST come from inside... from my deepest desires... from the answers to some of the questions above.
Several weeks ago, I started GETTING ANSWERS to these TOUGH QUESTIONS. What is funny is that it took so much time and energy from me to have the strength to face myself and ASK the questions in the first place. And GETTING THE ANSWERS has not been any easier. I wrote the answers to these very questions several weeks ago... and then, because of an assignment in Stephen R. Covey's book, began working on My Personal Mission Statement.
He encourages readers to go slow, and there are SEVERAL processes you can go through to find the Mission Statement... for about 10 days I have had the words "MISSION STATEMENT" written in my Planner.
Today, I FINISHED IT! (for now... it can always be added to or refined).
Some of you might be thinking - Okay Jake, just tell us your answers so we can feel impressed - that is not the purpose of this blog! My purpose is to inspire you to GET YOUR ANSWERS, and WRITE YOUR MISSION STATEMENT so you can feel the power they bring into your life.
I have concluded that my answers to these questions are for me - and maybe my wife and my children to know... but I can promise anyone who might read this - getting your answers IS WORTH IT.
If you are stuck - YOU CAN GET THE ANSWERS! It is AWESOME to know that there ARE answers!!! Contact me and I would LOVE to share my experience with you individually.
In the midst of some pretty intensive attempts at personal discovery I had so many questions:
What do I want to do with my life?
Why do I feel this way?
What am I going to do for a living when I grow up?
Do I want to run my own business, or maybe working for someone else would be easier for awhile?
Am I a good Dad or Husband?
There have been too many questions to list, but one day I was sitting at my desk in my office at home, and I typed the following questions on a paper and then taped it to the wall:
WHO am I?
What is my PURPOSE?
What is my GOAL?
What is my LEGACY?
I think you will agree that these questions are different than the other questions... but how? Rather than being questions that define what I wanted to "DO" they focused on who I wanted to "BE"... on the person I am striving to become.
For several months, these questions just stared at me every day. They looked at me and demanded answering. These are difficult questions to answer because to give them an answer, I had to be prepared to either live with myself, or be the person I wanted.
As the weeks and months went by, I decided to try to manage my time better, and bought a Franklin/Covey Planner. As I began to try to use the planner, it became evident that I needed to form stronger self discipline, and HABITS. I needed help, and the planner recommended this important book... The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey.
(As I have consistently read this book I have wondered if the book should be titled "The Ultimate Journey of The Discovery of Ones Heart and Soul in a World Where All That Seems to Matter is Money", or "Finding Your Life Again When You Thought You Were Lost Forever", or even "The Book That Will Give Jake Strength to Be The Man He Should Have Been All Along.")How I wished I would have read this book 10 years ago! One of the most remarkable things about it is that as a result of some of the learning and forming of Habits in this book, I am actually consistently reading several other books I should have been reading. Go READ this book, and do all of the exercises in it!!!
Forming Habits is not easy, but it is worth it. My experience with forming Habits so far is that the change that inspires the habit MUST come from inside... from my deepest desires... from the answers to some of the questions above.
Several weeks ago, I started GETTING ANSWERS to these TOUGH QUESTIONS. What is funny is that it took so much time and energy from me to have the strength to face myself and ASK the questions in the first place. And GETTING THE ANSWERS has not been any easier. I wrote the answers to these very questions several weeks ago... and then, because of an assignment in Stephen R. Covey's book, began working on My Personal Mission Statement.
He encourages readers to go slow, and there are SEVERAL processes you can go through to find the Mission Statement... for about 10 days I have had the words "MISSION STATEMENT" written in my Planner.
Today, I FINISHED IT! (for now... it can always be added to or refined).
Some of you might be thinking - Okay Jake, just tell us your answers so we can feel impressed - that is not the purpose of this blog! My purpose is to inspire you to GET YOUR ANSWERS, and WRITE YOUR MISSION STATEMENT so you can feel the power they bring into your life.
I have concluded that my answers to these questions are for me - and maybe my wife and my children to know... but I can promise anyone who might read this - getting your answers IS WORTH IT.
If you are stuck - YOU CAN GET THE ANSWERS! It is AWESOME to know that there ARE answers!!! Contact me and I would LOVE to share my experience with you individually.
3.26.2009
Learning to Trust
If you are a "Doer" (or is that spelled "Do-er"?)... then you are a person who does things... you make things happen. Or so you think.
Certainly it can be said of people who are "Doers" that they try. I think there is a verse in the Bible that says be ye Doers, not hearers only. Anyone who knows me knows that for my whole life I've been a "Doer". I guess my logic has always been "why would I trust someone else to do something for me when I can do it myself?". Other sentiments might be "if what you are do-ing isn't working, do more!"
This perspective has its share of benefits - but in recent times I have been forced to look at things with a new perspective:
Learning to trust in the Lord.
My intent here is not to turn my blog into a religious soap box at all... but stay with me for a minute...
Trusting and hoping in a power greater than oneself is a powerful principle. When a child learns to swim, at some point - the child must let go of the edge or his parent, and SWIM! The child must trust that the water they are terrified of will hold them up even though they know they sometimes sink. If they follow the direction of proper training, despite their fears, they will find that they can make it... but only by continuing to follow the steps for swimming (kick those feet, paddle those arms, breath, kick those feet). Only by letting go of the edge can the child come to know and proclaim "Daddy, I CAN SWIM!" Yet it does require action, and TRUST to try.
I am completely out of my element in life. From the economy being its very own force that seems to do whatever it wants, to other circumstances and challenges - being a "Do-er" is not enough.
The best part about the situation is that because it is not enough - I have had to LEARN to TRUST in God, and not my own strength. I like the child have had to learn to trust that if I kick my feet, paddle my arms, and breath, he will not let me drown.
I am not sure what came first, trusting Him - or putting him first - but somehow as I have striven to implement BOTH of these principles, the Do-ing has become easier, more automatic, more joyful, and more productive.
It doesn't make all of the emotion or energy centered around the circumstances go away, but it does give me the knowledge that He can make more out of me than I could have anyway.
So now: Kick, kick, kick! Paddle, paddle, paddle! Breath... kick those feet!
Certainly it can be said of people who are "Doers" that they try. I think there is a verse in the Bible that says be ye Doers, not hearers only. Anyone who knows me knows that for my whole life I've been a "Doer". I guess my logic has always been "why would I trust someone else to do something for me when I can do it myself?". Other sentiments might be "if what you are do-ing isn't working, do more!"
This perspective has its share of benefits - but in recent times I have been forced to look at things with a new perspective:
Learning to trust in the Lord.
My intent here is not to turn my blog into a religious soap box at all... but stay with me for a minute...
Trusting and hoping in a power greater than oneself is a powerful principle. When a child learns to swim, at some point - the child must let go of the edge or his parent, and SWIM! The child must trust that the water they are terrified of will hold them up even though they know they sometimes sink. If they follow the direction of proper training, despite their fears, they will find that they can make it... but only by continuing to follow the steps for swimming (kick those feet, paddle those arms, breath, kick those feet). Only by letting go of the edge can the child come to know and proclaim "Daddy, I CAN SWIM!" Yet it does require action, and TRUST to try.
I am completely out of my element in life. From the economy being its very own force that seems to do whatever it wants, to other circumstances and challenges - being a "Do-er" is not enough.
The best part about the situation is that because it is not enough - I have had to LEARN to TRUST in God, and not my own strength. I like the child have had to learn to trust that if I kick my feet, paddle my arms, and breath, he will not let me drown.
I am not sure what came first, trusting Him - or putting him first - but somehow as I have striven to implement BOTH of these principles, the Do-ing has become easier, more automatic, more joyful, and more productive.
It doesn't make all of the emotion or energy centered around the circumstances go away, but it does give me the knowledge that He can make more out of me than I could have anyway.
So now: Kick, kick, kick! Paddle, paddle, paddle! Breath... kick those feet!
3.19.2009
Lost in Space
If you read my blog today, please take a minute to do something with me. Put your cell phone away for a minute (no texting). Clear away any distractions - and take a few deep breaths before you read on. Now read carefully and pay attention to your feelings...
Imagine yourself in space. Noone is around at all. Everything is gone - really gone. You feel you are suspended in place, and as you look around you realize you hear nothing. You look to try and find Earth, but you see thousands of planets everywhere you look, and that is all. Imagine that you realize you are just there in space, alone... no food, no method of travel, noone to even try to talk with. Now imagine that you realize you are lost in space. You realize that while you will remain conscious - your life will stay like this.
Who are you? What is your purpose? What if this went on forever with no end? If you had to live the rest of completely alone, what would you do?
If you are able to visualize this experience, what do you feel?
Fortunately for most everyone, we are constantly surrounded by family, friends, children, work, and other activities, and we will likely never have to confront a circumstance like this. Still, asking ourselves who we are in this context can be scary, and even create feelings of panic.
Sometimes, events happen in our lives that give us the feeling we are alone, or forgotten. This can be a painful experience.
Maslows hierarchy of needs suggests that humans need Oxygen above every other thing. They have to be able to BREATH or they can't think, process - do anything else. Maslow said that just after oxygen, we need Food, Shelter and Love... I think he was WRONG!
Finding LOVE out there in outer space can be tough for a guy like me who needs to connect with people like I need oxygen. As I have felt my way through this exercise several times the last few days, I have learned some interesting things about myself, and about LOVE.
First, Even if all alone, there is a purpose to my life. In this context it can be simpler to recognize my biggest, most important goals... goals about who I am and who I want to be, not just goals about what I want to do.
What do we learn about LOVE if we are all alone in space?
Some of the most remarkable demonstrations of LOVE in human history have come when a person chooses to sacrifice something high on their own list of needs for something higher on another persons...
A mother who loves her children so much that she chooses to provide them Food while she goes hungry clearly illustrates this point... or a story of one person giving up a warm coat to a loved one, and freezing as a result would show Maslow that Love is more than a need WE have for ourselves, but a NEED we have to GIVE. Giving and receiving LOVE instead of keeping my shelter (a winter coat).
So maybe Maslow was wrong? Maybe we all need LOVE, then oxygen, food, shelter.
So what if you knew that you had to live forever in outer space, but that by doing so, all of the people you loved could have the Love, Oxygen, Food, and Shelter they needed, would you? I guess that is a question that can only be answered by determining Who You Are? What Is Your Purpose? And are those things real enough to last if you are lost in space?
Imagine yourself in space. Noone is around at all. Everything is gone - really gone. You feel you are suspended in place, and as you look around you realize you hear nothing. You look to try and find Earth, but you see thousands of planets everywhere you look, and that is all. Imagine that you realize you are just there in space, alone... no food, no method of travel, noone to even try to talk with. Now imagine that you realize you are lost in space. You realize that while you will remain conscious - your life will stay like this.
Who are you? What is your purpose? What if this went on forever with no end? If you had to live the rest of completely alone, what would you do?
If you are able to visualize this experience, what do you feel?
Fortunately for most everyone, we are constantly surrounded by family, friends, children, work, and other activities, and we will likely never have to confront a circumstance like this. Still, asking ourselves who we are in this context can be scary, and even create feelings of panic.
Sometimes, events happen in our lives that give us the feeling we are alone, or forgotten. This can be a painful experience.
Maslows hierarchy of needs suggests that humans need Oxygen above every other thing. They have to be able to BREATH or they can't think, process - do anything else. Maslow said that just after oxygen, we need Food, Shelter and Love... I think he was WRONG!
Finding LOVE out there in outer space can be tough for a guy like me who needs to connect with people like I need oxygen. As I have felt my way through this exercise several times the last few days, I have learned some interesting things about myself, and about LOVE.
First, Even if all alone, there is a purpose to my life. In this context it can be simpler to recognize my biggest, most important goals... goals about who I am and who I want to be, not just goals about what I want to do.
What do we learn about LOVE if we are all alone in space?
Some of the most remarkable demonstrations of LOVE in human history have come when a person chooses to sacrifice something high on their own list of needs for something higher on another persons...
A mother who loves her children so much that she chooses to provide them Food while she goes hungry clearly illustrates this point... or a story of one person giving up a warm coat to a loved one, and freezing as a result would show Maslow that Love is more than a need WE have for ourselves, but a NEED we have to GIVE. Giving and receiving LOVE instead of keeping my shelter (a winter coat).
So maybe Maslow was wrong? Maybe we all need LOVE, then oxygen, food, shelter.
So what if you knew that you had to live forever in outer space, but that by doing so, all of the people you loved could have the Love, Oxygen, Food, and Shelter they needed, would you? I guess that is a question that can only be answered by determining Who You Are? What Is Your Purpose? And are those things real enough to last if you are lost in space?
3.06.2009
The Midas Touch, in Reverse?
The story of the Midas Touch is one we all remember... and the concept is one that is applauded in our culture.
Allow me to recount:
Dionysus found his old schoolmaster and foster father, the satyr Silenus, missing. He had been drinking wine and wandered away drunk, to be found by some peasants, who carried him to their king, Midas (some say he passed out in Midas' rose garden). Midas treated him well - entertaining him for ten days and nights with politeness, while Silenus entertained Midas and his friends with stories and songs.
Lately, I have felt like I had the Midas Touch - but in REVERSE! Everything I touch (when it comes to real estate) turns into GARBAGE! This has caused me great sadness, remorse, guilt, anger, loss, disappointment and frustration.
But lets go back to the story of King Midas:
Good King Midas hastened to put his new gift to the test. He touched an oak twig and a stone; both turned to gold! Incredible.
Midas returned home, and had his servants prepare a feast. On trying to eat, his food became gold and his drink hardened before his very eyes. To his horror, he even turned his daughter to gold.
What can I learn from the story?
First I take away that the idea or wish to be able to turn everything to gold is in itself not something that would bring happiness. What if every person I talked to, every deal you did, every move made was a guaranteed success? What a boring, and terrible condition. Any triumph of victory or personal achievement would be bleached out of life. No struggle = no reward.
What else can I learn?
What is fascinating is that when times were good I started to believe I had the Midas Touch... and now that times are tough, I have struggled with the feeling that every thing I touch fails, turns into garbage, etc.
I think I can learn that both of these conditions are OUTCOME based beliefs. I have drawn conclusions about myself based upon results instead of the PROCESS I have followed, or PRINCIPLES I have lived.
I am so grateful for these tough times, because if I can learn lessons now, and make them a part of my character, I will know to measure OUTCOME last.
One of the wealthiest friends I have has silently taught me the lesson that those with gold are not assured to be happier than those without... he has become one of the happiest / funnest guys I know because despite his financial comforts, he has continued to strive to be a better husband, father, son, and friend... and found the richness of life in the process.
I hope to integrate this principle into my life as well.
Allow me to recount:
Dionysus found his old schoolmaster and foster father, the satyr Silenus, missing. He had been drinking wine and wandered away drunk, to be found by some peasants, who carried him to their king, Midas (some say he passed out in Midas' rose garden). Midas treated him well - entertaining him for ten days and nights with politeness, while Silenus entertained Midas and his friends with stories and songs.
On the eleventh day, Midas brought Silenus back to Dionysus. Dionysus offered Midas his choice of whatever reward he wished for. Midas asked that whatever he might touch should be changed into gold.
Midas rejoiced in his new power, which he hastened to put to the test.
Allow me to interject that this is the part of the story we all remember - in fact it is this concept we all admire in those few people we know who seem to succeed at everything. "You should meet my friend Bryce, he has the Midas touch" (no really - he does)
If I am allowed to speak frankly - this is a gift I actually at one point in my life believed I possessed. (I am so ashamed to admit this.) This is a "gift" we often envy or admire.Lately, I have felt like I had the Midas Touch - but in REVERSE! Everything I touch (when it comes to real estate) turns into GARBAGE! This has caused me great sadness, remorse, guilt, anger, loss, disappointment and frustration.
But lets go back to the story of King Midas:
Good King Midas hastened to put his new gift to the test. He touched an oak twig and a stone; both turned to gold! Incredible.
Midas returned home, and had his servants prepare a feast. On trying to eat, his food became gold and his drink hardened before his very eyes. To his horror, he even turned his daughter to gold.
Naturally Midas hated the gift he had been so delighted to posses. He plead once again to Dionysus - this time begging to have the gift removed. Dionysus answered by telling Midas to wash in the river.
Midas was freed from the curse when he washed in the river. According to the story, the power flowed into the river, and the river sands turned into gold. (As a sidenote, Midas was a real king, and this story explained why the river Pactolus was so rich in gold, and the wealth of the dynasty claiming Midas as its forefather no doubt the impetus for this myth.What can I learn from the story?
First I take away that the idea or wish to be able to turn everything to gold is in itself not something that would bring happiness. What if every person I talked to, every deal you did, every move made was a guaranteed success? What a boring, and terrible condition. Any triumph of victory or personal achievement would be bleached out of life. No struggle = no reward.
What else can I learn?
What is fascinating is that when times were good I started to believe I had the Midas Touch... and now that times are tough, I have struggled with the feeling that every thing I touch fails, turns into garbage, etc.
I think I can learn that both of these conditions are OUTCOME based beliefs. I have drawn conclusions about myself based upon results instead of the PROCESS I have followed, or PRINCIPLES I have lived.
I am so grateful for these tough times, because if I can learn lessons now, and make them a part of my character, I will know to measure OUTCOME last.
One of the wealthiest friends I have has silently taught me the lesson that those with gold are not assured to be happier than those without... he has become one of the happiest / funnest guys I know because despite his financial comforts, he has continued to strive to be a better husband, father, son, and friend... and found the richness of life in the process.
I hope to integrate this principle into my life as well.
3.05.2009
Busy vs. Distracted?
Allow me to confess that in the past 30 to 45 days, my quest for personal growth has had its challenges. I have allowed myself to become (Bom, Bom, Bom) Too Busy.
What is fascinating about the last 45 days is that despite my feelings of being overwhelmed, the reality is that I have accomplished a fraction of my traditional output. Quite literally what I am saying here is that if I was normally able to get 5 things done in a day, I got busy and started accomplishing only 3 things in a day, when my whole quest is to accomplish 12.
So here was the "Ah-Hah" moment: I am talking to a gentleman on the phone and he is reciting to me how busy he is. As I listen to him name of the laundry list of things it became clear to me I might just as well have been listening to myself. It also became clear that this gentleman and I are in actuality NOT BUSY, but DISTRACTED.
The following definition can be found on dictionary.com:
dis⋅tract⋅ed [di-strak-tid] – adjective
1. having the attention diverted: She tried to work, but was consistently distracted by text messages from her friends.
2. rendered incapable of behaving, reacting, etc., in a normal manner, as by worry, remorse, or the like; irrational; disturbed.
There has been a LOT written about how BUSY people are in our lives because of the day and time we live in. People list off work, school, church, kids, cell phones.
Are you fricking kidding me? We don't have to farm our own food! The truth is we are NOT busier - just more distracted.
The SOLUTION: Be focused. Make a work plan and stick to it. Be the leader of my own life!!!
What is fascinating about the last 45 days is that despite my feelings of being overwhelmed, the reality is that I have accomplished a fraction of my traditional output. Quite literally what I am saying here is that if I was normally able to get 5 things done in a day, I got busy and started accomplishing only 3 things in a day, when my whole quest is to accomplish 12.
So here was the "Ah-Hah" moment: I am talking to a gentleman on the phone and he is reciting to me how busy he is. As I listen to him name of the laundry list of things it became clear to me I might just as well have been listening to myself. It also became clear that this gentleman and I are in actuality NOT BUSY, but DISTRACTED.
The following definition can be found on dictionary.com:
dis⋅tract⋅ed [di-strak-tid] – adjective
1. having the attention diverted: She tried to work, but was consistently distracted by text messages from her friends.
2. rendered incapable of behaving, reacting, etc., in a normal manner, as by worry, remorse, or the like; irrational; disturbed.
There has been a LOT written about how BUSY people are in our lives because of the day and time we live in. People list off work, school, church, kids, cell phones.
Are you fricking kidding me? We don't have to farm our own food! The truth is we are NOT busier - just more distracted.
The SOLUTION: Be focused. Make a work plan and stick to it. Be the leader of my own life!!!
2.16.2009
Call Off The Wedding!
A very sad thing happened today. I was putting my four year old daughter to bed tonight, and she said, "Dad... I am so, so, so sorry... but I can't marry you anymore."
When I asked why, she told me it was because I needed to stay married to Mommy. She did reassure me, "But don't worry Dad. I promise I will still come and visit you. I'm just going to live right by you guys on our street."
This might be her line of thinking because I am blessed to live just 2 houses away from my parents... or maybe it was her sweet way of softening the blow. For about the last year or more, she has told everyone that asked her who she would marry, "I'm going to marry my Daddy".
This was actually a harder pill to swallow than I expected. Obviously not hard because the wedding has to be canceled (although I stand to lose a big deposit with the caterer who is booked solid until 2028)... but more because it means that she is growing up, and that I am not getting any younger.
After her announcement, she promised me that when putting her to bed in two days, I could do both her prayer, AND her song. (We pray and sing a song with each child, each night). She then figured out that today was Monday, and that tomorrow (Tuesday) Mommy would do her prayer and song, so Wednesday I could do both prayer and song, and Thursday she would do them herself.
Watching her look at her little fingers, and recite the days of the week while she unraveled this schedule was a bit like witnessing a butterfly perched on a flower, slowly fanning its wings, then taking off into the air, and fluttering away.
My oldest daughter (7) came into my office today and said, "Dad... I am really serious, and I want you to listen", and then announced "I don't want you to pinch me anymore". She is so fun to tickle, pinch, and tease... but I suppose a line has been drawn. (Except for every once in awhile.)
I have to wonder if I am continuing to develop just as my beautiful children?
When I asked why, she told me it was because I needed to stay married to Mommy. She did reassure me, "But don't worry Dad. I promise I will still come and visit you. I'm just going to live right by you guys on our street."
This might be her line of thinking because I am blessed to live just 2 houses away from my parents... or maybe it was her sweet way of softening the blow. For about the last year or more, she has told everyone that asked her who she would marry, "I'm going to marry my Daddy".
This was actually a harder pill to swallow than I expected. Obviously not hard because the wedding has to be canceled (although I stand to lose a big deposit with the caterer who is booked solid until 2028)... but more because it means that she is growing up, and that I am not getting any younger.
After her announcement, she promised me that when putting her to bed in two days, I could do both her prayer, AND her song. (We pray and sing a song with each child, each night). She then figured out that today was Monday, and that tomorrow (Tuesday) Mommy would do her prayer and song, so Wednesday I could do both prayer and song, and Thursday she would do them herself.
Watching her look at her little fingers, and recite the days of the week while she unraveled this schedule was a bit like witnessing a butterfly perched on a flower, slowly fanning its wings, then taking off into the air, and fluttering away.
My oldest daughter (7) came into my office today and said, "Dad... I am really serious, and I want you to listen", and then announced "I don't want you to pinch me anymore". She is so fun to tickle, pinch, and tease... but I suppose a line has been drawn. (Except for every once in awhile.)
I have to wonder if I am continuing to develop just as my beautiful children?
2.13.2009
Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss
I read this poem today and I actually shed some tears. (It is a fact)
Life is hard!!! I am so scared sometimes... but I know there are places I must go.
I hope this poem means as much to you as it did to me today.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
By Doctor Seuss
Congratulations!
Life is hard!!! I am so scared sometimes... but I know there are places I must go.
I hope this poem means as much to you as it did to me today.
Oh, the Places You'll Go!
By Doctor Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and three quarters percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...
Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!
1.16.2009
Earliest Memories
I put my 6 month old daughter to sleep last night, and watched her smile as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Any parent can relate to this feeling...
So I wondered if she will ever remember any of this beautiful time. Surely she won't.
As I came downstairs and Amanda & I talked... a question emerged in my mind and I asked my wife, "What is your Earliest Memory?"
She shared two. One memory of her preschool, and an ice cream party where they made home-made ice cream and the salt spilled on some of it and ruined it. (She also described a four-posted jungle gym and slide from her preschool.) Another earlier memory was of her dad dropping her and her brother off at a sitter's house so that he could go to the hospital as her mom gave birth to her little sister.
My earliest memory is sitting inside of a car with it raining outside... watching my Mom get out of the car and run in front of the car up to a house, and my sister Steffanie tormenting me until my Mom got back.
It gave me a sense of peace to think of that time way back then. When I think of my wife way out in California - and myself in Idaho - it is pretty incredible, and I feel pretty blessed to have crossed paths with my wife, and now be able to watch my children make their earliest memories.
And, while I get to observe most of the beautiful, funny and little things that happen to my children every day... I know my kids will forget almost all.
I'm just glad that I will never forget their earliest memories!
So I wondered if she will ever remember any of this beautiful time. Surely she won't.
As I came downstairs and Amanda & I talked... a question emerged in my mind and I asked my wife, "What is your Earliest Memory?"
She shared two. One memory of her preschool, and an ice cream party where they made home-made ice cream and the salt spilled on some of it and ruined it. (She also described a four-posted jungle gym and slide from her preschool.) Another earlier memory was of her dad dropping her and her brother off at a sitter's house so that he could go to the hospital as her mom gave birth to her little sister.
My earliest memory is sitting inside of a car with it raining outside... watching my Mom get out of the car and run in front of the car up to a house, and my sister Steffanie tormenting me until my Mom got back.
It gave me a sense of peace to think of that time way back then. When I think of my wife way out in California - and myself in Idaho - it is pretty incredible, and I feel pretty blessed to have crossed paths with my wife, and now be able to watch my children make their earliest memories.
And, while I get to observe most of the beautiful, funny and little things that happen to my children every day... I know my kids will forget almost all.
I'm just glad that I will never forget their earliest memories!
1.15.2009
Who Is Jake Ackerman?
The other day I had conversation with a gentleman named Justin Luedgerodt. (Did I get that spelling correctly?) We discussed the economy and the changing times.
Justin had some interesting insights. The comment that stuck the longest was: "There are a lot of people who've been successful for a long time who'll be forced to reinvent themselves."
I have had similar conversations with some of the best and brightest land developers, general contractors, Realtors, and others - and it is true.
Some people are waiting for the economy to "come back" and return to its previous way. In actuality we are transitioning into a new age.
From the Land Rush to the Gold Rush to the Industrial Revolution to the Baby Boomers - some called the last era "The Information Age". I think the New Age has yet to be written... but there can be no doubt - we will all be forced to change, adapt, and RE-INVENT ourselves if we wish to thrive.
So it is a great opportunity for me to ask: "Who is Jake Ackerman?" and really dig to find the answer.
Who are You?
Justin had some interesting insights. The comment that stuck the longest was: "There are a lot of people who've been successful for a long time who'll be forced to reinvent themselves."
I have had similar conversations with some of the best and brightest land developers, general contractors, Realtors, and others - and it is true.
Some people are waiting for the economy to "come back" and return to its previous way. In actuality we are transitioning into a new age.
From the Land Rush to the Gold Rush to the Industrial Revolution to the Baby Boomers - some called the last era "The Information Age". I think the New Age has yet to be written... but there can be no doubt - we will all be forced to change, adapt, and RE-INVENT ourselves if we wish to thrive.
So it is a great opportunity for me to ask: "Who is Jake Ackerman?" and really dig to find the answer.
Who are You?
1.14.2009
Like Sands of the Hour Glass... So Are The Days of Our Lives
Come on! Who doesn't remember that Daytime Soap from back in the eighties? Anyone who has ever watched an hourglass knows... the sand just keeps coming.
This is the saddest, most joyous truth we have.
My younger brother announced Sunday that he is almost thirty - WOW! I remember making him laugh when he was two.
My wife told me last night that she overheard my daughter in a conversation about boys or something with one of her friends. When my wife walked past the room, the two girls quickly switched topics, "So... what is your favorite color?" asked one girl of the other.
I recently watched the Movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was a terrific film based on the statement that "Youth is wasted on the young".
Amanda and I went to the movie together, and took turns taking care of baby Sadie throughout. The movie highlights the life of Benjamin Button, born an old man, and getting younger with every day of his life. In the movie he meets the love of his life and is getting younger as she gets older. It is a beautiful, sad, gleeful movie... and if you want to cherish your time more - go see this movie.
It left me feeling so grateful that I have someone who I can watch the years go by with. It left me appreciating the time I have with my little children more.
So while in hindsight there can be no doubt - our lives go by like sand falling from an hour glass - the best part of all of it is that every single grain of sand can be OURS! We can touch it, remember it, savor it, and LIVE each day... and that is incredible.
The other experience that deserves a chronicle here is that last Friday, my Dad and I went to Body Worlds for our Christmas present from Amanda.
This was a pretty incredible exhibit. Just seeing the human body - actual tissues of actual humans - was fascinating (and a bit nauseating) to me. As Dad & I went through "The Story of the Heart" exhibit, the relationship between the heart and brain was presented.
The importance of working your heart, exercising your body, and being health was evident. Seeing a the physical difference between the lungs of a smoker and a non-smoker, etc. was pretty awesome.
At one point in the show, there was a paper that posed the question, "Is the glass half full or half empty". We were not allowed to take photographs, so I don't have the exact caption, but the scientific data showed that even more than diet and exercise, the importance of being optimistic is critical to the health and well being of a body. (It also pointed out that regular exercise and good diet give your body the tools it needs to be optimistic)
This seemed to be something that I have held on to and preached, and now suddenly at Body Worlds came the complicated scientific explanation (breaking through my slight nausea at seeing all that flesh) for how & why being positive and optimistic makes for a happier & healthier you... and keeps you younger!
This is the saddest, most joyous truth we have.
My younger brother announced Sunday that he is almost thirty - WOW! I remember making him laugh when he was two.
My wife told me last night that she overheard my daughter in a conversation about boys or something with one of her friends. When my wife walked past the room, the two girls quickly switched topics, "So... what is your favorite color?" asked one girl of the other.
I recently watched the Movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was a terrific film based on the statement that "Youth is wasted on the young".
Amanda and I went to the movie together, and took turns taking care of baby Sadie throughout. The movie highlights the life of Benjamin Button, born an old man, and getting younger with every day of his life. In the movie he meets the love of his life and is getting younger as she gets older. It is a beautiful, sad, gleeful movie... and if you want to cherish your time more - go see this movie.
It left me feeling so grateful that I have someone who I can watch the years go by with. It left me appreciating the time I have with my little children more.
So while in hindsight there can be no doubt - our lives go by like sand falling from an hour glass - the best part of all of it is that every single grain of sand can be OURS! We can touch it, remember it, savor it, and LIVE each day... and that is incredible.
The other experience that deserves a chronicle here is that last Friday, my Dad and I went to Body Worlds for our Christmas present from Amanda.
This was a pretty incredible exhibit. Just seeing the human body - actual tissues of actual humans - was fascinating (and a bit nauseating) to me. As Dad & I went through "The Story of the Heart" exhibit, the relationship between the heart and brain was presented.
The importance of working your heart, exercising your body, and being health was evident. Seeing a the physical difference between the lungs of a smoker and a non-smoker, etc. was pretty awesome.
At one point in the show, there was a paper that posed the question, "Is the glass half full or half empty". We were not allowed to take photographs, so I don't have the exact caption, but the scientific data showed that even more than diet and exercise, the importance of being optimistic is critical to the health and well being of a body. (It also pointed out that regular exercise and good diet give your body the tools it needs to be optimistic)
This seemed to be something that I have held on to and preached, and now suddenly at Body Worlds came the complicated scientific explanation (breaking through my slight nausea at seeing all that flesh) for how & why being positive and optimistic makes for a happier & healthier you... and keeps you younger!
1.07.2009
Tough Times Make System of Values More Critical Than Ever
A friend Steve Lloyd and I recently connected on Linked In. He is one of the most brilliant software developers around. On his profile he talks about the simplicity of computer languages - and the similarities they have to other languages.
One of the benefits of a computer language I suppose is that there are rules, and (except in the case of Windows Vista, LOL!) the computer behaves according to the rules.
As people we are by nature, NOT computers. We behave erratically. On a date with a woman once, I told here she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen... instead of feeling complimented - she got very angry. "One of? One of the prettiest? Am I not good enough for you?" she said. I really wished I had just left it at "very pretty" or something. WOW!
It has been said that the true character of people shines through in the toughest of times. In several of my past blogs I have written about my experiences that certainly indicate that is true, and I am so grateful to those people who have shown tremendous character in the recent really tough times.
So in looking at all of these things, I have contemplated the importance of a System of Values that directs us in our behavior. Traditionally, a standard system of values might look something like this:
1. My Family; 2. My Church; 3. My Career; 4. My Friends
Others might feel this is incorrect, and change the order some - usually based upon their own experiences in life, and beliefs, etc.
1. God; 2. Family; 3. Friends; 4. Career
A couple of quick observations before we get to my point with all of this.
First - I believe that most people would SAY that their system of values is similar to those listed above... but in the end it is our behavior that proves what our values truly are.
Second - What a wonderful opportunity tough times give us - to prove our system of values, to test our resolve, and to make us really choose what we believe and value.
Now... on to the real point.
If someone had asked me 2 years ago what my "System of Values" was in the context of this blog, I would have responded very similarly to the systems listed above... God, Family, Etc.
Suddenly I am making Value Based Decisions on a whole slew of other criteria that I had never previously considered:
God vs. Church vs. Faith vs. Jesus Christ
My Family (wife & kids) vs. My Family (mom & dad) vs. My Family (brothers & sisters)
Career (This is its own subcategory)
Stay with Construction vs. Start Something Else
Work for FREE to pay my Subs vs. Work to pay my bills and tell subs they are S.O.L.
Protect my own Credit Score vs. Protect my investors Credit Score vs. Who to protect
Surely along these same lines, many families are struggling with some of these same questions about what they truly value:
Eating Out vs. Paying the Mortgage vs. Buying Christmas Presents for Kids
What has been remarkable about this whole experience is that I observe different people literally value things differently. I literally know people who continue to "Eat Out" instead of "Paying the Mortgage" and let their house go... and who am I to say they are wrong.
The truth is that for some, if they owe a lot more on their home than what it will be worth in the next 3 to 5 years, and they were stretching to pay the mortgage anyway, they may value peace of mind more than having good credit and just let the house go and then eat out to celebrate finally being free from that millstone of a mortgage around their neck!
Others place such tremendous value on their credit score that they will tap into savings accounts, incur tax penalties by cashing in their 401 K, and paying, paying, paying. For some these decisions may be born of a desire to do what is right, and others literally just love having an excellent credit score.
For me today's blog is not a soapbox.
I don't claim to have a clue about the individual circumstances or value systems of all of the people I deal with... and have found that questioning the value system, integrity or behavior of someone else is unproductive for me... but rather choose to hope that if I were in their shoes I'd do as well as they do.
What I have done to find peace instead is to focus on what I control - my own System of Values...
I had a terrific conversation yesterday with Bryce. This guy is a pillar in the community and a terrific influence on everybody he knows. How fortunate I am to have so many people in my life of such integrity and character. Bryce has been an important sounding board as I have been dealing with some challenging complexities surrounding a deal with a dozen people involved.
He observed related to this deal that if any one of the people in the deal were sitting in the other persons exact position & circumstances, we would likely react almost the exact same way.
It is all good food for thought, and for getting my own Value System a fine tuning.
In the end, whether you believe in God or not, whether you have children and a wife or not, whether you love your friends or are a bit of a lone wolf, or whether you love your career, or just want to make a living so you can live your life, the old value system of 1. God/Church; 2. Family; 3. Career; 4. Friends has to become bigger, better at affecting your behavior... maybe something like this:
1. Do what is right, not what is easy.
2. Do unto others as I hope to have done unto me.
3. Work as hard and as intelligently as I can everyday to provide for my family.
4. Spend as much time as I can with the people I love, doing the things I love.
For anyone who would disagree with leaving God off the list (LOL) I think if I could pull those four things off, he'd be just fine being left off. (For me - he is in #2 and in #4)
What is YOUR Value System?
One of the benefits of a computer language I suppose is that there are rules, and (except in the case of Windows Vista, LOL!) the computer behaves according to the rules.
As people we are by nature, NOT computers. We behave erratically. On a date with a woman once, I told here she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen... instead of feeling complimented - she got very angry. "One of? One of the prettiest? Am I not good enough for you?" she said. I really wished I had just left it at "very pretty" or something. WOW!
It has been said that the true character of people shines through in the toughest of times. In several of my past blogs I have written about my experiences that certainly indicate that is true, and I am so grateful to those people who have shown tremendous character in the recent really tough times.
So in looking at all of these things, I have contemplated the importance of a System of Values that directs us in our behavior. Traditionally, a standard system of values might look something like this:
1. My Family; 2. My Church; 3. My Career; 4. My Friends
Others might feel this is incorrect, and change the order some - usually based upon their own experiences in life, and beliefs, etc.
1. God; 2. Family; 3. Friends; 4. Career
A couple of quick observations before we get to my point with all of this.
First - I believe that most people would SAY that their system of values is similar to those listed above... but in the end it is our behavior that proves what our values truly are.
Second - What a wonderful opportunity tough times give us - to prove our system of values, to test our resolve, and to make us really choose what we believe and value.
Now... on to the real point.
If someone had asked me 2 years ago what my "System of Values" was in the context of this blog, I would have responded very similarly to the systems listed above... God, Family, Etc.
Suddenly I am making Value Based Decisions on a whole slew of other criteria that I had never previously considered:
God vs. Church vs. Faith vs. Jesus Christ
My Family (wife & kids) vs. My Family (mom & dad) vs. My Family (brothers & sisters)
Career (This is its own subcategory)
Stay with Construction vs. Start Something Else
Work for FREE to pay my Subs vs. Work to pay my bills and tell subs they are S.O.L.
Protect my own Credit Score vs. Protect my investors Credit Score vs. Who to protect
Surely along these same lines, many families are struggling with some of these same questions about what they truly value:
Eating Out vs. Paying the Mortgage vs. Buying Christmas Presents for Kids
What has been remarkable about this whole experience is that I observe different people literally value things differently. I literally know people who continue to "Eat Out" instead of "Paying the Mortgage" and let their house go... and who am I to say they are wrong.
The truth is that for some, if they owe a lot more on their home than what it will be worth in the next 3 to 5 years, and they were stretching to pay the mortgage anyway, they may value peace of mind more than having good credit and just let the house go and then eat out to celebrate finally being free from that millstone of a mortgage around their neck!
Others place such tremendous value on their credit score that they will tap into savings accounts, incur tax penalties by cashing in their 401 K, and paying, paying, paying. For some these decisions may be born of a desire to do what is right, and others literally just love having an excellent credit score.
For me today's blog is not a soapbox.
I don't claim to have a clue about the individual circumstances or value systems of all of the people I deal with... and have found that questioning the value system, integrity or behavior of someone else is unproductive for me... but rather choose to hope that if I were in their shoes I'd do as well as they do.
What I have done to find peace instead is to focus on what I control - my own System of Values...
I had a terrific conversation yesterday with Bryce. This guy is a pillar in the community and a terrific influence on everybody he knows. How fortunate I am to have so many people in my life of such integrity and character. Bryce has been an important sounding board as I have been dealing with some challenging complexities surrounding a deal with a dozen people involved.
He observed related to this deal that if any one of the people in the deal were sitting in the other persons exact position & circumstances, we would likely react almost the exact same way.
It is all good food for thought, and for getting my own Value System a fine tuning.
In the end, whether you believe in God or not, whether you have children and a wife or not, whether you love your friends or are a bit of a lone wolf, or whether you love your career, or just want to make a living so you can live your life, the old value system of 1. God/Church; 2. Family; 3. Career; 4. Friends has to become bigger, better at affecting your behavior... maybe something like this:
1. Do what is right, not what is easy.
2. Do unto others as I hope to have done unto me.
3. Work as hard and as intelligently as I can everyday to provide for my family.
4. Spend as much time as I can with the people I love, doing the things I love.
For anyone who would disagree with leaving God off the list (LOL) I think if I could pull those four things off, he'd be just fine being left off. (For me - he is in #2 and in #4)
What is YOUR Value System?
1.04.2009
Announcing 2 New Projects and a Call For HELP Pulling Them Off.
So the other day I sat down with a man named Steve. We met to discuss (among other things) what his resources were, and how he could best use them to accomplish his goals of Financial Freedom.
Keep in mind, my shtick up to now has been either to do Real Estate deals while recruiting Private Equity from those who already have it, OR build a company using exponential duplication to amass time leverage FOR MYSELF.
TRANSLATION: 1. Get my money and other peoples money working for me. 2. Get my time and other peoples time working for me.
As I met with Steve, he spoke about the different avenues he and his wife have explored in years past to improve their life. He explained about the start up and shut down of several businesses and efforts to become free. He expressed frustration at efforts that had yielded undesirable results despite what he felt was a disciplined and consistent effort.
Specifically, Steve described what I understood to be a sort of longing for help... real help in getting both his time and his money under control.
Interestingly, this conversation was not unlike dozens of conversations like this one that I have had in recent months, and probably a hundred or more conversations in recent years... and in several of the conversations, I was the one interviewing those that have more of what I wanted, and searching for knowledge, tools or a system to assist in solving the problem.
As I spoke with Steve, a decision became clearer in my mind to take action in response to his request, and the search of so many others.
I decided that I would start a group, and simultaneously a blog dedicated to teaching principles of Financial Freedom, and other principles critical to individuals success.
The second part of my decision was as simple as the first... if someone is to get a handle on the money stuff... they are going to have to get a handle on a few other things too... including a commitment to live life, contribute to the world, and striving to BE better and make others around them better... so I decided to start another group called America Remix.
So... after a day or so of fiddling around with names for my projects, I landed on AmericaRemix.blogspot.com for the group and the bigger movement. For the project with the exclusively Financial Focus, I picked Not on Trees - Where & How Money Grows. To visit, go to NotOnTrees.Blogspot.com.
I am thrilled and excited to have put in motion projects that I have wanted to begin for a long time... and can think of no better time than now to begin.
As you can imagine I'll certainly need all the help I can get to make both of these projects as valuable as I hope and believe they will become, so PLEASE Contact Me and discuss both of these ideas and how we can work on them together, and stay tuned for more information.
Keep in mind, my shtick up to now has been either to do Real Estate deals while recruiting Private Equity from those who already have it, OR build a company using exponential duplication to amass time leverage FOR MYSELF.
TRANSLATION: 1. Get my money and other peoples money working for me. 2. Get my time and other peoples time working for me.
As I met with Steve, he spoke about the different avenues he and his wife have explored in years past to improve their life. He explained about the start up and shut down of several businesses and efforts to become free. He expressed frustration at efforts that had yielded undesirable results despite what he felt was a disciplined and consistent effort.
Specifically, Steve described what I understood to be a sort of longing for help... real help in getting both his time and his money under control.
Interestingly, this conversation was not unlike dozens of conversations like this one that I have had in recent months, and probably a hundred or more conversations in recent years... and in several of the conversations, I was the one interviewing those that have more of what I wanted, and searching for knowledge, tools or a system to assist in solving the problem.
As I spoke with Steve, a decision became clearer in my mind to take action in response to his request, and the search of so many others.
I decided that I would start a group, and simultaneously a blog dedicated to teaching principles of Financial Freedom, and other principles critical to individuals success.
The second part of my decision was as simple as the first... if someone is to get a handle on the money stuff... they are going to have to get a handle on a few other things too... including a commitment to live life, contribute to the world, and striving to BE better and make others around them better... so I decided to start another group called America Remix.
So... after a day or so of fiddling around with names for my projects, I landed on AmericaRemix.blogspot.com for the group and the bigger movement. For the project with the exclusively Financial Focus, I picked Not on Trees - Where & How Money Grows. To visit, go to NotOnTrees.Blogspot.com.
I am thrilled and excited to have put in motion projects that I have wanted to begin for a long time... and can think of no better time than now to begin.
As you can imagine I'll certainly need all the help I can get to make both of these projects as valuable as I hope and believe they will become, so PLEASE Contact Me and discuss both of these ideas and how we can work on them together, and stay tuned for more information.
1.02.2009
The Sword in the Stone
Allow me to indulge in the telling of a personal story:
The Christmas of my eleventh year my parents bought a van for Christmas (burgundy Ford Econoline with grey velvet seats). As we woke up that morning, they announced Santa had bought us tickets to Disneyland, and off we went... what a great Christmas!
One of those magical days at Disneyland we came upon a large crowd of people and watched as men went through the crowd selecting several strong-looking grown men and leading them up to Merlin the Magician. Each man from the crowd would then attempt to pull King Arthur's Sword from the Stone. (It was an awesome sight for an eleven year old to see!)
After 5 or 6 men had tried and failed to pull out the sword, Merlin announced to the crowd that he knew that it could be pulled out, and that he could sense that somewhere in the crowd was a person worthy to pull the Sword from the Stone. Then Merlin began making his way back and forth through the crowd, pausing in front of different people and looking them in the eye before moving on. To my surprise, the long haired, long bearded Merlin I was watching so intently suddenly stopped when he got to me.
He put his hand on my head and pinched my cheeks, ran his hands through my hair and looked me up and down in a full examination as if to question if I was really the one, and then just as suddenly took me by the hand and pulled me behind him up to the Stone.
I can still picture his face and that long hair. I can still see those round spectacles and picture the crowd looking at me. I can remember them telling me to try to pull that sword out of the stone, and not even knowing what to do... until I finally got it. I was scared, and in shock, and I remember thinking there was no way I could pull that sword out. All those men couldn't even do it.
I can actually remember stepping up and pulling... the sword not moving at first, and then watching as I pulled that Sword out of the Stone! I remember the crowd cheering, and me not even hearing them, or believing my eyes as I looked at the Sword. How did I do that? (I don't think I actually even got it all the way out... it was too long - so they helped me after I pulled it most the way out - and then let me hold it.)
Then it gets fuzzy... but it was incredible. They put a robe on my shoulders and paraded me around... even took the sword and knighted me in front of everyone! I still was just in shock that I had pulled it out.
I am so thankful for that beautiful memory. It is one I will never forget. Thanks Mom & Dad, for taking me to Disneyland! In a way... making kids feel special is what Disneyland - and parents are supposed to do, right?
I still hope I am special - although sometimes I have my doubts. We are all special - and YOU and I can get whatever we want out of life...
I have decided no matter what - I am taking my kids to Disneyland this year.
The Christmas of my eleventh year my parents bought a van for Christmas (burgundy Ford Econoline with grey velvet seats). As we woke up that morning, they announced Santa had bought us tickets to Disneyland, and off we went... what a great Christmas!
One of those magical days at Disneyland we came upon a large crowd of people and watched as men went through the crowd selecting several strong-looking grown men and leading them up to Merlin the Magician. Each man from the crowd would then attempt to pull King Arthur's Sword from the Stone. (It was an awesome sight for an eleven year old to see!)
After 5 or 6 men had tried and failed to pull out the sword, Merlin announced to the crowd that he knew that it could be pulled out, and that he could sense that somewhere in the crowd was a person worthy to pull the Sword from the Stone. Then Merlin began making his way back and forth through the crowd, pausing in front of different people and looking them in the eye before moving on. To my surprise, the long haired, long bearded Merlin I was watching so intently suddenly stopped when he got to me.
He put his hand on my head and pinched my cheeks, ran his hands through my hair and looked me up and down in a full examination as if to question if I was really the one, and then just as suddenly took me by the hand and pulled me behind him up to the Stone.
I can still picture his face and that long hair. I can still see those round spectacles and picture the crowd looking at me. I can remember them telling me to try to pull that sword out of the stone, and not even knowing what to do... until I finally got it. I was scared, and in shock, and I remember thinking there was no way I could pull that sword out. All those men couldn't even do it.
I can actually remember stepping up and pulling... the sword not moving at first, and then watching as I pulled that Sword out of the Stone! I remember the crowd cheering, and me not even hearing them, or believing my eyes as I looked at the Sword. How did I do that? (I don't think I actually even got it all the way out... it was too long - so they helped me after I pulled it most the way out - and then let me hold it.)
Then it gets fuzzy... but it was incredible. They put a robe on my shoulders and paraded me around... even took the sword and knighted me in front of everyone! I still was just in shock that I had pulled it out.
I am so thankful for that beautiful memory. It is one I will never forget. Thanks Mom & Dad, for taking me to Disneyland! In a way... making kids feel special is what Disneyland - and parents are supposed to do, right?
I still hope I am special - although sometimes I have my doubts. We are all special - and YOU and I can get whatever we want out of life...
I have decided no matter what - I am taking my kids to Disneyland this year.
12.29.2008
Pounding Head (A poem by ME)
Pounding head
Fuzzy light
Bulging eyes
Neck so tight...
Follicles of hair
aching bad
Face muscles
I've never had...
Computer screen
Blinding Brain
Squinting forward
lots of pain...
Late night work
Morning coming
Deadline tomorrow
Constant drumming...
Pounding Head
Lousy Week
Just don't care
Going to sleep.
Fuzzy light
Bulging eyes
Neck so tight...
Follicles of hair
aching bad
Face muscles
I've never had...
Computer screen
Blinding Brain
Squinting forward
lots of pain...
Late night work
Morning coming
Deadline tomorrow
Constant drumming...
Pounding Head
Lousy Week
Just don't care
Going to sleep.
No Credit For Victory vs. No Blame or Excuse For Defeat
Allow me to spare those of you who might read this from having to waste time reading a long dissertation about why Blaming and Excuses are a waste. Here is the fact:
BLAMING & EXCUSE MAKING satisfy only those who make the excuses, and rob the excuse makers of the opportunity to learn and progress.
The single most successful businessman and exponential thinker I have ever personally known says regularly, "I will take responsibility for ANY defeat, and NEVER blame or make an excuse... but I will TAKE NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY." (His name is Spencer Hunn, and I WILL give him credit for the quote.)
I intend to focus my blog tonight on the POWER of taking NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY. This topic is sort of similar to not Blaming... but a bit different - it is why you shouldn't "BLAME" yourself when good things happen - but give credit instead to the reasons for your good fortune.
I'm not a "Blame-guy" or an excuse maker. (I'm not talking about giving my wife excuses on why I was late picking my daughter up from school - I am full of those excuses!), but the kind of excuses you give yourself - for not taking a business risk, or blaming the economy for your circumstances or whatever.
I just don't waste time Blaming others and begrudging things when stuff doesn't go my way.
But there is a HUGE weakness I have: I am quick to take credit for victory.
This is not to say that I publicly stand up and tell everyone all the reasons why each time I succeed it is 100% my doing... but inside myself... I am far too quick to give myself credit for victory... and that practice is DANGEROUS. In fact it may be just as dangerous to sustaining success as excuse making or blaming.
Here are some examples:
1. The Real Estate market was SOARING nationally... yet each time Jake completed a profitable transaction, he gave himself credit. (After making a profit on selling a home Jake thought, "I must be one of the smartest people around... this is so easy for me... why doesn't EVERYONE do this?") Jake gave himself far too much credit.
A far more realistic observation might have been, "How fortunate I am to benefit financially from a strong housing market just like EVERYONE else... I am grateful to benefit from good timing. My result is NOT unique. (While those of us who made money in Real Estate might deserve a small amount of credit for capitalizing on an opportunity, the reality is that when the momentum stopped, we were stuck!)
In this case, refusing to allow myself to take credit for a victory might have saved me a lot of losses and heartache.
2. Recently I observed a young man (I'll call him Walter) begin to have modest but quick success in a business venture. In the beginning he made minimal but consistent effort into the business, yet his work quickly multiplied with little effort. Several senior partners in our venture recognized his quick success, and complimented him to give him encouragement. He was awarded with a gold ring for recognition.
Immediately this Walter believed he was the origin of his good fortune in our project. Rather than recognizing the good fortune of his quick success, he took credit, and began to parade his shiny new ring, and believed himself too important to continue his minimal efforts. I believe that Walter was truly talented in the business venture, but gave himself credit too readily... and in little time at all the success that had found him so quickly was gone.
How fortunate for me to be able to observe Walter and his youthful foolishness... because I MYSELF am actually EXACTLY AS FOOLISH... but perhaps only a few years - and missed opportunities wiser.
3. Consider similarly the gambler, who upon entering the Casino promptly wins $1,000 on a hand of Black Jack. However silly it may sound, he truly believes he is "Just Lucky", that somehow, the Casino Gods and statistics do not actually apply to him.
To sum it all up, this type of "TAKING CREDIT FOR VICTORY" is DANGEROUS... because it can rob us of clarity that allows us to reasonably achieve success.
So as one of my New Years Resolutions: Take no credit for victory.
My thanks to Spencer for opening my mind to this important principal and idea: There is power in taking no credit for victory, but instead identifying where the credit really belongs and recognizing it.
BLAMING & EXCUSE MAKING satisfy only those who make the excuses, and rob the excuse makers of the opportunity to learn and progress.
The single most successful businessman and exponential thinker I have ever personally known says regularly, "I will take responsibility for ANY defeat, and NEVER blame or make an excuse... but I will TAKE NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY." (His name is Spencer Hunn, and I WILL give him credit for the quote.)
I intend to focus my blog tonight on the POWER of taking NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY. This topic is sort of similar to not Blaming... but a bit different - it is why you shouldn't "BLAME" yourself when good things happen - but give credit instead to the reasons for your good fortune.
I'm not a "Blame-guy" or an excuse maker. (I'm not talking about giving my wife excuses on why I was late picking my daughter up from school - I am full of those excuses!), but the kind of excuses you give yourself - for not taking a business risk, or blaming the economy for your circumstances or whatever.
I just don't waste time Blaming others and begrudging things when stuff doesn't go my way.
But there is a HUGE weakness I have: I am quick to take credit for victory.
This is not to say that I publicly stand up and tell everyone all the reasons why each time I succeed it is 100% my doing... but inside myself... I am far too quick to give myself credit for victory... and that practice is DANGEROUS. In fact it may be just as dangerous to sustaining success as excuse making or blaming.
Here are some examples:
1. The Real Estate market was SOARING nationally... yet each time Jake completed a profitable transaction, he gave himself credit. (After making a profit on selling a home Jake thought, "I must be one of the smartest people around... this is so easy for me... why doesn't EVERYONE do this?") Jake gave himself far too much credit.
A far more realistic observation might have been, "How fortunate I am to benefit financially from a strong housing market just like EVERYONE else... I am grateful to benefit from good timing. My result is NOT unique. (While those of us who made money in Real Estate might deserve a small amount of credit for capitalizing on an opportunity, the reality is that when the momentum stopped, we were stuck!)
In this case, refusing to allow myself to take credit for a victory might have saved me a lot of losses and heartache.
2. Recently I observed a young man (I'll call him Walter) begin to have modest but quick success in a business venture. In the beginning he made minimal but consistent effort into the business, yet his work quickly multiplied with little effort. Several senior partners in our venture recognized his quick success, and complimented him to give him encouragement. He was awarded with a gold ring for recognition.
Immediately this Walter believed he was the origin of his good fortune in our project. Rather than recognizing the good fortune of his quick success, he took credit, and began to parade his shiny new ring, and believed himself too important to continue his minimal efforts. I believe that Walter was truly talented in the business venture, but gave himself credit too readily... and in little time at all the success that had found him so quickly was gone.
How fortunate for me to be able to observe Walter and his youthful foolishness... because I MYSELF am actually EXACTLY AS FOOLISH... but perhaps only a few years - and missed opportunities wiser.
3. Consider similarly the gambler, who upon entering the Casino promptly wins $1,000 on a hand of Black Jack. However silly it may sound, he truly believes he is "Just Lucky", that somehow, the Casino Gods and statistics do not actually apply to him.
To sum it all up, this type of "TAKING CREDIT FOR VICTORY" is DANGEROUS... because it can rob us of clarity that allows us to reasonably achieve success.
So as one of my New Years Resolutions: Take no credit for victory.
My thanks to Spencer for opening my mind to this important principal and idea: There is power in taking no credit for victory, but instead identifying where the credit really belongs and recognizing it.
Magic Formula Turns Life's Challenges Into Building Blocks
My last post, Challenges become Blessings, Weaknesses become Strengths is sort of a journal entry about some of the more serious life challenges I have been confronted with in the past several months.
I decided while I slept last night, that there must be more to learn from this topic... there must be a FORMULA that can be gleaned from all of this.
Here is what I came up with:
If you had looked at my list several months ago it might have looked something like this:
Step 1. Challenges & Symptoms:
1. Have no money
2. Need to finish building 5 houses
3. Banks refuse to lend money
4. I am not earning any money to pay my bills
5. Homes costing more to build than they will sell for
6. Committed to finish homes, and now I have to find a way to earn a living
7. Investors have all taken a bath in the market
8. Nobody wants to invest in housing
9. Owe the Bank $20,000 per month in interest
10. Some anonymous coward smeared me on a blog
11. Subs don't want to do work for fear of not getting paid
12. Heading into winter
13. Can't afford to employ anyone to help me resolve this mess
14. Everyone I know seems to be blaming me for the problem
15. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I feel like dying!!!
That seems like such a short and simple list compared to all the emotion I felt... but perhaps that is the power of making a list? By creating a list it forces us to consolidate our challenges into concise statements, instead of staying stuck in an emotional quagmire.
Step 2: Personal Responsibility; & Step 3. Ask Empowering Questions:
1. I gotta EARN... "How can I find a way to earn lots of money in a smaller amount of time, and still spend the time I need to deliver on the other promises I have made? (How do I find some "time & money leverage" to create personal income?)
2. Probably can't deliver on all of the promises I have made at once, so I had to prioritize which promises I focus on now, which ones I simply break, and which ones I postpone. (I went to people and gave them the option to wait for me to be ready, to move on without me because I could not deliver at this time, or simply quit altogether. Generally, people appreciated my candor.)
3. I enlisted the help of the banks in ensuring subcontractors that they would get paid for doing the work... this came as a result of asking: Who else wants me to get this work done as much as I do, and would be willing to vouch for what I am doing? The answer was simple - the Bank!
4. What can I do to cut down on the budget, AND ensure the work gets done right, and on time? In order to save money, and get work done, I actually went to work Myself, acting as an assistant to many of the skilled tradesmen on the homes. (My participation in the work allowed the Subs to cut their labor costs, and ensured they would show up to work with me... but there was a HUGE secondary benefit: This created a strong spirit of "teamwork" with some of my Subs, and we all went to work together... sometimes working on things that might normally have been outside of our skill set - like my HVAC guy, my Countertop Guy, and a finish carpenter working side by side with me to do everything from helping the Plumber install toilets and lids to helping the Electrician put cover plates and switches on everything, even down to trash pickup, etc. These subs once enlisted in the cause were even calling their friends and contacts getting them to come help out, and so on! AMAZING!)
5. Stating the challenges AS THEY WERE to my previous equity investors FINALLY helped us draw some "lines in the sand" and move on from a stalemate of "who flinches first". This got some momentum moving forward, and helped us stabilize a deal that should have been resolved back in May.
6. The entire mood of the effort changed... instead of me looking for people to blame, and others following my lead, EVERYONE either checked out completely, or enlisted in the cause... which they could do because they could see and feel that we were on a MISSION!
Step 4 & 5: Learn from others, and TAKE ACTION.
I have eluded already to some of the specific actions that I took, and how sometimes the actions I took yielded a result that was different or better than I intended. In the process there was plenty of calling around and asking what others had done. One specific example of this is a 13 acre piece of ground we had purchased for several million dollars... and was now because of the housing market - worth a fraction of the price we paid. I had read several articles in my favorite Real Estate publication, Builder & Developer Magazine, that encouraged me that more affordable housing was a trend that would stand a chance at survival, and when in a conversation with an officer at my bank he indicated he would support a density change, I immediately took action and began Re-Developing the land we had acquired. Literally we had nearly finished the development as 50 single family lots, but I stopped the construction THAT DAY and began amending the project. We started with increasing the density from 50 to 90, and have proposed versions as high as 225 units... the final unit count is currently around 187... but I definitely learned from others, and took action... and those two concepts have saved the deal.
Step 6: Everything Serves a Purpose Toward the Goal.
I still get bad news every day. An investor withdraws capital or support from a deal, a bank had previously committed to fund payment to subs now has changed its story, new business partners I was excited about opted to go a different direction, or a renter who is helping to cover a mortgage on a home we are carrying loses his job and can't or won't pay rent... all impacting the PLAN. Not too long ago my wife's vehicle was repossessed by the Bank, leaving us with only one car. (This is embarrassing to share, but should help clarify the realities of the situation we are in.) I could have dwelt on the negativity, and seen the glass as half empty... or as half full. The way we both chose to see this was that large SUV's had gone down in value significantly, and that the car was not worth what we were paying on. Now we had a monthly savings of her car payment, the insurance on that vehicle, and other fuel and maintenance costs! Now we had more money to dedicate toward the goals we had... and I have not given it much thought since. (We will surely have to deal with the deficiency and other things, and I completely regret that circumstances have become so dire at times... but all that is left for us to do is keep going!)
Step 7: Repeat.
Now on to new and different challenges! Like "My wife doesn't have a car", LOL! While I am unsure just what these new challenges will be, I am confident that I will face them head on and wind up victorious, because I have done this in the past. And so have you!
I decided while I slept last night, that there must be more to learn from this topic... there must be a FORMULA that can be gleaned from all of this.
Here is what I came up with:
- Identify the Challenge. Spend time REALLY contemplating the Challenge. Is the Challenge simply "Not enough money?" (Everyone I know would claim that challenge - or is "Money" a SYMPTOM of the REAL PROBLEM). It may help to write down the challenges, and then group them if necessary... into Challenges and Symptoms, or groups of challenges. Don't think you can stop at just one! The most difficult challenges come in groups.
- Take ownership of the Challenge. Take personal responsibility for it. No room for blaming others or wasting energy on feeling sorry you have to go through it.
- Ask empowering questions of Yourself. "What would I need to do in order to make more money even though... (INSERT CHALLENGE HERE)." If this step is going to work, you are going to have to BELIEVE that you CAN overcome the challenge.
- Learn from others and ask for help. When mired in the agony of our own challenges this can be the toughest. It is tough to admit to others we are stuck or in need of help... but it is a big world, and there are lots of people who have gone through it before. I would LOVE to expend some of my energy really trying to help someone else untangle a life's challenge! So if you have no else to ask, ASK ME!
- Go to work, while you plan. TAKE ACTION. Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in life come in working, NOT in planning. It is no wonder that the Wright Brothers' very first airplane did not fly... it took dozens of iterations and modifications to finally get one that would work. I have lived this principle if nothing else. My Dad always says that "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, at first".
- EVERYTHING serves a purpose toward your goal. If "More Money" is your problem, and the only thing you can come up with is taking a second job delivering Pizza to earn more money - then listen to personal development books on tape while you drive, and resolve to ASK every person you see who has more of what you want than the people you know how they did it. Then take the information you gain, and re-apply it to your challenge.
- Repeat. Check out my blog on REPETITION = GREATNESS. The simple fact is that setting Goals regularly and working at them will nearly always lead to a more productive life. Carefully managing ones expenses will surely lead to greater financial freedom, and working at ones Challenges will strengthen a person in nearly every way.
If you had looked at my list several months ago it might have looked something like this:
Step 1. Challenges & Symptoms:
1. Have no money
2. Need to finish building 5 houses
3. Banks refuse to lend money
4. I am not earning any money to pay my bills
5. Homes costing more to build than they will sell for
6. Committed to finish homes, and now I have to find a way to earn a living
7. Investors have all taken a bath in the market
8. Nobody wants to invest in housing
9. Owe the Bank $20,000 per month in interest
10. Some anonymous coward smeared me on a blog
11. Subs don't want to do work for fear of not getting paid
12. Heading into winter
13. Can't afford to employ anyone to help me resolve this mess
14. Everyone I know seems to be blaming me for the problem
15. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I feel like dying!!!
That seems like such a short and simple list compared to all the emotion I felt... but perhaps that is the power of making a list? By creating a list it forces us to consolidate our challenges into concise statements, instead of staying stuck in an emotional quagmire.
Step 2: Personal Responsibility; & Step 3. Ask Empowering Questions:
1. I gotta EARN... "How can I find a way to earn lots of money in a smaller amount of time, and still spend the time I need to deliver on the other promises I have made? (How do I find some "time & money leverage" to create personal income?)
2. Probably can't deliver on all of the promises I have made at once, so I had to prioritize which promises I focus on now, which ones I simply break, and which ones I postpone. (I went to people and gave them the option to wait for me to be ready, to move on without me because I could not deliver at this time, or simply quit altogether. Generally, people appreciated my candor.)
3. I enlisted the help of the banks in ensuring subcontractors that they would get paid for doing the work... this came as a result of asking: Who else wants me to get this work done as much as I do, and would be willing to vouch for what I am doing? The answer was simple - the Bank!
4. What can I do to cut down on the budget, AND ensure the work gets done right, and on time? In order to save money, and get work done, I actually went to work Myself, acting as an assistant to many of the skilled tradesmen on the homes. (My participation in the work allowed the Subs to cut their labor costs, and ensured they would show up to work with me... but there was a HUGE secondary benefit: This created a strong spirit of "teamwork" with some of my Subs, and we all went to work together... sometimes working on things that might normally have been outside of our skill set - like my HVAC guy, my Countertop Guy, and a finish carpenter working side by side with me to do everything from helping the Plumber install toilets and lids to helping the Electrician put cover plates and switches on everything, even down to trash pickup, etc. These subs once enlisted in the cause were even calling their friends and contacts getting them to come help out, and so on! AMAZING!)
5. Stating the challenges AS THEY WERE to my previous equity investors FINALLY helped us draw some "lines in the sand" and move on from a stalemate of "who flinches first". This got some momentum moving forward, and helped us stabilize a deal that should have been resolved back in May.
6. The entire mood of the effort changed... instead of me looking for people to blame, and others following my lead, EVERYONE either checked out completely, or enlisted in the cause... which they could do because they could see and feel that we were on a MISSION!
Step 4 & 5: Learn from others, and TAKE ACTION.
I have eluded already to some of the specific actions that I took, and how sometimes the actions I took yielded a result that was different or better than I intended. In the process there was plenty of calling around and asking what others had done. One specific example of this is a 13 acre piece of ground we had purchased for several million dollars... and was now because of the housing market - worth a fraction of the price we paid. I had read several articles in my favorite Real Estate publication, Builder & Developer Magazine, that encouraged me that more affordable housing was a trend that would stand a chance at survival, and when in a conversation with an officer at my bank he indicated he would support a density change, I immediately took action and began Re-Developing the land we had acquired. Literally we had nearly finished the development as 50 single family lots, but I stopped the construction THAT DAY and began amending the project. We started with increasing the density from 50 to 90, and have proposed versions as high as 225 units... the final unit count is currently around 187... but I definitely learned from others, and took action... and those two concepts have saved the deal.
Step 6: Everything Serves a Purpose Toward the Goal.
I still get bad news every day. An investor withdraws capital or support from a deal, a bank had previously committed to fund payment to subs now has changed its story, new business partners I was excited about opted to go a different direction, or a renter who is helping to cover a mortgage on a home we are carrying loses his job and can't or won't pay rent... all impacting the PLAN. Not too long ago my wife's vehicle was repossessed by the Bank, leaving us with only one car. (This is embarrassing to share, but should help clarify the realities of the situation we are in.) I could have dwelt on the negativity, and seen the glass as half empty... or as half full. The way we both chose to see this was that large SUV's had gone down in value significantly, and that the car was not worth what we were paying on. Now we had a monthly savings of her car payment, the insurance on that vehicle, and other fuel and maintenance costs! Now we had more money to dedicate toward the goals we had... and I have not given it much thought since. (We will surely have to deal with the deficiency and other things, and I completely regret that circumstances have become so dire at times... but all that is left for us to do is keep going!)
Step 7: Repeat.
Now on to new and different challenges! Like "My wife doesn't have a car", LOL! While I am unsure just what these new challenges will be, I am confident that I will face them head on and wind up victorious, because I have done this in the past. And so have you!
12.28.2008
Challenges become Blessings, Weaknesses become Strengths
There can be no doubt that 2008 has been a year of Challenges and Weaknesses.
Generally, weakness in the economy and the failings of companies large and small, and many leadership weaknesses, from myself personally to governmental leadership shortfalls, to bank execs, and more, we are set to jettison the past year with abundant examples of Weakness...
All of this weakness has of course spelled a year of Challenges for all of us. Millions have watched as retirement funds shriveled to record lows. Many of us sheltered by the once warm-and-fuzzy comfort of knowing we had a Home Equity Line of Credit we could tap in a time of need have alarmingly been put on notice that these "Reserves" are frozen by the bank, meaning (say it isn't so!) we are relegated to financing our not-so-awesome Financial Year's Holiday Season with CASH or perhaps nothing at all... We can all agree that Challenges have abounded, and many as a result of Weakness on our own part, or that of others.
How Grateful I am that these two things are inseparably connected!
There is salvation in the connectedness of Weakness and Challenges. Consider the following evolution: Weaknesses become Challenges, which command our Focus & Energy, which in time begets Time & Effort, which creates the Overcoming of Challenges, which leads to Strength and Efficiency.
In fact, I believe that this cycle, when combined with God's inspiration and a spirit of willing work and lack of blaming can be attributed to every major accomplishment Man has ever developed. Consider the following:
Heavy Rock in Field commands a solution, and "Viola" we have the Lever & Wheel. Lever & Wheel are refined and set to work to become Wheel & Axel, which become Wagon and Gears, which become Steam Engine which becomes Locomotives, Cars and so on, and the rest is history... from the Panama Canal to the Empire State Building... and look at all we can do now! (Although I still refuse to shovel my driveway)
Around October this year, I decided that I would complete a home I have been building for 2 years... and complete it before Christmas NO MATTER WHAT. I went to work, and while other important priorities (such as this Blog) may have slipped in the process, I am thrilled to say that on December 19th, 2008... it was FINISHED! FINALLY!!!
My late-year 2008 challenge was to find a way in a lousy economy to finish the house I was building full time, keep pushing forward on many of my other critical Real Estate projects and objectives, continue supporting a fledgling new business I'm working on, and still find a way to provide financially for my family, and have the means to pay for Christmas. While I fully believe that each family has been confronted with their very own "Tall Order" of things to do... this collection of tasks seemed to me to be a nearly insurmountable.
As I attempted to zero-in on a game plan, I really felt that just finishing the house alone could easily require 12 hours per day... in fact every one of these objectives could require a full time effort. I had 4 or 5 projects that would demand my full-time attention, not just one. All I could do was resolve to work on all of them, and give every day my very best... and that is exactly what I did.
Many intriguing truths revealed themselves to me throughout this process. One stand-out is that I had no one to blame for the mess but myself... so I was empowered to take complete and total personal responsibility. (What a blessing!)
I knew that any time spent complaining about or blaming "The economy", "lack of funds" , "being exhausted", or "investors pulling the rug out from underneath me" would in the end, not create the result I had decided I would generate. I simply could not afford to spare one eating or sleeping, much less to blaming... and this sort of singularity of purpose became my sanity in the last 3 months!
Literally, EVERYTHING in my world became one of two things: Either 1) A building block by which I could accomplish my nearly-impossible task, or 2) A hindrance to the very same task.
I found a freedom in calling people and explaining what I was going to accomplish and then in asking them if they could help in the work. I was simply sorting between those who doubted or did not support or believe in my cause, and replacing them as quickly as possible with those who could, or would.
Of course there were times late at night, when I was the only person who could be fully enlisted in the goal, so I would work late into the night, alone just working to complete the goal. Other times, my willingness to do the work myself inspired other to work beyond their usual limits of 5 or 6 o'clock at night to stay later and help me finish.
I have even had several occasions recently when I was in need where I even went back to the naysayers for help, and I was able to extract some help from them as they could see my goal getting closer to reality.
I owe a very special debt of gratitude to my wife, my Parents, Troy, Terry, Gabriel, AJ & Justin, Ron, Jay, Rick, Burt, and Curt for getting on board with my goals over the past couple of months and helping me see these things through!
I am so grateful that in the process of getting more done in a short period of time than I ever thought possible, I feel like even more was accomplished than what was intended. In the process of all of this, not only were my goals accomplished, but I feel I lived what it means to have a Challenge become a Blessing, and Weaknesses become some of my Strengths.
I am so grateful for the direction of God in the process. There have been dozens of specific circumstances where I have felt I was literally led or directed to find the very last box of whatever I needed to finish the house, or say just the right thing to a bank officer to have them hang tough with my group so I could rally my equity team.
Through these small but simple serendipities or coincidences, I find nothing "miraculous" in the accomplishment itself. I truly believe that ANY person could have done the same work - or better in less time. The miraculous part of this experience has been its effect on me.
The reality has been that in my life, all of the Challenges that seemed so insurmountable were not... but I feel stronger and better for having gone through them. The challenges have presented me with the opportunity to confront the weaknesses uniquely mine, and get stronger as a result, and having done both and overcome what was just months ago so daunting, is extremely gratifying... and for me - a little life miracle.
So now I embark upon the New Year with feelings of renewed energy and spirit. I carry feelings of loyalty, gratitude and indebtedness to those who have stood by me through so much adversity and who have worked with me at my tasks as I have worked at theirs. I embark the New Year with continued resolve to improve who I am, and to chase my dreams.
I am appreciative of the opportunity to be a Husband, Father, Brother, Son, Friend, and Person living in this world full of so many Challenges and Blessings!
Generally, weakness in the economy and the failings of companies large and small, and many leadership weaknesses, from myself personally to governmental leadership shortfalls, to bank execs, and more, we are set to jettison the past year with abundant examples of Weakness...
All of this weakness has of course spelled a year of Challenges for all of us. Millions have watched as retirement funds shriveled to record lows. Many of us sheltered by the once warm-and-fuzzy comfort of knowing we had a Home Equity Line of Credit we could tap in a time of need have alarmingly been put on notice that these "Reserves" are frozen by the bank, meaning (say it isn't so!) we are relegated to financing our not-so-awesome Financial Year's Holiday Season with CASH or perhaps nothing at all... We can all agree that Challenges have abounded, and many as a result of Weakness on our own part, or that of others.
How Grateful I am that these two things are inseparably connected!
There is salvation in the connectedness of Weakness and Challenges. Consider the following evolution: Weaknesses become Challenges, which command our Focus & Energy, which in time begets Time & Effort, which creates the Overcoming of Challenges, which leads to Strength and Efficiency.
In fact, I believe that this cycle, when combined with God's inspiration and a spirit of willing work and lack of blaming can be attributed to every major accomplishment Man has ever developed. Consider the following:
Heavy Rock in Field commands a solution, and "Viola" we have the Lever & Wheel. Lever & Wheel are refined and set to work to become Wheel & Axel, which become Wagon and Gears, which become Steam Engine which becomes Locomotives, Cars and so on, and the rest is history... from the Panama Canal to the Empire State Building... and look at all we can do now! (Although I still refuse to shovel my driveway)
Around October this year, I decided that I would complete a home I have been building for 2 years... and complete it before Christmas NO MATTER WHAT. I went to work, and while other important priorities (such as this Blog) may have slipped in the process, I am thrilled to say that on December 19th, 2008... it was FINISHED! FINALLY!!!
My late-year 2008 challenge was to find a way in a lousy economy to finish the house I was building full time, keep pushing forward on many of my other critical Real Estate projects and objectives, continue supporting a fledgling new business I'm working on, and still find a way to provide financially for my family, and have the means to pay for Christmas. While I fully believe that each family has been confronted with their very own "Tall Order" of things to do... this collection of tasks seemed to me to be a nearly insurmountable.
As I attempted to zero-in on a game plan, I really felt that just finishing the house alone could easily require 12 hours per day... in fact every one of these objectives could require a full time effort. I had 4 or 5 projects that would demand my full-time attention, not just one. All I could do was resolve to work on all of them, and give every day my very best... and that is exactly what I did.
Many intriguing truths revealed themselves to me throughout this process. One stand-out is that I had no one to blame for the mess but myself... so I was empowered to take complete and total personal responsibility. (What a blessing!)
I knew that any time spent complaining about or blaming "The economy", "lack of funds" , "being exhausted", or "investors pulling the rug out from underneath me" would in the end, not create the result I had decided I would generate. I simply could not afford to spare one eating or sleeping, much less to blaming... and this sort of singularity of purpose became my sanity in the last 3 months!
Literally, EVERYTHING in my world became one of two things: Either 1) A building block by which I could accomplish my nearly-impossible task, or 2) A hindrance to the very same task.
I found a freedom in calling people and explaining what I was going to accomplish and then in asking them if they could help in the work. I was simply sorting between those who doubted or did not support or believe in my cause, and replacing them as quickly as possible with those who could, or would.
Of course there were times late at night, when I was the only person who could be fully enlisted in the goal, so I would work late into the night, alone just working to complete the goal. Other times, my willingness to do the work myself inspired other to work beyond their usual limits of 5 or 6 o'clock at night to stay later and help me finish.
I have even had several occasions recently when I was in need where I even went back to the naysayers for help, and I was able to extract some help from them as they could see my goal getting closer to reality.
I owe a very special debt of gratitude to my wife, my Parents, Troy, Terry, Gabriel, AJ & Justin, Ron, Jay, Rick, Burt, and Curt for getting on board with my goals over the past couple of months and helping me see these things through!
I am so grateful that in the process of getting more done in a short period of time than I ever thought possible, I feel like even more was accomplished than what was intended. In the process of all of this, not only were my goals accomplished, but I feel I lived what it means to have a Challenge become a Blessing, and Weaknesses become some of my Strengths.
I am so grateful for the direction of God in the process. There have been dozens of specific circumstances where I have felt I was literally led or directed to find the very last box of whatever I needed to finish the house, or say just the right thing to a bank officer to have them hang tough with my group so I could rally my equity team.
Through these small but simple serendipities or coincidences, I find nothing "miraculous" in the accomplishment itself. I truly believe that ANY person could have done the same work - or better in less time. The miraculous part of this experience has been its effect on me.
The reality has been that in my life, all of the Challenges that seemed so insurmountable were not... but I feel stronger and better for having gone through them. The challenges have presented me with the opportunity to confront the weaknesses uniquely mine, and get stronger as a result, and having done both and overcome what was just months ago so daunting, is extremely gratifying... and for me - a little life miracle.
So now I embark upon the New Year with feelings of renewed energy and spirit. I carry feelings of loyalty, gratitude and indebtedness to those who have stood by me through so much adversity and who have worked with me at my tasks as I have worked at theirs. I embark the New Year with continued resolve to improve who I am, and to chase my dreams.
I am appreciative of the opportunity to be a Husband, Father, Brother, Son, Friend, and Person living in this world full of so many Challenges and Blessings!
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