No Credit For Victory vs. No Blame or Excuse For Defeat

Allow me to spare those of you who might read this from having to waste time reading a long dissertation about why Blaming and Excuses are a waste. Here is the fact:

BLAMING & EXCUSE MAKING satisfy only those who make the excuses, and rob the excuse makers of the opportunity to learn and progress.

The single most successful businessman and exponential thinker I have ever personally known says regularly, "I will take responsibility for ANY defeat, and NEVER blame or make an excuse... but I will TAKE NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY." (His name is Spencer Hunn, and I WILL give him credit for the quote.)

I intend to focus my blog tonight on the POWER of taking NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY. This topic is sort of similar to not Blaming... but a bit different - it is why you shouldn't "BLAME" yourself when good things happen - but give credit instead to the reasons for your good fortune.

I'm not a "Blame-guy" or an excuse maker. (I'm not talking about giving my wife excuses on why I was late picking my daughter up from school - I am full of those excuses!), but the kind of excuses you give yourself - for not taking a business risk, or blaming the economy for your circumstances or whatever.

I just don't waste time Blaming others and begrudging things when stuff doesn't go my way.

But there is a HUGE weakness I have: I am quick to take credit for victory.

This is not to say that I publicly stand up and tell everyone all the reasons why each time I succeed it is 100% my doing... but inside myself... I am far too quick to give myself credit for victory... and that practice is DANGEROUS. In fact it may be just as dangerous to sustaining success as excuse making or blaming.

Here are some examples:

1. The Real Estate market was SOARING nationally... yet each time Jake completed a profitable transaction, he gave himself credit. (After making a profit on selling a home Jake thought, "I must be one of the smartest people around... this is so easy for me... why doesn't EVERYONE do this?") Jake gave himself far too much credit.

A far more realistic observation might have been, "How fortunate I am to benefit financially from a strong housing market just like EVERYONE else... I am grateful to benefit from good timing. My result is NOT unique. (While those of us who made money in Real Estate might deserve a small amount of credit for capitalizing on an opportunity, the reality is that when the momentum stopped, we were stuck!)

In this case, refusing to allow myself to take credit for a victory might have saved me a lot of losses and heartache.

2. Recently I observed a young man (I'll call him Walter) begin to have modest but quick success in a business venture. In the beginning he made minimal but consistent effort into the business, yet his work quickly multiplied with little effort. Several senior partners in our venture recognized his quick success, and complimented him to give him encouragement. He was awarded with a gold ring for recognition.

Immediately this Walter believed he was the origin of his good fortune in our project. Rather than recognizing the good fortune of his quick success, he took credit, and began to parade his shiny new ring, and believed himself too important to continue his minimal efforts. I believe that Walter was truly talented in the business venture, but gave himself credit too readily... and in little time at all the success that had found him so quickly was gone.

How fortunate for me to be able to observe Walter and his youthful foolishness... because I MYSELF am actually EXACTLY AS FOOLISH... but perhaps only a few years - and missed opportunities wiser.

3. Consider similarly the gambler, who upon entering the Casino promptly wins $1,000 on a hand of Black Jack. However silly it may sound, he truly believes he is "Just Lucky", that somehow, the Casino Gods and statistics do not actually apply to him.


To sum it all up, this type of "TAKING CREDIT FOR VICTORY" is DANGEROUS... because it can rob us of clarity that allows us to reasonably achieve success.

So as one of my New Years Resolutions: Take no credit for victory.

My thanks to Spencer for opening my mind to this important principal and idea: There is power in taking no credit for victory, but instead identifying where the credit really belongs and recognizing it.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

Allow me to credit Bryan Miller for first introducing me to this poem. It has given me a lot.

There are many parts of this poem that could be discussed... but as a piece of art, I'll leave it with you and let it stand alone. I encourage you to read it often and give yourself time to contemplate it and let it inspire you into action!

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Through the Forbidden Valley, Over the Perilous Pass, Around the Swamp of Solitude, and Into the Belly of the BEAST!!!

Every great story of an incredible journey must have adversity, Right?

So if you ever find yourself stuck where I am - up to my eyeballs in adversity, I guess you just remind yourself about that.

Frodo Baggins kept on walking. Despite all odds, that little fuzzy-footed foot soldier would not quit. He put one foot in front of the other all the way to Mordor. (Spelling of Tolkien names is not under warranty)

Yesterday, I finally finished a critical task I had been working on for 3 months. As a result, I was going to be able to free up a little bit of money from a bank to pass on to subcontractors to whom I owe an unbearable amount of money. Bear in mind, I was far from done, but my whole heart had sort of brightened at the idea of being able to give some people something.

I don't care to bore with too much detail, but the funds were Frozen. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Upon hearing the news, I was off to the races. Calls from my cell phone were flying to the bank, my attorney, subs who I had written checks, my wife to tell her I was not on the way home to spend time with my children after all...

Disaster had struck.

What do you do when the one thread of hope you have been hanging on to for the last 3 months is clipped as casually as my 3-year old daughter knocking over a glass of newly poured milk? I guess you just stand there in disbelief.

That is in fact what I did yesterday. Stood there as if looking down on the milk - now dripping from the counter onto her clothes, seat, and the floor - and feel sorry for myself.

Where was Staples with their fricking "Easy Button" now?

So not by choice, I'm forced to take a night to think about it... What does all of this mean?

From the $700 Billion bailout in Washington D.C. to the loans that I got and maybe shouldn't have, to the loans I helped other people get who are now living the same mess as me, to the subcontractors who did the work and can't pay the suppliers, to the suppliers who can't repay loans to the banks for the losses, and all of our employees we've let go who now can't find work or pay their mortgages, just like I can't pay my mortgage...

Back when money was more abundant in my life, and my ego abounded (not necessarily a happier time, just a time when I was more stymied by illusions of success due to my own skill as a business man, and the resulting imbalance in life's priorities), I used to think the legacy I would leave behind to my children was that they could do anything they dreamed of.

My children would sit captivated as I told them stories of slaying mighty "mean Dragons" while I rode triumphantly on my "nice Dragon" who brought me my sword. I think for about a week, they were pretty convinced Dragons were really real.

I wanted to start a little thing called "Dragons Live". An organization, charity, foundation... or maybe just a children's book - but something dedicated to letting kids know that they can make their very own dreams come true.

Needless to say - that has not gone very far. (nowhere)

What has happened is that I have achieved a quiet confidence knowing that I, like Frodo - can keep going.

I will be forced to - in my own realm, "go through the Forbidden Valley, over the Poisonous Pass, around the Swamp of Solitude, and Into the Belly of the BEAST, just as Frodo was.

Just as my parents were - and are. Just as whoever is reading this blog must do.

I imagine that these desperate times, when we can't make it any farther, and the last strand of hope has been cut - are some of the times that Jesus Christ experienced on our behalf in his Atonement in Gethsemane.

He too, had a path to walk that could be walked by none other. He went as far as He could go on His own, and then was broken.

Even then, He placed one foot in front of the other as He faced Pilate, then Herod, then Pilate again. He even climbed Calvary with the help of the man who carried His cross.

By no means am I a martyr as He was, and by no means holy.

I hoped to gain a profit, and gain wealth and worldly accolades. For the record, I tried my best to do it the right way - but in the end, I too have been broken.

So what incredible adventure in life would be so without a breaking point?

I guess this is the essence of this blog, for me. Climbing Everest for Sir Edmund Hillary was no meager accomplishment. Only HE could do it for himself. As it is with a Marathon (I suppose, mine comes next year).

While hundreds of people have climbed Everest, and hundreds of thousands complete marathons and other remarkable feats of strength and endurance each year... it is the accomplishment of each individual for themselves that is miraculous.

To finish any such task a goal must be set, and one foot placed in front of the next in succession until the task is finished. I suspect that in the process - each person must push past the barriers that would hold them back, like the Swamp, or the Valley, or the "Belly of the Beast".

Relative to my own life's calamity: I will wake up tomorrow. Get dressed. Skip the bowl of cereal as I almost always do. Kiss my kids & wife, and keep trying.

I hope that you will join me!

P.S. FUNNY SCARY DOOR LINK COMING SOON WHEN I FIND IT

Amerigo Vespucci vs. Christopher Columbus

Waking up early doesn't happen enough... but when it does I try and let it lead me.

One of the friends that has been a true inspiration to me is Bryan. When we met we shared a cynical disdain for accepting life for what it gives us. Both of us seemed to be searching for some answers to life's most important questions:

1. Who am I?
2. Who is God, really and where do I stand with him?
3. What am I going to do when I grow up?

Bryan has been an inspiration because he has pursued the answers with seemingly greater commitment than I. (Grant me an 8 month offset for a financial meltdown, and he is still ahead in the race.)

I'll blog another time about the importance of surrounding ourselves with people that will make us better... this whole intro is actually intended to lead into my topic: Amerigo Vespucci vs. Christopher Columbus.

It all started when Bryan created a list of 17 goals he would accomplish. There is no question in my mind that he will accomplish all of them. One night at the gym he recited all 17 goals to me, and I was (as I often am by my friends) inspired once again.

It is far from my place to list HIS goals, but since I have adopted a handful of them as my own, I will name 3 of the goals I adopted.

1. To walk 50 miles in 20 hours or less.
2. To complete the Mongol Rally.
3. To run a full Marathon.

Each of these goals deserves a Blog all its own.

I am very proud to say that #1 (Walk 50 miles in 1 day) is DONE! That is right, I was a participant with Bryan, Mya, Ken, Heather, Cherie, Phil, Jason & Charlie in the first ever PROTOSA. This blog may be the first ever public online record of the event which was founded by Bryan Miller.

We walked 50 Miles (actual mileage probably more like 52+/-) from the Provo Temple, to the Salt Lake Temple. I will blog about this later, but it was an incredible and unforgettable life experience. I can not wait to do it again next year.

#2 on the list of goals adopted from Bryan is the Mongol Rally.

A quick overview of the rally: Participants drive (for charity) from London to Mongolia in a car with no greater than a 1 Liter engine, and have an adventure of a lifetime along the way. Visit the website and read about it!

Excitement to participate in this event is an understatement. Thoughts of the Mongol Rally have flooded my subconscious for several weeks. I have spent more than an hour on multiple occasions visiting Google and looking over different routes that might be selected. Thoughts about the vehicles we will drive, what might happen, countries to visit, I've even pictured myself coming home to my wife and kids... all kinds of things.

In the course of contemplating, discussing and planning these seemingly ostentatious and would-be self centered undertakings Bryan discovered another incredible adventure, called LONG WAY ROUND.

Ewan McGregor and 3 Friends simply decided to ride their motorcycles nearly around the world, and document the trip. They travel from London across Europe into Asia across Russia, driving North and literally crossing from Russia to Alaska. They finish by driving from Alaska through Canada, the U.S. and finally end in New York City. INCREDIBLE

This has awakened my mind to ideas I have not had since I was learning about Christopher Columbus and Amerigo Vespucci in the 8th Grade.

So when I woke up early, I had dreamed of a route around the world that I would drive. I would play COPY CAT cat to Ewan McGregor and his pals, and plot a route all my own. I dreamed of Amerigo Vespucci and Christopher Columbus.

Consider these thought for a moment: Christopher Columbus was the first, and greatest explorer. He risked all. He discovered the New World.

So what about the rest of the explorers, like Amerigo Vespucci? Were they not just COPY CATS themselves? Once the New World was discovered, what else was there but to copy? Did'nt these explorers literally attempt to copy Columbus?

Haven't I, literally done nothing more than copy Bryan for his goals?

So this pondering sets the stage for where my brain was at when I fell asleep.

Upon waking I had dreamed about my route around the world. I had dreamed of Columbus & Amerigo Vespucci. So I woke up and googled Vespucci and found the following article. What a fun and interesting article about how How America Got It's Name. I encourage you to read it when you have time:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/magazine/02wwln-lede-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

So now that I have had a day to reflect on these thoughts, and how they may (or may not) relate to my quest to become great, please allow me to conclude:

Great men often mimic, even copy the great actions of other great men.

This "Copy Cat" behavior may seem at first to be less than inspiring to the sideline observer... but contemplated it. Did Abraham Lincoln not read and study the works of George Washington? Can we suppose that Michael Jordan did not aspire to some day reach the level of Dr. J, and some of the other Greats? How many incredible parents have become so because they were emulating their own parents or grandparents... etc.

I don't believe that it is a venture outside the realm of probability to say that Columbus himself aspired to be like some other great hero sailor/explorer of his time.

So in my quest to climb this everest... I will try to be like Bryan. I'll even take some of his goals as my very own. In the end if we walk 50 miles together, it is an accomplishment that still required me to put one foot in front of the other until I had finished, as it did him.

I will gladly work someone else's idea, and try to improve upon it for my own. I will seek knowledge and understanding from the teachings and lessons of other teachers, and simultaneously attempt to share what I am learning in my own way with others...

These actions alone surely do not GREATNESS make - but they probably don't hurt our chances either.

After all - consider Vespucci's outcome:

Christopher Columbus has now and will always have international renown. Every school child makes the little Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria out of construction paper. Every person in America can recite "in fourteen hundred and ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue" and so on. I've always been inspired by Columbus. He is celebrated all over the world. Each year Columbus has his very own day, and we revere him.

But for Vespucci you have to admit - having a little continent named America be named after YOU is a pretty remarkable accomplishment.

P.S. If anyone knows the name of the very first explorer to sail all the way around the world, please let me know.