Living Without

If you ever want to appreciate something, try living without it for awhile!

Recently I went 1 week without internet access (except on my phone)... what a frustrating feeling of being disconnected!

More significantly, every time I travel or am away from my beautiful wife and children for several days, I am overcome by the sense of missing them, of anticipating seeing them, and when I finally do it is like a treasure. I a love to observe how quickly my children grow. My second youngest daughter is four. She told me yesterday about the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" and she said, "that movie is hilarious Dad, you HAVE to see it!" Something about the way she said the word hilarious caught me off guard, and nearly brought me to my knees... my children are growing up!

Imagine a world where just a few of the things that are a part of your normal life are now GONE. What if you were suddenly forced to live without hot water, or heat in your house? Okay - those are pretty big ones. What about living without a Washer and Dryer? Would you hand-scrub and hang your clothes? Or are you simply confronted with the inconvenience and expense of heading to the Laundry? What if you had to go a week or two without your car, or a day without your cell phone! What if you couldn't reach your family and friends - anybody for a whole day, a month or a year?

The other day I went to traffic court - and plead guilty to a speeding ticket (10 over). While in the courtroom, I waited as the Judge met with about 10 individuals who had been in jail. Some for a few nights, and some for several months or even a year. As I observed these people, I felt something. I imagined what it must be like to be alone in there. This made me very uncomfortable.

This was an important opportunity for me to reflect on all of the things I am the most grateful for in life... and also think about all of the little things I would appreciate if faced with a similar circumstance: A hot meal, a car to drive, internet access, the ability to work to provide for my family, and I thought about each member of my family... all of the things I would miss most, along with all the things I plan to do as I continue to be a part of their lives.

There is a travesty in this principle! Why is it that many people get caught in the trap of taking things for granted? How is it that too often we must lose something in order to value and appreciate it as we should?

As I listened to the conversations these prisoners conducted with the Judge. Each one seemed to promise reform... convey to the judge a commitment to do better, and to be more. As I sat there... I could not help but wonder, "Am I any different?".

The answer is YES! I choose to be different.

As I reflected, I concluded that generally most people react similarly. Once we lose things, we start to appreciate them. In that way perhaps we are all alike. Most people are more worried about the things they don't have, than they are grateful for what they have. Here are two more important things I believe can set us apart from being caught in the trap:

1. TIME & DISCIPLINE (Patience). If I will choose - be WILLING to live without a luxury or comfort for a period of time, appreciating the value of it, and choosing to sacrifice it for today with the hope of finding even greater appreciation and more joy after the period of sacrifice, I AM different than someone who simply loses things and then regrets the loss.

When I cam home from living in Germany I bought a car I loved with the help of a friend. It was a nice car (in my opinion) but it had no CD player at all. I can remember being encouraged by several people to buy the CD player, get "A system" and deck it out - but I was willing to wait. I worked hard to save money and pay the car off. I saved much of my money to get a down payment on a condo, and buy my wife a wedding ring. Every purchase I made at that stage in my life was rewarding because I waited, worked, and truly considered each choice, and when I made a decision I made a decision based on value, and not immediate gratification.

Somehow and at some point, I regret to admit that I lost track of this character trait. I become egotistical, and had to HAVE to be happy, instead of being willing to work to BE happy within myself. Hidden in the negative pattern I am describing is the second secret to being different:

2. A GOAL GREATER THAN MYSELF. At the heart of MISSING something is a longing for something or someone that we seek for. What is it we seek? A car, more money, all of these luxuries, in their very nature SERVE ME.

What if instead of LONGING for, or SEEKING for a luxury, our seeking is focused on SERVICE, LOVE, PROVIDING. This simple shift is the difference between me working hard at my business to gain success and conquest, and working to PROVIDE. If providing is truly what I seek then when I accomplish it - I am filled with joy and satisfaction, instead of a desire to have MORE, MORE, and MORE conquest.

So the next question for me is SUSTAINING the correct goals. One of the most difficult things in the world is to SUSTAIN. I blogged about this topic last year when I wrote about REPETITION = GREATNESS. In that post I committed to write this blog. While I have come to realize that blogging SEVERAL times per week may not be in line with my priorities, I will continue to post... because that is the essence of SUSTAINING.

Perhaps the only thing I have learned relative to being able to sustain an effort, and keep it going is to have a GREATER PURPOSE IN LIFE. To set for ourselves a GOAL that fills every inch of our hearts and minds. For me the goal is clear... and big enough that despite any amount of adversity, the goal burns in my heart and moves me to walk toward it. Unfortunately, it took the collapse of the economy, and the subsequent collapse of my ego to recognize the importance of this goal that I had lost track of, or put on the back burner to my conquest... and to recognize some of the safeguards or habits that I either chose never to form because I believed myself too strong, or that falsely believed I could get by without.

In response to this post, please consider something that you take for granted, that living without would turn your entire world upside down... and commit NOT to take it for granted.

And go find that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG GOAL that is the one thing you want most. And then, if you are serious about it, try LIVING WITHOUT something you love or enjoy for awhile until you progress toward your goal. My guess is that if you are unwilling to go without for awhile, either your goal is not really your goal, or you are not ready to do what it takes to achieve it.