A friend Steve Lloyd and I recently connected on Linked In. He is one of the most brilliant software developers around. On his profile he talks about the simplicity of computer languages - and the similarities they have to other languages.
One of the benefits of a computer language I suppose is that there are rules, and (except in the case of Windows Vista, LOL!) the computer behaves according to the rules.
As people we are by nature, NOT computers. We behave erratically. On a date with a woman once, I told here she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen... instead of feeling complimented - she got very angry. "One of? One of the prettiest? Am I not good enough for you?" she said. I really wished I had just left it at "very pretty" or something. WOW!
It has been said that the true character of people shines through in the toughest of times. In several of my past blogs I have written about my experiences that certainly indicate that is true, and I am so grateful to those people who have shown tremendous character in the recent really tough times.
So in looking at all of these things, I have contemplated the importance of a System of Values that directs us in our behavior. Traditionally, a standard system of values might look something like this:
1. My Family; 2. My Church; 3. My Career; 4. My Friends
Others might feel this is incorrect, and change the order some - usually based upon their own experiences in life, and beliefs, etc.
1. God; 2. Family; 3. Friends; 4. Career
A couple of quick observations before we get to my point with all of this.
First - I believe that most people would SAY that their system of values is similar to those listed above... but in the end it is our behavior that proves what our values truly are.
Second - What a wonderful opportunity tough times give us - to prove our system of values, to test our resolve, and to make us really choose what we believe and value.
Now... on to the real point.
If someone had asked me 2 years ago what my "System of Values" was in the context of this blog, I would have responded very similarly to the systems listed above... God, Family, Etc.
Suddenly I am making Value Based Decisions on a whole slew of other criteria that I had never previously considered:
God vs. Church vs. Faith vs. Jesus Christ
My Family (wife & kids) vs. My Family (mom & dad) vs. My Family (brothers & sisters)
Career (This is its own subcategory)
Stay with Construction vs. Start Something Else
Work for FREE to pay my Subs vs. Work to pay my bills and tell subs they are S.O.L.
Protect my own Credit Score vs. Protect my investors Credit Score vs. Who to protect
Surely along these same lines, many families are struggling with some of these same questions about what they truly value:
Eating Out vs. Paying the Mortgage vs. Buying Christmas Presents for Kids
What has been remarkable about this whole experience is that I observe different people literally value things differently. I literally know people who continue to "Eat Out" instead of "Paying the Mortgage" and let their house go... and who am I to say they are wrong.
The truth is that for some, if they owe a lot more on their home than what it will be worth in the next 3 to 5 years, and they were stretching to pay the mortgage anyway, they may value peace of mind more than having good credit and just let the house go and then eat out to celebrate finally being free from that millstone of a mortgage around their neck!
Others place such tremendous value on their credit score that they will tap into savings accounts, incur tax penalties by cashing in their 401 K, and paying, paying, paying. For some these decisions may be born of a desire to do what is right, and others literally just love having an excellent credit score.
For me today's blog is not a soapbox.
I don't claim to have a clue about the individual circumstances or value systems of all of the people I deal with... and have found that questioning the value system, integrity or behavior of someone else is unproductive for me... but rather choose to hope that if I were in their shoes I'd do as well as they do.
What I have done to find peace instead is to focus on what I control - my own System of Values...
I had a terrific conversation yesterday with Bryce. This guy is a pillar in the community and a terrific influence on everybody he knows. How fortunate I am to have so many people in my life of such integrity and character. Bryce has been an important sounding board as I have been dealing with some challenging complexities surrounding a deal with a dozen people involved.
He observed related to this deal that if any one of the people in the deal were sitting in the other persons exact position & circumstances, we would likely react almost the exact same way.
It is all good food for thought, and for getting my own Value System a fine tuning.
In the end, whether you believe in God or not, whether you have children and a wife or not, whether you love your friends or are a bit of a lone wolf, or whether you love your career, or just want to make a living so you can live your life, the old value system of 1. God/Church; 2. Family; 3. Career; 4. Friends has to become bigger, better at affecting your behavior... maybe something like this:
1. Do what is right, not what is easy.
2. Do unto others as I hope to have done unto me.
3. Work as hard and as intelligently as I can everyday to provide for my family.
4. Spend as much time as I can with the people I love, doing the things I love.
For anyone who would disagree with leaving God off the list (LOL) I think if I could pull those four things off, he'd be just fine being left off. (For me - he is in #2 and in #4)
What is YOUR Value System?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment