The Personal Blog of Jake Ackerman

"A Toast To 2010 - The Best Year Yet..."

2010-01-02T14:47:00.004-07:00

Aahhh, 2010. Two Thousand and Ten. Zweitausendzehn... Twenty Ten.

It is here at last.

2009 represents for me the greatest year of my life, EVER. It was probably the hardest year, one of the most challenging years... maybe the scariest year - but there is no question that so far - 2009 was my best year ever, and I feel so thankful for the past year.

For the one or two people who used to check in with my blog - until I went on a 6 month sabbatical from writing... I am happy to report that I am back at it.

Some of my favorite accomplishments of 2009:

Spent more time than ever with my family
Got to know ME in a new way (thanks to "the 7 Habits", to Rod & crew, my wife, parents, and a few key others... God, DW, R&MP, BB, B&MD, TN, BB, M&MK, R&MP, and few others)
Wrote in my "Gratitude Journal" in all but about 50 days. (320 entries)
Lived through a very tough time
Depended on God more than on myself
Am the best person I have ever been, today.

That said, I missed out on some things too, and I hope I NEVER have to live through another year like this one was, LOL!!!

Goals for 2010:

Keep going with what I'm doing
365 Entries in my "Gratitude Journal"
Spend more time than ever with my family
Go on 4 vacations
Blog at least 20 times
Finalize and close 0ut the impact of the Real Estate melt down in my life, and move on professionally to create serious, recession-proof financial stability
Give more than I take
Be a better friend to all I know
Be closer to God every day
For the sake of it, should I put "to get in better shape physically" since everyone else is doing it anyway?

I feel as optimistic about things as I have felt since 2005 when my construction company exploded... not that I have a good reason - but I feel so blessed.

I want to thank my wife and my children, my parents, in-laws, and my friends for being by my side through a tough year, and express my love to them, and to all those who may read this...

Jake

The Adventure of a Lifetime

2009-07-15T23:07:00.002-06:00

Check out some of the lyrics from the popular band U2's song "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For":

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still havent found what I'm looking for

Classic literature is filled with stories about people who spent their life looking for something, only to find that it was right in front of them the whole time.

Today some of my dear pals started an incredible adventure - The Mongol Rally. I did not know how I would feel not participating... would I feel sad or disappointed? Would I have a sense of loss, that I had missed an opportunity - or jealousy perhaps.

Back then, when I decided NOT to go on the Mongol Rally, I told Bryan that I was starting a different kind of 10,000 mile journey: The journey to be the man God wanted me to be.

This quest has lived up to every expectation I could have imagined. I feel closer to my Heavenly Father, to Jesus Christ, more in love with my wife, my children, and my life than I ever knew would be possible. I have had to truly look at myself now compared to before, and wonder if I ever really truly loved before! That may sound crazy, and I know that I DID. But the enormity of the love that grows as you consecrate, sacrifice, serve and work for others was never known to me. Maybe only now am I beginning to get a tiny glimpse of the love God has for each of us.

I have always been astounded at my wife Amanda's love: Watching my wife suffer to bring our children into our family - the desire she had to have children, the complete dedication to do whatever it took to get them here, and (specifically during her pregnancy) the pain and challenges of carrying the baby... the discomfort each step of the way... and then the physical trauma and suffering of giving birth, and then feeding, and nurturing our baby... and all the sleepless nights, sick and tired, yet continuing along - most often while I slept - this is a remarkable demonstration of the Adventure that is the topic of my blog tonight.

One of the scariest things we can ever do is to attempt to follow that admonition to "lose our life in the service of others" and then hope that we will find it. Attempting this is not easy, and while I am far from the mark, I can say that in the past months I have lived moments in which I (to the greatest extent I could for my life) have surrendered my life to Christ, "lost my life" in doing what was right and serving - all the while not knowing the outcome, and engaged in walking his path... and remarkably, have been blessed with some of the the greatest lessons - some of the greatest ADVENTURE imaginable.

The Adventure tonight was incredible, and I wouldn't trade it for London: Tonight, I prayed with, sang to, and kissed each one of my children and tucked them in to their beds as they fell asleep. I laughed at "Doug" on "King of Queens" and watched Amanda's face light up with laughter as we watched that funny show... and then started this blog.

The Adventure of a Lifetime is right in front of me, and the toughest part is having to recognize that it was right here all along, and I didn't see it.

Surely there is adventure in the streets of Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia - or in swimming Lake Baikal, Russia. But I know of no greater adventure than in facing the man looking back at me in the mirror as I brush my teeth each morning and night, and choosing to BE the person my Father intended.

Pain Can Be a Facilitator

2009-06-19T11:50:00.003-06:00

I have a couple of incredible stories to tell:

A friend of mine and his wife celebrated the birth of a baby not long ago. The story of the baby's birth is pretty incredible. He had been at the gym, she was having contractions... timing things - all was normal. Aways into his work out, he noticed a couple missed calls from his wife. He finished a few sets, and headed home. I guess things had progressed rapidly, and the baby was coming NOW!

As soon as they got home, they jumped in his new sports car and started racing - literally breaking traffic laws, running red lights, swerving in and out of traffic to get his wife to the hospital. SHE WAS IN PAIN!!!

At one point on the way to the hospital, they get pulled over by a cop. My friend pulls over, gets out, goes and tells the cop he has to go, he get back in the car, and drives away just as crazy as before. Her water breaks IN THE CAR! She is yelling: I have to push! It is coming!

Within 30 seconds, LITERALLY - of his wife getting into the hospital bed, she had completely delivered the baby... no doctor, no drugs, no nothing - she was DONE. Baby is here in 30 seconds FLAT! His wife says it was the most pain she has EVER felt.

According to my friend and his wife, it was also the FASTEST recovery she has ever had... within a day (I think) she was healed and good to walk around, etc.

Here's another pain story:

My friend Vern has had both of his hips replaced, and is a healthy 60 years old. 2 weeks ago, Vern was out for a daily walk feeling great, when the titanium ball of one of his artificial hips literally breaks off - disconnecting his leg from his body, and leaving a broken fragment of the titanium hip to damage the inside of his leg.

Vern called me because I was in the area, and I was able to assist him in getting an ambulance to the scene, and get Vern some of the help he needed. I will never forget praying with Vern on the sidewalk watching his entire body shaking violently from all the pain. How grateful I am that I could be there with him that day.

Because of the severity of his injury, the need for a specific doctor to fix the issue, and other factors, Vern was in tremendous pain for 36 straight hours, and underwent 8 hours of very intense surgery. He literally went nearly 48 hours without ANY sleep. All he could do was wait in agonizing pain until the recovery from surgery could begin. The doctor said it was the longest surgery he had ever performed because of having to remove the old hardware, replace it all, and all that had gone on internally in Vern's leg.

I am happy to report that Vern's recovery has been incredible. His physical therapists and the doctor were in disbelief at his ability to walk unassisted, and without even crutches just 3 days after surgery... and he is on the go now almost like before where a traditional hip replacement recovery can take 3 months or more.

Vern and I talked the other day about why his recovery was so quick, and I thought of the quick recovery of our friends after the baby being born so quickly and without drugs. The doctor had said that in some ways perhaps the pain and lack of drugs to deaden the wounds might have contributed to Vern's speedy recovery.

In life there are instances when we recognize something painful has to happen, in order to progress. Certainly any woman facing childbirth knows that the pain will come, and has to prepare for it. Whether it is this pain, the difficulty of a career change, or confronting challenges within our selves, our families, or our relationships - the pain is VERY difficult.

In my own life, I have confronted my share of difficulty... and it HURTS! It is so difficult to deal with, and sometimes when the pain is ongoing, it is so much easier to pretend it doesn't hurt and to try and ignore it or focus on something else. (Try to deaden the pain with drugs). Like Vern going 2 straight days without sleep, and agonizing - just waiting for the resolution to be over, when I am in the most difficult times, it has felt as if life would end, minutes have seemed to take HOURS...

A tremendous blessing that I have today, is the blessing of the Pain. I know in my heart how bad it has hurt, and that there is no way I could have dealt with it alone. In many ways, I am so grateful that I have had the chance to feel - and continue to experience pain that is a small piece of the pain that was suffered by One who suffered for me, and all mankind. I have had the gift of waiting for the great Healer, who comforts me, and sets my heart at ease, and brings Peace when I feel so lost. Sometimes this can take a long time, and waiting for that peace to come can be difficult... but I am learning to trust that it will come.

Somehow, I think that pain can help the healing process begin. It can bring people closer together, and heal them faster, make their bonds stronger and relationships with themselves, with each other and with God deeper and more permanent.

I NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS KIND OF PAIN AGAIN - And it is tough to recognize that in my case, it is not over yet... but I can look back at so many blessings received and have hope - a lot of hope that pain can facilitate healing - and help me to become a stronger, better son, father, husband, provider, friend, listener, servant, leader, and person than ever before... maybe even better than I could have been if I would not have had these experiences?

I am actually anxious to "test out my new hip" every day when I wake up... and even though it can still hurt, I love the gift of life, and the hope that I can be better... and hopefully do something to bring others joy, peace, or at least help them so to not have to feel as much pain in their life.

Starting Over = Never Give Up!

2009-06-11T18:31:00.005-06:00

In my life, I like to have a plan. Hmm... I propose that we start with A, B, C... then we move on to D, E, F, and G. As we continue things will progress through from H, all the way until we get to X, Y, and Z.

Having the plan interrupted - or feeling like the plan is interrupted can be very difficult.

I can remember putting a puzzle together with my daughter C, and my son T messing up a couple of pieces... my daughter felt so frustrated she was ready to break apart the entire puzzle and quit. She cried, "Dad! Now T messed up my puzzle I have to start all over!" She was very upset, and in that moment, "Starting Over" was the worst thing imaginable for her.

"Starting Over" as a feeling is very difficult to deal with, even for adults. My life doesn't look anything like the way I desperately want it to right now, and it is tough to admit that it is my own fault. I pray every day so hard for strength and courage to do the things necessary to help it look different than it does for the sake of my wife, my children, and so many others who are facing challenges right along with me. Making these changes and improvements takes a lot of time, and I haven't been the most patient person. Having to wait makes the feeling of "Starting Over" that much harder.

Today something happened that was very difficult for me, and I felt devastated. I felt so discouraged that similar to my daughter trying to put the puzzle back together, I felt like giving up. I blew it up and out of proportion... and much like my daughter, I was upset because I felt that I was going to have to start all over on a process that for me has been the single most difficult process in my life. In my own life, I get so scared! I don't want to start over! I want to have my life... "the puzzle" be back the way it was!!!

As a father, it is easy to look at my daughter's puzzle, and explain that "Starting Over" might simply mean "Starting From Here"... and showing her that she can take the pieces that my son messed up, and spend the time putting them back where they go.

When a day like today comes, I can feel almost crushed under the weight of having to start over. Fears that maybe I won't make it, maybe the puzzle will never come together, maybe there is no way I can do it on my own... all of this make me so afraid that a part of me wants to quit... but I don't even know what quitting would look like? (For my daughter it meant messing up the rest of the puzzle, and refusing to continue to put it back together, and running upstairs to her room).

I guess for today, Starting Over for me means to get down on my knees, pray for the courage to be better, and to "Start from here" putting the pieces together that I can... and hoping that somehow as I keep going, and never give up, the rest of the pieces will start to make sense.

In that way, I am so grateful for the strength to "Start Over" today... or to say it better - to "Start From Here". My prayer... and the only comfort I can find is that if I trust in Him, he will help me to become so much better than I ever could have been on my own, and that the finished product of my life will be more beautiful than it ever could have been if I had not chosen to Start Over, and Never Give Up.

What Might Have Been

2009-06-06T08:21:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine said recently that the most painful, most difficult, and scariest thing we will ever have to face is "the man we might have been"...

This statement was like a punch in the stomach!

It goes along with the poem by John Greenleaf Whittier:
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'."

What might have been if I had only made different decisions in my life? It is a scary thought to realize that someday, many years from now I will look back at those painful and critical "crossroads moments" in my life, and have to face the reality of the person I was then, and the life-long consequences of the decisions I made.

Out there, 20 years from now, the man I might have been - the man I dreamed of being - the one my children needed, and the one for whom my loved ones pleaded will look back at me in the mirror, and I will have to face him... to face them.

It is in those moments, like it or not - I'll be accountable only to myself for the tragedies I experienced and my reactions to those tragedies... and will have to ask myself "How would my life have been different, if only I would have ________________________ (fill in the blank). Who would I be? Would I be happier? What might have been if I would have chosen differently?

In this spirit I am trying with everything I have to face myself in the mirror NOW, and every day along the way... and make the decisions necessary so that in 20 years I can be better than I ever hoped.

This is not easy. In fact it continues to prove to be the greatest test I have ever encountered. This is so painful to face. It seems that recently I wonder every day if there is enough inside of me to make it, to go the distance. I plead for strength beyond my own.

The most incredible thing that I have found: There IS strength beyond my own... and it is the source of my hope that someday I will face the man that might have been, and be victorious!

Constancy vs. Consistency

2009-05-24T15:06:00.004-06:00

Yes readers (all 5 of you who actually read my blog) it is time for another download of what I have been learning... and today's chapter will focus on two attributes that have emerged in my life in place of one.

For the past year or so, I have really tried to strive for CONSISTENCY in areas of my life. Recently, (even just in the past couple of weeks) I have started to become aware of a very similar trait of character, which is CONSTANCY.

First, I rarely if ever bother to define a word, but for today's blog, I will.

Consistency - steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.: There is consistency in his pattern of behavior.

Constancy - the quality of being unchanging or unwavering, as in purpose, love, or loyalty; firmness of mind; faithfulness.

Synonyms:
1. resolution, steadfastness, fidelity, fealty, loyalty, devotion. 2. permanence, regularity, dependability.

Allow me to share some of the differences I have discovered, and a little insight as to how the distinction came into my consciousness:

First... when I started this blog, decided to walking 50 miles, and really began striving to be the type of person I am supposed to, consistency is one of the character traits I wanted to develop more than any other. Check out my blog post from last year about the importance of Repitition... which is similar to Consistency.

It seems to me that Consistency is all about doing things. It is WHAT WE DO, consistently. A person who chooses to use foul language may do so with consistency, just as a person who consistently wakes up early to go to the gym. Allow me to express a tremendous amount of gratitude for this principle. It is not easy for most people (myself included) to truly be consistent... and it is in striving for CONSISTENCY in my life that I have discovered the power, hope and freedom of CONSTANCY.

Consistency is the cousin to the principle of Constancy. Instead of a focus on consistently doing certain things, Constancy is focused instead on Being and Doing certain things ALWAYS. This constancy in every moment is a greater principle, and demands a higher commitment of self... of consecration to things more important than ourselves.

There are things that each of us IS in every moment... and other things we are striving to do or be. I am always a father by virtue of the fact that I have 4 children, but it is in the deep devotion to them, to who they are, to who they will become, and to being the father they need and deserve with every breath I take that awakens the principle of Constancy in Fatherhood. While I may choose to pray with my children each night I put them to bed (consistency) it is my own commitment to personal prayer that changes and deepens the commitment to them (constancy).

While I may go to work every day to earn some money (consistency) it is the deepest desire of my heart to provide my wife and children with comforts and safety in financial security (this has been rough over the past while ;) but choosing to keep going is easy when the desire is so big) that provides me with unique insights and answers to complex and seemingly unsolvable business challenges that comes with constancy in purpose.

My wife is as good of an example of constancy as I know, and while I may have mentioned her on Mothers Day, her constancy in Motherhood is one of the most remarkable examples of constancy I have personally witnessed. This is far different from that of a person who is by virtue of biological fact a mother, but who consistently chooses to place the needs of her children second behind her own.

There are many things I can DO almost constantly, on the quest to accomplish constancy; as we do these things, the fabric of WHO we are is changed:
1. Remember and give gratitude to God
2. Love others unconditionally with all we have.
3. Be honest and charitable
4. Be concerned about the well being of those we love.
5. Hold on to Hope and Faith
6. Pray

There are thousands of things that we can DO consistently, and as we do fabric of our character changes too, as does the power of our constancy. A few simple examples are:
1. Read good books
2. Excersize
3. Eat Right
4. Work Hard

I am sure by now the point has been made. It has been powerful to recognize that in many aspects of my life, constancy is not only a positive, but a REQUIREMENT. Consistency is not enough when it relates to my wife and children... these are relationships in which constancy is required. It is a comfort to know that in areas I am weak, I can accomplish constancy by being consistent... and that the two go together.

In other areas... like training for a marathon, consistency is important to accomplish a goal, but it can be very temporary. The conclusion: The power of consistency is wasted if we do not harness it to awaken within ourselves constancy in principles of sound character.

So if you like the blog, the good news is - I WILL BE BACK CONSISTENTLY to report on my quest for CONSTANCY in the most important facets of my life!

On Mothers

2009-05-10T21:44:00.003-06:00

What a gift that we have a day dedicated to reflecting about Mothers.

What a shame that we don't take the chance to do so more often!

Anyone who knows my own mother can attest that she is a very special woman. She loves God, and every one of her 9 children. She approaches life in a very unique way, and is not the typical mother. My brother Dave, a comedian jokes that my Mom taught him that noone would want to be his friend so that when they did, he could be pleasantly surprised. In high school I told my Mom I was going to a party. She asked me "who are you going with". I responded that I would be attending the party with the leaders of the school. Good kids, the student body officers, and members of student council, other good kids. Then my Mom asked, "well why would they want to hang out with you?"

Perhaps that question is more relevant today than back then. When I was seventeen or so, my parents and I really struggled. As many young people do, I promised myself I would never do things the way my parents did.

Then I met the woman who would be the future mother of my children... my wife. My posts are too long as it stands, and for me to write the whole story with Amanda would take a lifetime... in fact in many ways, I pray the story is still being written!

Anyone who is lucky enough to know Amanda would also attest that she is a very incredible woman. She is strong, she is soft, patient, and filled with charity and compassion. She loves our four children in a way I could believe anyone could love someone that much - I am learning! Amanda brings a smile to everyone that knows her, and her smile and her laugh are probably her two most contagious characteristics.

Amanda is similar, but different from my own Mother, and both are wonderful woman. Both have a strong commitment to being good, and to principles of truth. Both love their children with everything they have. Both woman are worthy of celebrating on Mothers Day.

How grateful I am for both woman. I would not be who I am without my Mother, and her love. I don't know if I would ever have been able to feel such a degree of love for Dad, my Mother, myself, or anyone without the influence of Amanda for the past years.

Mothers Day is a day where we get to celebrate and embrace the Mothers in our lives. I can say with certainty that I have never witnessed any person in any capacity of business, law, friendship, ecclesiastical duty, even fatherhood - that is so completely devoted to a singular cause than these Mothers. While the two Mothers I'm speaking of (my wife, and my own Mom) approach their roles differently, I am truly grateful for both.

They both deserve to be honored forever, and I am thankful to have had a chance to try in a very small way to do that today. May we honor the Mothers in our lives with our actions every day.

A New Name For The Blog -

2009-05-06T06:57:00.005-06:00

When I started this Blog, this was a blog about my quest to be GREAT.

THE EXPLANATION FOR THE NEW NAME:

I hoped and dreamed that my energy and effort to be Great would become an inspiration to millions... the original name I selected was "CLIMBING EVEREST"... a story of my quest to climb the tallest mountain on earth, and conquer!

While I continue to strive harder to accomplish great things in my life, it is exactly this quest - that has meant so much to me - that has taught me I may have been "CLIMBING EVEREST", when God intended for me to climb a different mountain.

There are lots of classic stories in literature about this type of discovery.

One of my favorite movies is STARDUST, and if you have not seen it, I recommend it highly. Stardust is the story about a boy who goes on a journey to retrieve a fallen star to prove his love to a girl from his hometown.

As he goes on his journey, he finds the star - a woman - and begins to drag her along with him so that he can get the thing he really wants: the love of the girl back home.

The trouble is that the harder he tries, the more trouble he gets into until he realizes that it the star itself is the very thing he wants, and his life and heart is changed forever... and he becomes a man and a king. As you might imagine, he and his star live happily ever after!

In many ways my quest to become GREAT has been similar. I have spent so much time, energy, effort, and focus trying to prove to myself and everyone I know that I am, or can be GREAT. The journey has been long, and mostly about me dragging everyone I know along with me, because I would not yield.

It has been a long a difficult journey, and makes me so sad to realize I failed to see the stars in my life all along... and perhaps to them I was GREAT to begin with... but I didn't feel great.

Sometimes, I suppose, there are courses worth abandoning... and for me "CLIMBING EVEREST" is no longer the goal.

So what is the goal?

To just put down on this blog what is happening for me, and record my life...

The goal is to be a GOOD person, and to trust that as I do what is right, I will find joy in myself and my family and friends, instead of only finding joy in being a guy who would stop at nothing to accomplish more than other people around me, and trample on my life and those I love in the process.

I don't know who I am going to be when this (my life) is done... or when that day will come. What I do know is that right now, today I am a DAD... I am a HUSBAND, a SON, a FRIEND, and so many other things, and I have ignored today for so long, and made so many grandiose plans to conquer the world, I have failed in many of these other areas.

In many ways I feel so much gratitude for the lessons... and for the hope I feel in the change in course. I hope anyone reading this can have similar peace in directing your life where it should go.

Worth The Wait

2009-05-03T16:33:00.002-06:00

I don't have a clue who first coined the phrase "Anything worth having is worth waiting for"... but they were right.

If you have ever been ridiculously hungry, you know exactly what I am talking about. Somehow food that you waited for, and anticipated always tastes better than running to Taco Bell because it is time to eat.

Last week, I was blessed and fortunate to close a business deal that I have been working on for literally 18 months. Frankly speaking, every other person associated with this deal had given up all hope about 6 months ago (right before Christmas) and totally abandoned the project... and millions of dollars along with it.

The fascinating thing is that I have felt so defeated by this project, after having worked on it, believed in it, and struggled to find a way to make it work on my own for so long. Finally, I surrendered. My surrender was not a giving up of hope - but a decision just to keep trying my best, and keep trying even though I may get burned by the outcome. The other interesting point is that it seemed like everyone else gave up... and somehow, with some divine help, I kept working.

We have been working for 18 months in a gridlock between my partners, the bank, the original seller, attorneys, the city, engineers, architects, and a contractor. It has been tough and seemed that every time we would make progress in one area, another area would blow up, and halt any hopes of getting something done.

3 months ago, something happened with the deal. I had continued to communicate with the parties, despite a lot of negativity from some in the deal... and one day one of the groups said, "Jake - you are still working at this. We are not really sure why. If you could wave a magic wand, what is it that needs to happen that we are not seeing that will make this work?"

Somehow, one party came back to the table... and then another, and another. Kind words were spoken to me by some of these gentlemen for the first time in more than a year... "thanks for sticking with it", or "your efforts have been commendable". They don't even necessarily give me credit for the deal happening, but it is gratifying to be know we are moving forward with an outcome that is the best solution for everyone...

Even after the parties got back together, it has taken 3 long months of work to finally structure something that everyone can live with... and Friday May 1st, 2009... we all signed the deal.

While I feel great about the outcome so far, the deal still requires a lot of work and could still fall apart. What has been done so far to get it going again is just the starting point, and has only been the beginning.

In many ways, being a part of the success of this deal will be far more rewarding to me than the participation I had in the easy real estate deals from 2 or 3 years ago, and I won't even be able to take credit for making it happen. I just kept going. Those old deals came easy, and are gone as easy as they came. Learning from those deals put me in a position to appreciate the value of the wait.

No matter what happens with this project, I have grown tremendously as a person learning the lessons from my life and applying them here.

This lesson seems to be showing itself in many other areas of my life.

I started a garden with my kids. I read books, mixed and prepared soil, bought seeds, and have watered it consistently... and there is little to any visible signs of progress in any way! To be honest, it can be very frustrating. I have had a lot of self doubt: Maybe I am just a lousy gardener. Maybe I mixed the soil wrong. Maybe I don't have what it takes.

The very reason I started the garden (other than that I wanted a cost effective, teaching, bonding, and meaningful experience to share with my children) was that too often in life I have been all about INSTANT RESULTS... getting what I want when I want it. Somehow, the people who know gardening have shared that it just doesn't work that way with a garden.

It requires work, and waiting. It requires PATIENCE, and planning, and consistency. (Having to water it, take care of it, etc.) I suppose that each year I garden, I would get a little better at it, and learn a little more...

In life, things worth doing are worth waiting for... and I believe that in some cases, the longer we are willing to wait, to sacrifice, and the more time we are willing to put in with little reward, the sweeter the reward we can receive.

My hope is to be able to have the strength to keep my eye focused on the things of the most value - and invest everything I have into those goals... and I have to hold on to that hope, or that faith that in the end, it can be Worth the Wait.

Good vs. Great

2009-04-26T21:18:00.003-06:00

This blog topic is NOT to be confused with the book called "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. I've never read Jim's book... and for me the topic of Good vs. Great has a different meaning.

Most people talk about taking their skill from being Good, to being Great. The desire to elevate themselves from a state of being "good" or "acceptable" - at math or table tennis or water polo - to "great" or "incredible".

As I started this blog and tried to identify what it was in life I really wanted... tried to create a sort of "LIFE VISION" - I determined that this blog would be a sort of journal, or record about my quest to be more than just average - I wanted to be GREAT.

What I have realized is just how important this goal is. My LIFE PURPOSE is NOT to be the greatest hockey player, real estate guru, or sales person (I would actually settle for good at all of these). MY PURPOSE was to become a great PERSON... a great husband, father, son, friend, businessperson, and man.

I have been chasing this goal for some time now, and what I have found is a bit perplexing: If you or I EVER want to be GREAT - really and truly - there are 2 very challenging Truths we must embrace:

1. In order to become GREAT, you must first be GOOD... and there is none Good but One.
2. In order to be the Greatest, you must also be the LEAST.

Can we discuss these 2 truths - seemingly paradoxical in nature for a moment?

First: In order to become GREAT, you must first be GOOD, and there is none good but One.

If I (or any person) am not GOOD first, seeking to do RIGHT, be CLEAN, and add to the lives of others, how could I ever be called GREAT? If my singular mission is to better myself, my wealth, my life, and my goals... than even if I accomplish all of the things I try, haven't I simply TAKEN more than I gave?

The idea that anyone could be GREAT - without first being a GOOD person is actually kind of crazy. Yet in the world we see so many examples of this... athletics, business, etc. Was Michael Jordan GREAT? I would say that Air Jordan was the greatest basketball player of all time - but with so much money, fame and fortune, has he accomplished greatness since the highlight reels stopped playing, and the bulbs stopped flashing? (By the way, Michael has been a hero of mine - it is just a question!)

Becoming and staying aware that we - NONE OF US - are as great as we think seems to be an important step. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The ablest man I ever met is the man you think you are". This was a laugh-out-loud quote for me. My wife would witness of this being a theme from my life... I think I can do anything, and too often fall short and am left making excuses for why it was not my fault.

Rather than worrying with who I think I am, being content to do what is right, and recognize that there has only been One who is good is a critical first step. Even Jesus Christ when called "Good Master" said that he was not to be called "Good".

What about the second principal?

The famous story of the Apostles of Jesus Christ. In Luke 9:46-48 "And there arose a reasoning among them, which of them should be the Greatest..." and they were told very plainly, "Whosoever receives me receives him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be GREAT."

This must mean that if I have a true desire to be GREAT, I must also truly - deep in my heart - desire to be the LEAST.

For anyone (myself included) who has ever had aspirations of greatness, reconciling all of this in our hearts is not easy. I have felt a burning desire my whole life to do something great - and have chased my tail for years with such aspirations. Now finding a way for my feelings to co-exist with the truths that there is only One who is Good, and that I must be the Least... is not easy.

Like anything it requires PRACTICE.

I have found one situation in which these truths become easier to understand and embrace. When I spend time with my wife & children, and watch them and their great love for life. I see who they are and all they can become, and I observe my family in our struggle to survive these tough times it is obvious how critical it is that I be the LEAST.

And quietly the answer comes - if I will put them first, and be the least; if I will be Good, and keep going, never tiring from putting them first... someday without ever trying, it will happen... I will be lifted up.

Embracing this requires trust in power beyond our own, and a willingness to let go. It is so challenging to do, and do consistently. I am finding that it is impossible if the motivation is so that I can be GREAT... it is much more simple to do when the motivation is THEM.

Conform vs. Consecrate

2009-04-18T18:03:00.002-06:00

For the last 10 years I have had a favorite saying, by George Bernard Shaw. Here it is:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, therefore all progress depends upon the unreasonable man"

I remember where I was when I read this for the first time. This quote inspired me for a number of reasons. It told me I could DO and BE who I wanted. That if I held on long enough, and REFUSED to CONFORM, eventually everything would go the way I wanted.

REFUSAL TO CONFORM... hmmm. Anybody that knows me would probably concede that this has been a theme in my life... and by following this quote as a defining creed, both good and bad have come. I have accomplished some pretty incredible things, and am smack dab in the middle of a lot of pain as a result of the arrogance adherence to this quote manifested in me.

So what about the greatest being that ever lived, Jesus Christ. I think that everyone would agree that He certainly didn't CONFORM to the leadership of His time. BUT - unlike the quote from George Bernard Shaw, Christ did NOT persist in trying to adapt the world to Himself, either. Some might argue that He tried to change things... and we certainly know that He changed EVERYTHING... but his was not a life of refusal to CONFORM. His was a life of CONSECRATION. He did what he did because he had a sure knowledge of His Father, and sought only to do the will of His Father.

We have all heard the saying, "You can't change others, you can only change yourself." Imagine the arrogance of my quote, that basically postulated that I would refuse to change! How much pain might I have avoided by recognizing the principal of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING.

A few quick examples:

Person trying to "lose pounds" struggles to CONFORM to that "new diet". Person who is converted to healthy living chooses to CONSECRATE his diet choices to a deeper mission within him / herself.

Person wanting to live on a budget is frustrated when they continually fail to CONFORM to the strict budget... but when the pain of being a slave to finances becomes great enough, suddenly each refusal to splurge is CONSECRATED to the cause of financial freedom.

As I have chosen over the past weeks and months to continue to CONSECRATE things unto causes greater than my own plans, life has taken some very tough directions... and to someone observing me, they might perhaps perceive that things just got bad enough that I was "broken" into a place of humility, and finally a willingness to CONFORM.

Make no mistake - CONSECRATION requires humility... a humility & trust in principles and powers outside of my control that I never could have believed I would feel. Somehow, in CONSECRATION the humility is a WISH, almost a desire - deep within. In CONFORMING humility might be born of being forced.

I believe fo CONSECRATION to exist, we must have a belief or hope in or for something so far out of reach, that CONSECRATION comes natural. Despite the struggles that have been heaped up, the difference between CONSECRATION and CONFORMING has helped me to keep going. In CONSECRATION, the events that are transpiring are results of my choices.

EVERYONE should have causes that they are engaged enough in to CONSECRATE pieces of our lives to. Many people do this naturally... like a parent making sacrifices for their children... but these "sacrifices" are not really sacrifices to the parent, because the parent is CONSECRATING the sacrifices to the cause of the family.

I hope that the lesson of CONSECRATION vs. CONFORMING may assist some reader to take action toward a higher purpose, and do so joyfully, even though it may not be easy.

Living Without

2009-04-05T18:54:00.002-06:00

If you ever want to appreciate something, try living without it for awhile!

Recently I went 1 week without internet access (except on my phone)... what a frustrating feeling of being disconnected!

More significantly, every time I travel or am away from my beautiful wife and children for several days, I am overcome by the sense of missing them, of anticipating seeing them, and when I finally do it is like a treasure. I a love to observe how quickly my children grow. My second youngest daughter is four. She told me yesterday about the movie "Monsters vs. Aliens" and she said, "that movie is hilarious Dad, you HAVE to see it!" Something about the way she said the word hilarious caught me off guard, and nearly brought me to my knees... my children are growing up!

Imagine a world where just a few of the things that are a part of your normal life are now GONE. What if you were suddenly forced to live without hot water, or heat in your house? Okay - those are pretty big ones. What about living without a Washer and Dryer? Would you hand-scrub and hang your clothes? Or are you simply confronted with the inconvenience and expense of heading to the Laundry? What if you had to go a week or two without your car, or a day without your cell phone! What if you couldn't reach your family and friends - anybody for a whole day, a month or a year?

The other day I went to traffic court - and plead guilty to a speeding ticket (10 over). While in the courtroom, I waited as the Judge met with about 10 individuals who had been in jail. Some for a few nights, and some for several months or even a year. As I observed these people, I felt something. I imagined what it must be like to be alone in there. This made me very uncomfortable.

This was an important opportunity for me to reflect on all of the things I am the most grateful for in life... and also think about all of the little things I would appreciate if faced with a similar circumstance: A hot meal, a car to drive, internet access, the ability to work to provide for my family, and I thought about each member of my family... all of the things I would miss most, along with all the things I plan to do as I continue to be a part of their lives.

There is a travesty in this principle! Why is it that many people get caught in the trap of taking things for granted? How is it that too often we must lose something in order to value and appreciate it as we should?

As I listened to the conversations these prisoners conducted with the Judge. Each one seemed to promise reform... convey to the judge a commitment to do better, and to be more. As I sat there... I could not help but wonder, "Am I any different?".

The answer is YES! I choose to be different.

As I reflected, I concluded that generally most people react similarly. Once we lose things, we start to appreciate them. In that way perhaps we are all alike. Most people are more worried about the things they don't have, than they are grateful for what they have. Here are two more important things I believe can set us apart from being caught in the trap:

1. TIME & DISCIPLINE (Patience). If I will choose - be WILLING to live without a luxury or comfort for a period of time, appreciating the value of it, and choosing to sacrifice it for today with the hope of finding even greater appreciation and more joy after the period of sacrifice, I AM different than someone who simply loses things and then regrets the loss.

When I cam home from living in Germany I bought a car I loved with the help of a friend. It was a nice car (in my opinion) but it had no CD player at all. I can remember being encouraged by several people to buy the CD player, get "A system" and deck it out - but I was willing to wait. I worked hard to save money and pay the car off. I saved much of my money to get a down payment on a condo, and buy my wife a wedding ring. Every purchase I made at that stage in my life was rewarding because I waited, worked, and truly considered each choice, and when I made a decision I made a decision based on value, and not immediate gratification.

Somehow and at some point, I regret to admit that I lost track of this character trait. I become egotistical, and had to HAVE to be happy, instead of being willing to work to BE happy within myself. Hidden in the negative pattern I am describing is the second secret to being different:

2. A GOAL GREATER THAN MYSELF. At the heart of MISSING something is a longing for something or someone that we seek for. What is it we seek? A car, more money, all of these luxuries, in their very nature SERVE ME.

What if instead of LONGING for, or SEEKING for a luxury, our seeking is focused on SERVICE, LOVE, PROVIDING. This simple shift is the difference between me working hard at my business to gain success and conquest, and working to PROVIDE. If providing is truly what I seek then when I accomplish it - I am filled with joy and satisfaction, instead of a desire to have MORE, MORE, and MORE conquest.

So the next question for me is SUSTAINING the correct goals. One of the most difficult things in the world is to SUSTAIN. I blogged about this topic last year when I wrote about REPETITION = GREATNESS. In that post I committed to write this blog. While I have come to realize that blogging SEVERAL times per week may not be in line with my priorities, I will continue to post... because that is the essence of SUSTAINING.

Perhaps the only thing I have learned relative to being able to sustain an effort, and keep it going is to have a GREATER PURPOSE IN LIFE. To set for ourselves a GOAL that fills every inch of our hearts and minds. For me the goal is clear... and big enough that despite any amount of adversity, the goal burns in my heart and moves me to walk toward it. Unfortunately, it took the collapse of the economy, and the subsequent collapse of my ego to recognize the importance of this goal that I had lost track of, or put on the back burner to my conquest... and to recognize some of the safeguards or habits that I either chose never to form because I believed myself too strong, or that falsely believed I could get by without.

In response to this post, please consider something that you take for granted, that living without would turn your entire world upside down... and commit NOT to take it for granted.

And go find that REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BIG GOAL that is the one thing you want most. And then, if you are serious about it, try LIVING WITHOUT something you love or enjoy for awhile until you progress toward your goal. My guess is that if you are unwilling to go without for awhile, either your goal is not really your goal, or you are not ready to do what it takes to achieve it.

Getting Answers To Tough Questions

2009-03-29T18:20:00.006-06:00

Several months ago, I was struggling internally with a whole bunch of stuff. This blog probably is enough evidence of that for anyone who has been following.

In the midst of some pretty intensive attempts at personal discovery I had so many questions:

What do I want to do with my life?

Why do I feel this way?

What am I going to do for a living when I grow up?

Do I want to run my own business, or maybe working for someone else would be easier for awhile?

Am I a good Dad or Husband?

There have been too many questions to list, but one day I was sitting at my desk in my office at home, and I typed the following questions on a paper and then taped it to the wall:

WHO am I?

What is my PURPOSE?

What is my GOAL?

What is my LEGACY?

I think you will agree that these questions are different than the other questions... but how? Rather than being questions that define what I wanted to "DO" they focused on who I wanted to "BE"... on the person I am striving to become.

For several months, these questions just stared at me every day. They looked at me and demanded answering. These are difficult questions to answer because to give them an answer, I had to be prepared to either live with myself, or be the person I wanted.

As the weeks and months went by, I decided to try to manage my time better, and bought a Franklin/Covey Planner. As I began to try to use the planner, it became evident that I needed to form stronger self discipline, and HABITS. I needed help, and the planner recommended this important book... The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey. (As I have consistently read this book I have wondered if the book should be titled "The Ultimate Journey of The Discovery of Ones Heart and Soul in a World Where All That Seems to Matter is Money", or "Finding Your Life Again When You Thought You Were Lost Forever", or even "The Book That Will Give Jake Strength to Be The Man He Should Have Been All Along.")

How I wished I would have read this book 10 years ago! One of the most remarkable things about it is that as a result of some of the learning and forming of Habits in this book, I am actually consistently reading several other books I should have been reading. Go READ this book, and do all of the exercises in it!!!

Forming Habits is not easy, but it is worth it. My experience with forming Habits so far is that the change that inspires the habit MUST come from inside... from my deepest desires... from the answers to some of the questions above.

Several weeks ago, I started GETTING ANSWERS to these TOUGH QUESTIONS. What is funny is that it took so much time and energy from me to have the strength to face myself and ASK the questions in the first place. And GETTING THE ANSWERS has not been any easier. I wrote the answers to these very questions several weeks ago... and then, because of an assignment in Stephen R. Covey's book, began working on My Personal Mission Statement.

He encourages readers to go slow, and there are SEVERAL processes you can go through to find the Mission Statement... for about 10 days I have had the words "MISSION STATEMENT" written in my Planner.

Today, I FINISHED IT! (for now... it can always be added to or refined).

Some of you might be thinking - Okay Jake, just tell us your answers so we can feel impressed - that is not the purpose of this blog! My purpose is to inspire you to GET YOUR ANSWERS, and WRITE YOUR MISSION STATEMENT so you can feel the power they bring into your life.

I have concluded that my answers to these questions are for me - and maybe my wife and my children to know... but I can promise anyone who might read this - getting your answers IS WORTH IT.

If you are stuck - YOU CAN GET THE ANSWERS! It is AWESOME to know that there ARE answers!!! Contact me and I would LOVE to share my experience with you individually.

Learning to Trust

2009-03-26T08:24:00.002-06:00

If you are a "Doer" (or is that spelled "Do-er"?)... then you are a person who does things... you make things happen. Or so you think.

Certainly it can be said of people who are "Doers" that they try. I think there is a verse in the Bible that says be ye Doers, not hearers only. Anyone who knows me knows that for my whole life I've been a "Doer". I guess my logic has always been "why would I trust someone else to do something for me when I can do it myself?". Other sentiments might be "if what you are do-ing isn't working, do more!"

This perspective has its share of benefits - but in recent times I have been forced to look at things with a new perspective:

Learning to trust in the Lord.

My intent here is not to turn my blog into a religious soap box at all... but stay with me for a minute...

Trusting and hoping in a power greater than oneself is a powerful principle. When a child learns to swim, at some point - the child must let go of the edge or his parent, and SWIM! The child must trust that the water they are terrified of will hold them up even though they know they sometimes sink. If they follow the direction of proper training, despite their fears, they will find that they can make it... but only by continuing to follow the steps for swimming (kick those feet, paddle those arms, breath, kick those feet). Only by letting go of the edge can the child come to know and proclaim "Daddy, I CAN SWIM!" Yet it does require action, and TRUST to try.

I am completely out of my element in life. From the economy being its very own force that seems to do whatever it wants, to other circumstances and challenges - being a "Do-er" is not enough.

The best part about the situation is that because it is not enough - I have had to LEARN to TRUST in God, and not my own strength. I like the child have had to learn to trust that if I kick my feet, paddle my arms, and breath, he will not let me drown.

I am not sure what came first, trusting Him - or putting him first - but somehow as I have striven to implement BOTH of these principles, the Do-ing has become easier, more automatic, more joyful, and more productive.

It doesn't make all of the emotion or energy centered around the circumstances go away, but it does give me the knowledge that He can make more out of me than I could have anyway.

So now: Kick, kick, kick! Paddle, paddle, paddle! Breath... kick those feet!

Lost in Space

2009-03-19T17:29:00.003-06:00

If you read my blog today, please take a minute to do something with me. Put your cell phone away for a minute (no texting). Clear away any distractions - and take a few deep breaths before you read on. Now read carefully and pay attention to your feelings...

Imagine yourself in space. Noone is around at all. Everything is gone - really gone. You feel you are suspended in place, and as you look around you realize you hear nothing. You look to try and find Earth, but you see thousands of planets everywhere you look, and that is all. Imagine that you realize you are just there in space, alone... no food, no method of travel, noone to even try to talk with. Now imagine that you realize you are lost in space. You realize that while you will remain conscious - your life will stay like this.

Who are you? What is your purpose? What if this went on forever with no end? If you had to live the rest of completely alone, what would you do?

If you are able to visualize this experience, what do you feel?

Fortunately for most everyone, we are constantly surrounded by family, friends, children, work, and other activities, and we will likely never have to confront a circumstance like this. Still, asking ourselves who we are in this context can be scary, and even create feelings of panic.

Sometimes, events happen in our lives that give us the feeling we are alone, or forgotten. This can be a painful experience.

Maslows hierarchy of needs suggests that humans need Oxygen above every other thing. They have to be able to BREATH or they can't think, process - do anything else. Maslow said that just after oxygen, we need Food, Shelter and Love... I think he was WRONG!

Finding LOVE out there in outer space can be tough for a guy like me who needs to connect with people like I need oxygen. As I have felt my way through this exercise several times the last few days, I have learned some interesting things about myself, and about LOVE.

First, Even if all alone, there is a purpose to my life. In this context it can be simpler to recognize my biggest, most important goals... goals about who I am and who I want to be, not just goals about what I want to do.

What do we learn about LOVE if we are all alone in space?

Some of the most remarkable demonstrations of LOVE in human history have come when a person chooses to sacrifice something high on their own list of needs for something higher on another persons...

A mother who loves her children so much that she chooses to provide them Food while she goes hungry clearly illustrates this point... or a story of one person giving up a warm coat to a loved one, and freezing as a result would show Maslow that Love is more than a need WE have for ourselves, but a NEED we have to GIVE. Giving and receiving LOVE instead of keeping my shelter (a winter coat).

So maybe Maslow was wrong? Maybe we all need LOVE, then oxygen, food, shelter.

So what if you knew that you had to live forever in outer space, but that by doing so, all of the people you loved could have the Love, Oxygen, Food, and Shelter they needed, would you? I guess that is a question that can only be answered by determining Who You Are? What Is Your Purpose? And are those things real enough to last if you are lost in space?

The Midas Touch, in Reverse?

2009-03-06T16:11:00.004-07:00

The story of the Midas Touch is one we all remember... and the concept is one that is applauded in our culture.

Allow me to recount:

Dionysus found his old schoolmaster and foster father, the satyr Silenus, missing. He had been drinking wine and wandered away drunk, to be found by some peasants, who carried him to their king, Midas (some say he passed out in Midas' rose garden). Midas treated him well - entertaining him for ten days and nights with politeness, while Silenus entertained Midas and his friends with stories and songs.

On the eleventh day, Midas brought Silenus back to Dionysus. Dionysus offered Midas his choice of whatever reward he wished for. Midas asked that whatever he might touch should be changed into gold.

Midas rejoiced in his new power, which he hastened to put to the test.

Allow me to interject that this is the part of the story we all remember - in fact it is this concept we all admire in those few people we know who seem to succeed at everything. "You should meet my friend Bryce, he has the Midas touch" (no really - he does)

If I am allowed to speak frankly - this is a gift I actually at one point in my life believed I possessed. (I am so ashamed to admit this.) This is a "gift" we often envy or admire.

Lately, I have felt like I had the Midas Touch - but in REVERSE! Everything I touch (when it comes to real estate) turns into GARBAGE! This has caused me great sadness, remorse, guilt, anger, loss, disappointment and frustration.

But lets go back to the story of King Midas:

Good King Midas hastened to put his new gift to the test. He touched an oak twig and a stone; both turned to gold! Incredible.

Midas returned home, and had his servants prepare a feast. On trying to eat, his food became gold and his drink hardened before his very eyes. To his horror, he even turned his daughter to gold.

Naturally Midas hated the gift he had been so delighted to posses. He plead once again to Dionysus - this time begging to have the gift removed. Dionysus answered by telling Midas to wash in the river.

Midas was freed from the curse when he washed in the river. According to the story, the power flowed into the river, and the river sands turned into gold. (As a sidenote, Midas was a real king, and this story explained why the river Pactolus was so rich in gold, and the wealth of the dynasty claiming Midas as its forefather no doubt the impetus for this myth.

What can I learn from the story?

First I take away that the idea or wish to be able to turn everything to gold is in itself not something that would bring happiness. What if every person I talked to, every deal you did, every move made was a guaranteed success? What a boring, and terrible condition. Any triumph of victory or personal achievement would be bleached out of life. No struggle = no reward.

What else can I learn?

What is fascinating is that when times were good I started to believe I had the Midas Touch... and now that times are tough, I have struggled with the feeling that every thing I touch fails, turns into garbage, etc.

I think I can learn that both of these conditions are OUTCOME based beliefs. I have drawn conclusions about myself based upon results instead of the PROCESS I have followed, or PRINCIPLES I have lived.

I am so grateful for these tough times, because if I can learn lessons now, and make them a part of my character, I will know to measure OUTCOME last.

One of the wealthiest friends I have has silently taught me the lesson that those with gold are not assured to be happier than those without... he has become one of the happiest / funnest guys I know because despite his financial comforts, he has continued to strive to be a better husband, father, son, and friend... and found the richness of life in the process.

I hope to integrate this principle into my life as well.

Busy vs. Distracted?

2009-03-05T08:29:00.002-07:00

Allow me to confess that in the past 30 to 45 days, my quest for personal growth has had its challenges. I have allowed myself to become (Bom, Bom, Bom) Too Busy.

What is fascinating about the last 45 days is that despite my feelings of being overwhelmed, the reality is that I have accomplished a fraction of my traditional output. Quite literally what I am saying here is that if I was normally able to get 5 things done in a day, I got busy and started accomplishing only 3 things in a day, when my whole quest is to accomplish 12.

So here was the "Ah-Hah" moment: I am talking to a gentleman on the phone and he is reciting to me how busy he is. As I listen to him name of the laundry list of things it became clear to me I might just as well have been listening to myself. It also became clear that this gentleman and I are in actuality NOT BUSY, but DISTRACTED.

The following definition can be found on dictionary.com:
dis⋅tract⋅ed [di-strak-tid] – adjective
1. having the attention diverted: She tried to work, but was consistently distracted by text messages from her friends.
2. rendered incapable of behaving, reacting, etc., in a normal manner, as by worry, remorse, or the like; irrational; disturbed.

There has been a LOT written about how BUSY people are in our lives because of the day and time we live in. People list off work, school, church, kids, cell phones.

Are you fricking kidding me? We don't have to farm our own food! The truth is we are NOT busier - just more distracted.

The SOLUTION: Be focused. Make a work plan and stick to it. Be the leader of my own life!!!

Call Off The Wedding!

2009-02-16T22:34:00.008-07:00

A very sad thing happened today. I was putting my four year old daughter to bed tonight, and she said, "Dad... I am so, so, so sorry... but I can't marry you anymore."

When I asked why, she told me it was because I needed to stay married to Mommy. She did reassure me, "But don't worry Dad. I promise I will still come and visit you. I'm just going to live right by you guys on our street."

This might be her line of thinking because I am blessed to live just 2 houses away from my parents... or maybe it was her sweet way of softening the blow. For about the last year or more, she has told everyone that asked her who she would marry, "I'm going to marry my Daddy".

This was actually a harder pill to swallow than I expected. Obviously not hard because the wedding has to be canceled (although I stand to lose a big deposit with the caterer who is booked solid until 2028)... but more because it means that she is growing up, and that I am not getting any younger.

After her announcement, she promised me that when putting her to bed in two days, I could do both her prayer, AND her song. (We pray and sing a song with each child, each night). She then figured out that today was Monday, and that tomorrow (Tuesday) Mommy would do her prayer and song, so Wednesday I could do both prayer and song, and Thursday she would do them herself.

Watching her look at her little fingers, and recite the days of the week while she unraveled this schedule was a bit like witnessing a butterfly perched on a flower, slowly fanning its wings, then taking off into the air, and fluttering away.

My oldest daughter (7) came into my office today and said, "Dad... I am really serious, and I want you to listen", and then announced "I don't want you to pinch me anymore". She is so fun to tickle, pinch, and tease... but I suppose a line has been drawn. (Except for every once in awhile.)

I have to wonder if I am continuing to develop just as my beautiful children?

Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss

2009-02-13T11:41:00.002-07:00

I read this poem today and I actually shed some tears. (It is a fact)

Life is hard!!! I am so scared sometimes... but I know there are places I must go.

I hope this poem means as much to you as it did to me today.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
By Doctor Seuss

Congratulations!

Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and three quarters percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Earliest Memories

2009-01-16T11:06:00.002-07:00

I put my 6 month old daughter to sleep last night, and watched her smile as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Any parent can relate to this feeling...

So I wondered if she will ever remember any of this beautiful time. Surely she won't.

As I came downstairs and Amanda & I talked... a question emerged in my mind and I asked my wife, "What is your Earliest Memory?"

She shared two. One memory of her preschool, and an ice cream party where they made home-made ice cream and the salt spilled on some of it and ruined it. (She also described a four-posted jungle gym and slide from her preschool.) Another earlier memory was of her dad dropping her and her brother off at a sitter's house so that he could go to the hospital as her mom gave birth to her little sister.

My earliest memory is sitting inside of a car with it raining outside... watching my Mom get out of the car and run in front of the car up to a house, and my sister Steffanie tormenting me until my Mom got back.

It gave me a sense of peace to think of that time way back then. When I think of my wife way out in California - and myself in Idaho - it is pretty incredible, and I feel pretty blessed to have crossed paths with my wife, and now be able to watch my children make their earliest memories.

And, while I get to observe most of the beautiful, funny and little things that happen to my children every day... I know my kids will forget almost all.

I'm just glad that I will never forget their earliest memories!

Who Is Jake Ackerman?

2009-01-15T07:38:00.002-07:00

The other day I had conversation with a gentleman named Justin Luedgerodt. (Did I get that spelling correctly?) We discussed the economy and the changing times.

Justin had some interesting insights. The comment that stuck the longest was: "There are a lot of people who've been successful for a long time who'll be forced to reinvent themselves."

I have had similar conversations with some of the best and brightest land developers, general contractors, Realtors, and others - and it is true.

Some people are waiting for the economy to "come back" and return to its previous way. In actuality we are transitioning into a new age.

From the Land Rush to the Gold Rush to the Industrial Revolution to the Baby Boomers - some called the last era "The Information Age". I think the New Age has yet to be written... but there can be no doubt - we will all be forced to change, adapt, and RE-INVENT ourselves if we wish to thrive.

So it is a great opportunity for me to ask: "Who is Jake Ackerman?" and really dig to find the answer.

Who are You?

Like Sands of the Hour Glass... So Are The Days of Our Lives

2009-01-14T07:57:00.003-07:00

Come on! Who doesn't remember that Daytime Soap from back in the eighties? Anyone who has ever watched an hourglass knows... the sand just keeps coming.

This is the saddest, most joyous truth we have.

My younger brother announced Sunday that he is almost thirty - WOW! I remember making him laugh when he was two.

My wife told me last night that she overheard my daughter in a conversation about boys or something with one of her friends. When my wife walked past the room, the two girls quickly switched topics, "So... what is your favorite color?" asked one girl of the other.

I recently watched the Movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was a terrific film based on the statement that "Youth is wasted on the young".

Amanda and I went to the movie together, and took turns taking care of baby Sadie throughout. The movie highlights the life of Benjamin Button, born an old man, and getting younger with every day of his life. In the movie he meets the love of his life and is getting younger as she gets older. It is a beautiful, sad, gleeful movie... and if you want to cherish your time more - go see this movie.

It left me feeling so grateful that I have someone who I can watch the years go by with. It left me appreciating the time I have with my little children more.

So while in hindsight there can be no doubt - our lives go by like sand falling from an hour glass - the best part of all of it is that every single grain of sand can be OURS! We can touch it, remember it, savor it, and LIVE each day... and that is incredible.

The other experience that deserves a chronicle here is that last Friday, my Dad and I went to Body Worlds for our Christmas present from Amanda.

This was a pretty incredible exhibit. Just seeing the human body - actual tissues of actual humans - was fascinating (and a bit nauseating) to me. As Dad & I went through "The Story of the Heart" exhibit, the relationship between the heart and brain was presented.

The importance of working your heart, exercising your body, and being health was evident. Seeing a the physical difference between the lungs of a smoker and a non-smoker, etc. was pretty awesome.

At one point in the show, there was a paper that posed the question, "Is the glass half full or half empty". We were not allowed to take photographs, so I don't have the exact caption, but the scientific data showed that even more than diet and exercise, the importance of being optimistic is critical to the health and well being of a body. (It also pointed out that regular exercise and good diet give your body the tools it needs to be optimistic)

This seemed to be something that I have held on to and preached, and now suddenly at Body Worlds came the complicated scientific explanation (breaking through my slight nausea at seeing all that flesh) for how & why being positive and optimistic makes for a happier & healthier you... and keeps you younger!

Tough Times Make System of Values More Critical Than Ever

2009-01-07T08:26:00.003-07:00

A friend Steve Lloyd and I recently connected on Linked In. He is one of the most brilliant software developers around. On his profile he talks about the simplicity of computer languages - and the similarities they have to other languages.

One of the benefits of a computer language I suppose is that there are rules, and (except in the case of Windows Vista, LOL!) the computer behaves according to the rules.

As people we are by nature, NOT computers. We behave erratically. On a date with a woman once, I told here she was one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen... instead of feeling complimented - she got very angry. "One of? One of the prettiest? Am I not good enough for you?" she said. I really wished I had just left it at "very pretty" or something. WOW!

It has been said that the true character of people shines through in the toughest of times. In several of my past blogs I have written about my experiences that certainly indicate that is true, and I am so grateful to those people who have shown tremendous character in the recent really tough times.

So in looking at all of these things, I have contemplated the importance of a System of Values that directs us in our behavior. Traditionally, a standard system of values might look something like this:

1. My Family; 2. My Church; 3. My Career; 4. My Friends

Others might feel this is incorrect, and change the order some - usually based upon their own experiences in life, and beliefs, etc.

1. God; 2. Family; 3. Friends; 4. Career

A couple of quick observations before we get to my point with all of this.

First - I believe that most people would SAY that their system of values is similar to those listed above... but in the end it is our behavior that proves what our values truly are.

Second - What a wonderful opportunity tough times give us - to prove our system of values, to test our resolve, and to make us really choose what we believe and value.

Now... on to the real point.

If someone had asked me 2 years ago what my "System of Values" was in the context of this blog, I would have responded very similarly to the systems listed above... God, Family, Etc.

Suddenly I am making Value Based Decisions on a whole slew of other criteria that I had never previously considered:

God vs. Church vs. Faith vs. Jesus Christ
My Family (wife & kids) vs. My Family (mom & dad) vs. My Family (brothers & sisters)

Career (This is its own subcategory)
Stay with Construction vs. Start Something Else
Work for FREE to pay my Subs vs. Work to pay my bills and tell subs they are S.O.L.
Protect my own Credit Score vs. Protect my investors Credit Score vs. Who to protect

Surely along these same lines, many families are struggling with some of these same questions about what they truly value:

Eating Out vs. Paying the Mortgage vs. Buying Christmas Presents for Kids

What has been remarkable about this whole experience is that I observe different people literally value things differently. I literally know people who continue to "Eat Out" instead of "Paying the Mortgage" and let their house go... and who am I to say they are wrong.

The truth is that for some, if they owe a lot more on their home than what it will be worth in the next 3 to 5 years, and they were stretching to pay the mortgage anyway, they may value peace of mind more than having good credit and just let the house go and then eat out to celebrate finally being free from that millstone of a mortgage around their neck!

Others place such tremendous value on their credit score that they will tap into savings accounts, incur tax penalties by cashing in their 401 K, and paying, paying, paying. For some these decisions may be born of a desire to do what is right, and others literally just love having an excellent credit score.

For me today's blog is not a soapbox.

I don't claim to have a clue about the individual circumstances or value systems of all of the people I deal with... and have found that questioning the value system, integrity or behavior of someone else is unproductive for me... but rather choose to hope that if I were in their shoes I'd do as well as they do.

What I have done to find peace instead is to focus on what I control - my own System of Values...

I had a terrific conversation yesterday with Bryce. This guy is a pillar in the community and a terrific influence on everybody he knows. How fortunate I am to have so many people in my life of such integrity and character. Bryce has been an important sounding board as I have been dealing with some challenging complexities surrounding a deal with a dozen people involved.

He observed related to this deal that if any one of the people in the deal were sitting in the other persons exact position & circumstances, we would likely react almost the exact same way.

It is all good food for thought, and for getting my own Value System a fine tuning.

In the end, whether you believe in God or not, whether you have children and a wife or not, whether you love your friends or are a bit of a lone wolf, or whether you love your career, or just want to make a living so you can live your life, the old value system of 1. God/Church; 2. Family; 3. Career; 4. Friends has to become bigger, better at affecting your behavior... maybe something like this:

1. Do what is right, not what is easy.
2. Do unto others as I hope to have done unto me.
3. Work as hard and as intelligently as I can everyday to provide for my family.
4. Spend as much time as I can with the people I love, doing the things I love.

For anyone who would disagree with leaving God off the list (LOL) I think if I could pull those four things off, he'd be just fine being left off. (For me - he is in #2 and in #4)

What is YOUR Value System?

Announcing 2 New Projects and a Call For HELP Pulling Them Off.

2009-01-04T21:13:00.006-07:00

So the other day I sat down with a man named Steve. We met to discuss (among other things) what his resources were, and how he could best use them to accomplish his goals of Financial Freedom.

Keep in mind, my shtick up to now has been either to do Real Estate deals while recruiting Private Equity from those who already have it, OR build a company using exponential duplication to amass time leverage FOR MYSELF.

TRANSLATION: 1. Get my money and other peoples money working for me. 2. Get my time and other peoples time working for me.

As I met with Steve, he spoke about the different avenues he and his wife have explored in years past to improve their life. He explained about the start up and shut down of several businesses and efforts to become free. He expressed frustration at efforts that had yielded undesirable results despite what he felt was a disciplined and consistent effort.

Specifically, Steve described what I understood to be a sort of longing for help... real help in getting both his time and his money under control.

Interestingly, this conversation was not unlike dozens of conversations like this one that I have had in recent months, and probably a hundred or more conversations in recent years... and in several of the conversations, I was the one interviewing those that have more of what I wanted, and searching for knowledge, tools or a system to assist in solving the problem.

As I spoke with Steve, a decision became clearer in my mind to take action in response to his request, and the search of so many others.

I decided that I would start a group, and simultaneously a blog dedicated to teaching principles of Financial Freedom, and other principles critical to individuals success.

The second part of my decision was as simple as the first... if someone is to get a handle on the money stuff... they are going to have to get a handle on a few other things too... including a commitment to live life, contribute to the world, and striving to BE better and make others around them better... so I decided to start another group called America Remix.

So... after a day or so of fiddling around with names for my projects, I landed on AmericaRemix.blogspot.com for the group and the bigger movement. For the project with the exclusively Financial Focus, I picked Not on Trees - Where & How Money Grows. To visit, go to NotOnTrees.Blogspot.com.

I am thrilled and excited to have put in motion projects that I have wanted to begin for a long time... and can think of no better time than now to begin.

As you can imagine I'll certainly need all the help I can get to make both of these projects as valuable as I hope and believe they will become, so PLEASE Contact Me and discuss both of these ideas and how we can work on them together, and stay tuned for more information.

The Sword in the Stone

2009-01-02T02:05:00.005-07:00

Allow me to indulge in the telling of a personal story:

The Christmas of my eleventh year my parents bought a van for Christmas (burgundy Ford Econoline with grey velvet seats). As we woke up that morning, they announced Santa had bought us tickets to Disneyland, and off we went... what a great Christmas!

One of those magical days at Disneyland we came upon a large crowd of people and watched as men went through the crowd selecting several strong-looking grown men and leading them up to Merlin the Magician. Each man from the crowd would then attempt to pull King Arthur's Sword from the Stone. (It was an awesome sight for an eleven year old to see!)

After 5 or 6 men had tried and failed to pull out the sword, Merlin announced to the crowd that he knew that it could be pulled out, and that he could sense that somewhere in the crowd was a person worthy to pull the Sword from the Stone. Then Merlin began making his way back and forth through the crowd, pausing in front of different people and looking them in the eye before moving on. To my surprise, the long haired, long bearded Merlin I was watching so intently suddenly stopped when he got to me.

He put his hand on my head and pinched my cheeks, ran his hands through my hair and looked me up and down in a full examination as if to question if I was really the one, and then just as suddenly took me by the hand and pulled me behind him up to the Stone.

I can still picture his face and that long hair. I can still see those round spectacles and picture the crowd looking at me. I can remember them telling me to try to pull that sword out of the stone, and not even knowing what to do... until I finally got it. I was scared, and in shock, and I remember thinking there was no way I could pull that sword out. All those men couldn't even do it.

I can actually remember stepping up and pulling... the sword not moving at first, and then watching as I pulled that Sword out of the Stone! I remember the crowd cheering, and me not even hearing them, or believing my eyes as I looked at the Sword. How did I do that? (I don't think I actually even got it all the way out... it was too long - so they helped me after I pulled it most the way out - and then let me hold it.)

Then it gets fuzzy... but it was incredible. They put a robe on my shoulders and paraded me around... even took the sword and knighted me in front of everyone! I still was just in shock that I had pulled it out.

I am so thankful for that beautiful memory. It is one I will never forget. Thanks Mom & Dad, for taking me to Disneyland! In a way... making kids feel special is what Disneyland - and parents are supposed to do, right?

I still hope I am special - although sometimes I have my doubts. We are all special - and YOU and I can get whatever we want out of life...

I have decided no matter what - I am taking my kids to Disneyland this year.

Pounding Head (A poem by ME)

2008-12-29T22:34:00.003-07:00

Pounding head
Fuzzy light
Bulging eyes
Neck so tight...

Follicles of hair
aching bad
Face muscles
I've never had...

Computer screen
Blinding Brain
Squinting forward
lots of pain...

Late night work
Morning coming
Deadline tomorrow
Constant drumming...

Pounding Head
Lousy Week
Just don't care
Going to sleep.

No Credit For Victory vs. No Blame or Excuse For Defeat

2008-12-29T11:22:00.004-07:00

Allow me to spare those of you who might read this from having to waste time reading a long dissertation about why Blaming and Excuses are a waste. Here is the fact:

BLAMING & EXCUSE MAKING satisfy only those who make the excuses, and rob the excuse makers of the opportunity to learn and progress.

The single most successful businessman and exponential thinker I have ever personally known says regularly, "I will take responsibility for ANY defeat, and NEVER blame or make an excuse... but I will TAKE NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY." (His name is Spencer Hunn, and I WILL give him credit for the quote.)

I intend to focus my blog tonight on the POWER of taking NO CREDIT FOR VICTORY. This topic is sort of similar to not Blaming... but a bit different - it is why you shouldn't "BLAME" yourself when good things happen - but give credit instead to the reasons for your good fortune.

I'm not a "Blame-guy" or an excuse maker. (I'm not talking about giving my wife excuses on why I was late picking my daughter up from school - I am full of those excuses!), but the kind of excuses you give yourself - for not taking a business risk, or blaming the economy for your circumstances or whatever.

I just don't waste time Blaming others and begrudging things when stuff doesn't go my way.

But there is a HUGE weakness I have: I am quick to take credit for victory.

This is not to say that I publicly stand up and tell everyone all the reasons why each time I succeed it is 100% my doing... but inside myself... I am far too quick to give myself credit for victory... and that practice is DANGEROUS. In fact it may be just as dangerous to sustaining success as excuse making or blaming.

Here are some examples:

1. The Real Estate market was SOARING nationally... yet each time Jake completed a profitable transaction, he gave himself credit. (After making a profit on selling a home Jake thought, "I must be one of the smartest people around... this is so easy for me... why doesn't EVERYONE do this?") Jake gave himself far too much credit.

A far more realistic observation might have been, "How fortunate I am to benefit financially from a strong housing market just like EVERYONE else... I am grateful to benefit from good timing. My result is NOT unique. (While those of us who made money in Real Estate might deserve a small amount of credit for capitalizing on an opportunity, the reality is that when the momentum stopped, we were stuck!)

In this case, refusing to allow myself to take credit for a victory might have saved me a lot of losses and heartache.

2. Recently I observed a young man (I'll call him Walter) begin to have modest but quick success in a business venture. In the beginning he made minimal but consistent effort into the business, yet his work quickly multiplied with little effort. Several senior partners in our venture recognized his quick success, and complimented him to give him encouragement. He was awarded with a gold ring for recognition.

Immediately this Walter believed he was the origin of his good fortune in our project. Rather than recognizing the good fortune of his quick success, he took credit, and began to parade his shiny new ring, and believed himself too important to continue his minimal efforts. I believe that Walter was truly talented in the business venture, but gave himself credit too readily... and in little time at all the success that had found him so quickly was gone.

How fortunate for me to be able to observe Walter and his youthful foolishness... because I MYSELF am actually EXACTLY AS FOOLISH... but perhaps only a few years - and missed opportunities wiser.

3. Consider similarly the gambler, who upon entering the Casino promptly wins $1,000 on a hand of Black Jack. However silly it may sound, he truly believes he is "Just Lucky", that somehow, the Casino Gods and statistics do not actually apply to him.

To sum it all up, this type of "TAKING CREDIT FOR VICTORY" is DANGEROUS... because it can rob us of clarity that allows us to reasonably achieve success.

So as one of my New Years Resolutions: Take no credit for victory.

My thanks to Spencer for opening my mind to this important principal and idea: There is power in taking no credit for victory, but instead identifying where the credit really belongs and recognizing it.

Magic Formula Turns Life's Challenges Into Building Blocks

2008-12-29T09:00:00.006-07:00

My last post, Challenges become Blessings, Weaknesses become Strengths is sort of a journal entry about some of the more serious life challenges I have been confronted with in the past several months.

I decided while I slept last night, that there must be more to learn from this topic... there must be a FORMULA that can be gleaned from all of this.

Here is what I came up with:

Identify the Challenge. Spend time REALLY contemplating the Challenge. Is the Challenge simply "Not enough money?" (Everyone I know would claim that challenge - or is "Money" a SYMPTOM of the REAL PROBLEM). It may help to write down the challenges, and then group them if necessary... into Challenges and Symptoms, or groups of challenges. Don't think you can stop at just one! The most difficult challenges come in groups.
Take ownership of the Challenge. Take personal responsibility for it. No room for blaming others or wasting energy on feeling sorry you have to go through it.
Ask empowering questions of Yourself. "What would I need to do in order to make more money even though... (INSERT CHALLENGE HERE)." If this step is going to work, you are going to have to BELIEVE that you CAN overcome the challenge.
Learn from others and ask for help. When mired in the agony of our own challenges this can be the toughest. It is tough to admit to others we are stuck or in need of help... but it is a big world, and there are lots of people who have gone through it before. I would LOVE to expend some of my energy really trying to help someone else untangle a life's challenge! So if you have no else to ask, ASK ME!
Go to work, while you plan. TAKE ACTION. Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs in life come in working, NOT in planning. It is no wonder that the Wright Brothers' very first airplane did not fly... it took dozens of iterations and modifications to finally get one that would work. I have lived this principle if nothing else. My Dad always says that "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, at first".
EVERYTHING serves a purpose toward your goal. If "More Money" is your problem, and the only thing you can come up with is taking a second job delivering Pizza to earn more money - then listen to personal development books on tape while you drive, and resolve to ASK every person you see who has more of what you want than the people you know how they did it. Then take the information you gain, and re-apply it to your challenge.
Repeat. Check out my blog on REPETITION = GREATNESS. The simple fact is that setting Goals regularly and working at them will nearly always lead to a more productive life. Carefully managing ones expenses will surely lead to greater financial freedom, and working at ones Challenges will strengthen a person in nearly every way.

If you had looked at my list several months ago it might have looked something like this:

Step 1. Challenges & Symptoms:
1. Have no money
2. Need to finish building 5 houses
3. Banks refuse to lend money
4. I am not earning any money to pay my bills
5. Homes costing more to build than they will sell for
6. Committed to finish homes, and now I have to find a way to earn a living
7. Investors have all taken a bath in the market
8. Nobody wants to invest in housing
9. Owe the Bank $20,000 per month in interest
10. Some anonymous coward smeared me on a blog
11. Subs don't want to do work for fear of not getting paid
12. Heading into winter
13. Can't afford to employ anyone to help me resolve this mess
14. Everyone I know seems to be blaming me for the problem
15. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I feel like dying!!!

That seems like such a short and simple list compared to all the emotion I felt... but perhaps that is the power of making a list? By creating a list it forces us to consolidate our challenges into concise statements, instead of staying stuck in an emotional quagmire.

Step 2: Personal Responsibility; & Step 3. Ask Empowering Questions:
1. I gotta EARN... "How can I find a way to earn lots of money in a smaller amount of time, and still spend the time I need to deliver on the other promises I have made? (How do I find some "time & money leverage" to create personal income?)
2. Probably can't deliver on all of the promises I have made at once, so I had to prioritize which promises I focus on now, which ones I simply break, and which ones I postpone. (I went to people and gave them the option to wait for me to be ready, to move on without me because I could not deliver at this time, or simply quit altogether. Generally, people appreciated my candor.)
3. I enlisted the help of the banks in ensuring subcontractors that they would get paid for doing the work... this came as a result of asking: Who else wants me to get this work done as much as I do, and would be willing to vouch for what I am doing? The answer was simple - the Bank!
4. What can I do to cut down on the budget, AND ensure the work gets done right, and on time? In order to save money, and get work done, I actually went to work Myself, acting as an assistant to many of the skilled tradesmen on the homes. (My participation in the work allowed the Subs to cut their labor costs, and ensured they would show up to work with me... but there was a HUGE secondary benefit: This created a strong spirit of "teamwork" with some of my Subs, and we all went to work together... sometimes working on things that might normally have been outside of our skill set - like my HVAC guy, my Countertop Guy, and a finish carpenter working side by side with me to do everything from helping the Plumber install toilets and lids to helping the Electrician put cover plates and switches on everything, even down to trash pickup, etc. These subs once enlisted in the cause were even calling their friends and contacts getting them to come help out, and so on! AMAZING!)
5. Stating the challenges AS THEY WERE to my previous equity investors FINALLY helped us draw some "lines in the sand" and move on from a stalemate of "who flinches first". This got some momentum moving forward, and helped us stabilize a deal that should have been resolved back in May.
6. The entire mood of the effort changed... instead of me looking for people to blame, and others following my lead, EVERYONE either checked out completely, or enlisted in the cause... which they could do because they could see and feel that we were on a MISSION!

Step 4 & 5: Learn from others, and TAKE ACTION.
I have eluded already to some of the specific actions that I took, and how sometimes the actions I took yielded a result that was different or better than I intended. In the process there was plenty of calling around and asking what others had done. One specific example of this is a 13 acre piece of ground we had purchased for several million dollars... and was now because of the housing market - worth a fraction of the price we paid. I had read several articles in my favorite Real Estate publication, Builder & Developer Magazine, that encouraged me that more affordable housing was a trend that would stand a chance at survival, and when in a conversation with an officer at my bank he indicated he would support a density change, I immediately took action and began Re-Developing the land we had acquired. Literally we had nearly finished the development as 50 single family lots, but I stopped the construction THAT DAY and began amending the project. We started with increasing the density from 50 to 90, and have proposed versions as high as 225 units... the final unit count is currently around 187... but I definitely learned from others, and took action... and those two concepts have saved the deal.

Step 6: Everything Serves a Purpose Toward the Goal.
I still get bad news every day. An investor withdraws capital or support from a deal, a bank had previously committed to fund payment to subs now has changed its story, new business partners I was excited about opted to go a different direction, or a renter who is helping to cover a mortgage on a home we are carrying loses his job and can't or won't pay rent... all impacting the PLAN. Not too long ago my wife's vehicle was repossessed by the Bank, leaving us with only one car. (This is embarrassing to share, but should help clarify the realities of the situation we are in.) I could have dwelt on the negativity, and seen the glass as half empty... or as half full. The way we both chose to see this was that large SUV's had gone down in value significantly, and that the car was not worth what we were paying on. Now we had a monthly savings of her car payment, the insurance on that vehicle, and other fuel and maintenance costs! Now we had more money to dedicate toward the goals we had... and I have not given it much thought since. (We will surely have to deal with the deficiency and other things, and I completely regret that circumstances have become so dire at times... but all that is left for us to do is keep going!)

Step 7: Repeat.
Now on to new and different challenges! Like "My wife doesn't have a car", LOL! While I am unsure just what these new challenges will be, I am confident that I will face them head on and wind up victorious, because I have done this in the past. And so have you!

Challenges become Blessings, Weaknesses become Strengths

2008-12-28T15:00:00.008-07:00

There can be no doubt that 2008 has been a year of Challenges and Weaknesses.

Generally, weakness in the economy and the failings of companies large and small, and many leadership weaknesses, from myself personally to governmental leadership shortfalls, to bank execs, and more, we are set to jettison the past year with abundant examples of Weakness...

All of this weakness has of course spelled a year of Challenges for all of us. Millions have watched as retirement funds shriveled to record lows. Many of us sheltered by the once warm-and-fuzzy comfort of knowing we had a Home Equity Line of Credit we could tap in a time of need have alarmingly been put on notice that these "Reserves" are frozen by the bank, meaning (say it isn't so!) we are relegated to financing our not-so-awesome Financial Year's Holiday Season with CASH or perhaps nothing at all... We can all agree that Challenges have abounded, and many as a result of Weakness on our own part, or that of others.

How Grateful I am that these two things are inseparably connected!

There is salvation in the connectedness of Weakness and Challenges. Consider the following evolution: Weaknesses become Challenges, which command our Focus & Energy, which in time begets Time & Effort, which creates the Overcoming of Challenges, which leads to Strength and Efficiency.

In fact, I believe that this cycle, when combined with God's inspiration and a spirit of willing work and lack of blaming can be attributed to every major accomplishment Man has ever developed. Consider the following:

Heavy Rock in Field commands a solution, and "Viola" we have the Lever & Wheel. Lever & Wheel are refined and set to work to become Wheel & Axel, which become Wagon and Gears, which become Steam Engine which becomes Locomotives, Cars and so on, and the rest is history... from the Panama Canal to the Empire State Building... and look at all we can do now! (Although I still refuse to shovel my driveway)

Around October this year, I decided that I would complete a home I have been building for 2 years... and complete it before Christmas NO MATTER WHAT. I went to work, and while other important priorities (such as this Blog) may have slipped in the process, I am thrilled to say that on December 19th, 2008... it was FINISHED! FINALLY!!!

My late-year 2008 challenge was to find a way in a lousy economy to finish the house I was building full time, keep pushing forward on many of my other critical Real Estate projects and objectives, continue supporting a fledgling new business I'm working on, and still find a way to provide financially for my family, and have the means to pay for Christmas. While I fully believe that each family has been confronted with their very own "Tall Order" of things to do... this collection of tasks seemed to me to be a nearly insurmountable.

As I attempted to zero-in on a game plan, I really felt that just finishing the house alone could easily require 12 hours per day... in fact every one of these objectives could require a full time effort. I had 4 or 5 projects that would demand my full-time attention, not just one. All I could do was resolve to work on all of them, and give every day my very best... and that is exactly what I did.

Many intriguing truths revealed themselves to me throughout this process. One stand-out is that I had no one to blame for the mess but myself... so I was empowered to take complete and total personal responsibility. (What a blessing!)

I knew that any time spent complaining about or blaming "The economy", "lack of funds" , "being exhausted", or "investors pulling the rug out from underneath me" would in the end, not create the result I had decided I would generate. I simply could not afford to spare one eating or sleeping, much less to blaming... and this sort of singularity of purpose became my sanity in the last 3 months!

Literally, EVERYTHING in my world became one of two things: Either 1) A building block by which I could accomplish my nearly-impossible task, or 2) A hindrance to the very same task.

I found a freedom in calling people and explaining what I was going to accomplish and then in asking them if they could help in the work. I was simply sorting between those who doubted or did not support or believe in my cause, and replacing them as quickly as possible with those who could, or would.

Of course there were times late at night, when I was the only person who could be fully enlisted in the goal, so I would work late into the night, alone just working to complete the goal. Other times, my willingness to do the work myself inspired other to work beyond their usual limits of 5 or 6 o'clock at night to stay later and help me finish.

I have even had several occasions recently when I was in need where I even went back to the naysayers for help, and I was able to extract some help from them as they could see my goal getting closer to reality.

I owe a very special debt of gratitude to my wife, my Parents, Troy, Terry, Gabriel, AJ & Justin, Ron, Jay, Rick, Burt, and Curt for getting on board with my goals over the past couple of months and helping me see these things through!

I am so grateful that in the process of getting more done in a short period of time than I ever thought possible, I feel like even more was accomplished than what was intended. In the process of all of this, not only were my goals accomplished, but I feel I lived what it means to have a Challenge become a Blessing, and Weaknesses become some of my Strengths.

I am so grateful for the direction of God in the process. There have been dozens of specific circumstances where I have felt I was literally led or directed to find the very last box of whatever I needed to finish the house, or say just the right thing to a bank officer to have them hang tough with my group so I could rally my equity team.

Through these small but simple serendipities or coincidences, I find nothing "miraculous" in the accomplishment itself. I truly believe that ANY person could have done the same work - or better in less time. The miraculous part of this experience has been its effect on me.

The reality has been that in my life, all of the Challenges that seemed so insurmountable were not... but I feel stronger and better for having gone through them. The challenges have presented me with the opportunity to confront the weaknesses uniquely mine, and get stronger as a result, and having done both and overcome what was just months ago so daunting, is extremely gratifying... and for me - a little life miracle.

So now I embark upon the New Year with feelings of renewed energy and spirit. I carry feelings of loyalty, gratitude and indebtedness to those who have stood by me through so much adversity and who have worked with me at my tasks as I have worked at theirs. I embark the New Year with continued resolve to improve who I am, and to chase my dreams.

I am appreciative of the opportunity to be a Husband, Father, Brother, Son, Friend, and Person living in this world full of so many Challenges and Blessings!

Easy vs. Simple

2008-10-23T05:40:00.002-06:00

Recent events in my professional life have led me to contemplate the critical distinction between Easy and Simple.

Anyone who is a parent can probably remember a half dozen instances per day in which their kids try to do something the easy way, and they wind up having to go back and do it over again... whether it be math homework done sloppily so the child can fly out the door to play with friends, making a bed by just pulling up the bed spread and leaving the sheets (and sometimes clothes, toys and other stuff) hidden underneath, or the famous jamming of all the toys under the bed or into closets, instead of putting them where they really belong.

Naturally, this EASY and immediate solution gave each of us as children something my Dad used to call Instant Gratification. The problem of course arrived when once we had been discovered, and you got that call at your friends house when the ill fated announcement came from your friend's mother: "Jake - your mom just called... you need to go home."

Weren't those the longest walks across the street? I have to laugh remembering those times... knowing I was done for, and feeling pretty queezy as I opened the front door.

I have had more than my fair share of long walks back across the street, both as a child and as an adult - in my personal life and in business.

There are other types of long walks aren't there?

Remember breaking that special something that your dad had told you a dozen times was NOT a toy? Or getting into trouble because you were goofing off and your brother got hurt, and even though it really was just an accident, you are going to have to face the music?

We all have to face the music... and on the surface it is never EASY, right? Maybe...

I hope that this post is as much or MORE for me than any reader... but it seems to me that some lessons we can glean from a lifelong worth of evidence is that most of the time, the EASY WAY is pretty hard in the long run... and that really, the RIGHT way might require more work, but is usually SIMPLE.

Simply clean your room like your parents asked you to, and do it right - and be done. SIMPLE.

OR

Jam your clothes, toys, books and junk under your bed or in closets and drawers... leave the house 15 minutes sooner... pretty EASY... until you get called home in 30 minutes and have to start over, and now you can't play anymore. HARD.

In my own real estate dealings, I have certainly been guilty of the same faults.

In 2003 to 2007 it was EASY to gather "investors" together who could use their credit and little or no money to build homes on spec. Many of these investors were requesting to do 2, 3 or 5 homes at a time.

I had long lines of people ready, willing, and anxious to participate in building homes we could sell and split profits. At the time, we imposed what I allowed myself to believe were "standards" of integrity. (Only 1 owner occupied home at a time for our building clients, requiring clients to review and sign all bank draws, all checks from banks cut directly to subs instead of to our company, blah, blah, blah.)

Growth as a home builder in Utah was EASY. We promptly grew from a few homes per year (built with an artistic eye and a personal passion of my own for quality and stylistic consistency) to 20 to 30 homes going all the time.

Allow me to point out for the sake of the soap box that I was working very hard through all of this... at no point was my job EASY, it was hard work! But, today... with the benefit of perspective it was hard work that came too EASY. Too few of our homes had committed buyers. Too many of the Realtors we employed were similarly addicted to the EASY way (stick a sign in the yard and wait for the paycheck).

In the end, Wallstreet has told the tale of the result of EASY STREET.

The story does NOT end with Wallstreet.

The story ends when my son stops pulling his bedspread over his sheets instead of really making his bed. It ends when he musters up the courage to tell me he got carried away and scribbled crayon all over his sisters wall.

For me the story ends when I look at myself and decide to do things RIGHT and SIMPLE, and stop looking for EASY.

EASY today is "Blame the Economy", "Blame the Builder", "Blame the Banks", or "Blame Everybody". I have lived the story of the current economy first hand. It is very EASY to get lots of sympathy in the current market.

I have personally witnessed countless stories of grown men and women tell about all of their business knowledge and experience, and how much knowledge they have about Real Estate, economy, and investing... and 1 year later, these same people blame their Builder (in some cases me), the Realtor, the Appraiser, the Bank, the subs, everybody. It is so EASY to blame... but so hard to learn real lessons.

By no means is it SIMPLE or EASY to take responsibility when the ship is taking on water, headed into a storm, and the crew is bailing... but I have found peace in RESPONSIBLE.

Your feedback is welcomed.

This post would not be complete if I did express gratitude to & honor several individuals who, despite terribly frustrating and life altering circumstances brought to pass by the events described above, whether as home owners or speculative investors maintained professionalism and set an example for me of taking personal responsibility: D.&C. B., D.&M. M., C.&K. F., B.B., D.B., J.H., B.G., K.&A. K., M.&S. R., S.&C. T., M.&B. D., J.&A. A., R.A., R.&L. J., D.H., B.H., R.H., K.C., B.&B. B., R.H., and others.

I want you all to know that I wake up everyday and go to work, doing my best to be my best, and some of the best experiences I have had have been your quiet votes of confidence, well wishes, forgiveness and understanding. I wish it had gone differently for all of us.

My truest wish for all of us, for myself and my children is that we can seek and find happiness, and never stop learning or getting better. Keep life simple - but not EVER settle for going the EASY WAY.

Working Hard or Hardly Working...

2008-10-08T22:01:00.002-06:00

Doesn't everybody gets caught in the trap called life?

One minute you are 18, graduating high school, celebrating the world that is your acorn, and being celebrated by parents, grandparents and loved ones... then you wake up one day 12 years later (like I did today) and you wonder if anything you do matters.

So Amanda and I are working hard to push for a big check this month... and we have rented the house and are moving by the end of the month into our new house. I am so excited I can't sleep, and it can't happen fast enough. Home Depot has been my number 1 destination (a minimum of 2 times daily for the last week) and I am only about 50% of the way done with Home Depot.

("Excuse me sir, did you know you can save up to 10% on your purchase today by opening a Home Depot account?")

The fascinating observation for the week, is that early in the week I set some specific goals for my business that will require some emotional risks and a small risk of failure... accomplishing these goals is the true WORK that I need to accomplish right NOW.

I have now procrastinated this REAL work, in favor of a lot of other work. Work on the new house, work on consulting others on their business, work in several other capacities. I have been working so hard that I am physically and mentally exhausted, yet the very work I MUST do - which would require far less exertion, and likely yield far greater results is postponed until the last minute.

Over the weekend, I listened to a speech by a great man named Thomas Monson. He has led an incredible life. He cautioned, "Pile up enough 'Tomorrow's' and you'll wind up with nothing but 'Empty Yesterday's'".

I worry I have been bumped out of the groove. So tomorrow I will do the stuff I have been putting off and keep chasing the dream!

The Importance of Learning Something From Everyone

2008-10-01T21:49:00.006-06:00

It has been said that "A wise man learns from his mistakes".

Naturally a wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.

There is however a more important concept than looking at the mistakes of others, and learning what NOT to do. The greater truth is that if we are hungry to learn we just might be able to learn What To Do which, if we can discipline ourselves trumps learning What Not To Do.

I think that there is a quote that basically says "In life, you will get results comparable to the people you surround yourself with". (That is a lousy attempt at the quote, so if someone finds the quote, please let me know! I did look for the quote, but after 30 minutes of searching for it unsuccessfully, I got distracted and suckered into taking an online IQ test - that then required me to subscribe $20 per month just to get my test score - which I did'nt pay - and all I proved is that I don't have a quote, and that my IQ must be pretty pathetic.)

Another similar quote: "It is not WHAT you know but WHO you know." Perhaps this blog may demonstrate that it is not solely who you know, but also WHO WE LEARN FROM.

Think about it. Suppose you grow up surrounded by gang members & drug dealers. Statistically it is highly likely you will become one, and either serve time, get shot, or something bad will happen. Conversely, suppose you grow up going to a private school where everyone graduates high school and gets a 4 year degree in college. Statistically you would be highly likely to achieve the same outcome.

Naturally there are remarkable stories of individuals who, despite their own life's circumstances and upbringing, defy the odds and go on to achieve greatness. We could look at hundreds of examples... from Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Buffet, all the way to Daddy Warbucks (You know... the self-made millionaire, whose shaven head and affection for the curly red-headed orphan Annie proved to all of us how great he was!)

I am confident however that in each such remarkable story, there was a desire to LEARN and grow... and that an extensive interview with such remarkable individuals would demonstrate that they learned critical lessons from their humble beginnings, and also went about their lives seeking additional learning opportunities from others.

Wasn't Albert Einstein the first guy to say, "I know that I don't know". Being aware of our own lack of knowledge is one part of an important equation to growth, but a desire to learn from others is a second, probably more important one.

Nothing can be as frustrating as being surrounded by those that believe they know everything. My brother Dave does a "bit" about a guy who knows everything - even before you tell him. Surely we have all experienced a such a conversation. It is remarkable to realize how stuck these individuals are. (Maybe some to some that know me better, I am just such an individual... I hope not!)

Allow me to present a formula that I have found to be valuable in learning from others:

WATCH & LISTEN. Allow myself to observe what is taking place.
THINK. Sounds like a novel concept, right? Consider the perspective of the individuals I am observing. (Include Myself)
ASK QUESTIONS. This may include literally asking the other person "Why did you do that?" or "What is it you would like me to understand from your request?". Asking question may also come later in introspection... "How did that person know to do ___________?" or "How did that person react when _________" and so on...
CONCLUDE & TAKE ACTION. Sometimes learning can be a guessing game, but take the lesson the best you can understand it, and put it into action. Taking Action includes things like writing it down, talking with someone about the thing you learned or observed, setting a goal to duplicate a pattern, or deciding to manage your time better, etc.
PRACTICE. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, at first... and worth doing well after practicing.

In many ways, the very blog you are reading is just that... perhaps the only value being rendered is to me, the author... but it is valuable to me. I find myself not only putting many principles I write about into action, but am constantly on the lookout for things I can learn and write about.

Imagine that if you put this principle to use, what a collection you would have after some practice.

What I learned from my Mom: Don't be afraid of who you are, because everyone else might be... LOL! I can talk to any one at any time about anything, and I never have to be afraid.
What I learned from my Dad: No matter how bad things get, it won't last. No matter how good things get, it won't last. Don't quit. Tell the truth. Work hard. Put your family first.
What I learned from Jarvis Webb: People do what benefits them, first.
What I learned from Brandon Osborne: Don't let anybody push you around. Who cares if you get beat... you will command respect and respect yourself if you stand up.
What I learned from Jimmy Dunn & Family: What true friendship is. How to love people, no matter what. How to see the best in everyone we meet. I learned that I was worth loving.
What I learned from Matt Kennedy: How to talk to women. How to find humor in everything.
What I learned from Ed Scholz: Just do what I am supposed to do, and who cares about everybody else. Everybody is imperfect, even the ones who think they are perfect. I learned what I hope Heavenly Father is like.
What I learned from Louis Scholz: Don't get myself dirty, or I will regret it. Stay clean.
What I learned from Daron: You can never do a good deal with a bad guy.
What I learned from Dan, Jay, Dave & Marion, Kenny & Amber, others: Forgiveness & Mercy.
What I learned from Cameron Foster: Believe in people. Believe in who they are. It helps them be their best.
What I learned from Bryan Miller: I had to learn true friendship again. It doesn't matter where you come from, what matters is where you are going. You can accomplish a lot, with very little effort simply be deciding to do it.
What I learned from Bryce Blanchard: Be the best at what you do, The Best. Every positive has a negative, and every negative has a positive... and you have to see both before you are even in the game. Hold your cards, aka keep your mouth shut. Negotiating.
What I learned from Spencer Hunn: Never stop believing in what you do. Be a good person. Never stop doing what you do best.
What I learned from My Wife: Love. Patience. Service. Charity. Laughter is the most beautiful sound on earth. Don't do dumb things to distance myself from the people I love, or I will feel lousy about it. Not every problem has to be solved on my schedule. I have a very long way to go!
What I learned from My Children: There is a God, and he loves each of us... personally and individually. No one is forgotten.

I could go on forever, and so could you. Now: Let's PRACTICE!

Please write me and let me know a lesson you have learned from someone, that pops into your mind... or anything else. Make your own list.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling

2008-10-01T21:39:00.003-06:00

Allow me to credit Bryan Miller for first introducing me to this poem. It has given me a lot.

There are many parts of this poem that could be discussed... but as a piece of art, I'll leave it with you and let it stand alone. I encourage you to read it often and give yourself time to contemplate it and let it inspire you into action!

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

The Most Incredible Love Story Ever Written - OR Never Written!

2008-09-30T15:26:00.008-06:00

Wow... What a trip!

Took a day and went to a training conference in Modesto, California yesterday.

This jam-packed, no-seats-available, Sunday evening flight to Oakland was not something to look forward to. I wound up finding my seat next to 2 sisters - and the conversation that ensued was one for the ages.

Lemme give a shout out first to Elenore "Ellie" the Barbara Streisand lookalike, and her sister Lisa... a beaming romantic still in love with her High School boyfriend.

We started with some banter about the books we were reading, and it went from there... HANG WITH ME, because I can't tie this to greatness for a minute.

The two were obviously sisters. They had a similar happy smile (In fact they told me, "we have the same smile"). Each had a different father, and had been in Salt Lake City visiting their mother. A sense of kinship and connectedness between the two and their mother (now married for the 3rd time), and a quiet tone of acceptance was pervasive throughout our 2-hour flight.

On the surface, the 2 sisters were friendly and sweet. None eluded to a life's accomplishment worthy of boasting. Both are mothers of 2 or more children, as was their Mom. Both work. Both love their children dearly. As our exchange meandered from family, to kids, to marriage, to background, I was privileged to hear more in-depth information about their stories.

The story of first sister's father... and being raised primarily by her mothers next husband - and father to the second sister. The story of the second father, and his abrupt departure from the United States to live in Thailand (or somewhere) when the second sister was still young, and the older sister had moved out of the house. The story of their mother finding love, and moving to Utah (of all places).

Ellie told stories of her life, and her 3 children. The story of an incredible adventure with a past boyfriend - how they met on an airplane, and later how they flew to Hawaii, hitchhiked to a remote trail head, hiked 14 miles, camped in caves, and got a ride home on high seas with drunken fisherman - all with not much more to eat than dry bagels and some canned chili. (She quite literally described scooping the chili from the can with the dry bagels... great story!) She told other stories.

Lisa talked with a smile about her husband of 20 years, who was her high school boyfriend, and her 2 children. She expressed what could be interpreted as a longing to see her family more often, and not seeing family as often as she felt she should. She seemed excited to share (and I was truly in disbelief that she will soon become a grandmother to her oldest daughters first child.

It was nice to get a chance to express my own affections for my wife and children and share a few personal tidbits as well.

These stories that came out in our conversation seemed like stories that need to be written. They were GREAT STORIES to me... because for these two women and their mother, they are the most important stories that will ever be told. But the most important part now, reflecting on the stories - were the love stories.

I have spent a day contemplating what was the most important part of their story, and realized it was the love story they were each writing...

As I reflected, I thought about the movie THE NOTEBOOK. When you watch the story portrayed in "The Notebook" it seems so incredible on the silver screen... but I submit that it is a common story. So common in fact that it is almost not newsworthy. It is a story about a boy who falls in love with a girl, and never gives up on that love he feels for her.

What is incredible about "The Notebook" is that it is a story that is TOLD.

In just a couple of hours, we as an audience are allowed to see the stories highs and lows, observe the depth of the struggles and triumphs, feel the power of the resolve to stay together, and watch the couple grow old.

Every couple struggles through real life. We all feel the moments of passion, anger, defeat, and loneliness... we just don't have the benefit of being able to watch the outcome in 2 hours.

This is what makes MY love story The Most Incredible Love Story Ever NOT WRITTEN.

I know the depths of sorrow I have felt, and caused my wife to feel. I know how incredible it is to see her laugh & smile, and how bad it feels when we go a week or two without connecting at all. She has (not me) been the most loyal, forgiving and committed wife ever. I know how much fun it has been, and all of the work it has required just to get to where we are - and our story is just in the first couple of chapters!

Can we be honest with each other for a moment?

I am not a great author when it comes to writing. You and I both know it.

But my quest is not to "be a guy who can write good and stuff", but to AUTHOR a life that is worthy of being written about.

The GREATEST achievement I could accomplish, would be in 20 more years to have my wife feel about me as Lisa & Ellie seemed to about their husbands.

Now who knows - maybe their love story is over, and I am just imagining something here... I hope not.

My parents have a love story that has been more than 33 years in the writing, and I assure you that it would not fail to entertain if condensed into a movie. More importantly, I believe that for each of my six brothers and two sisters and I, the love story will prove to be NEXT TO OUR OWN, one of the most incredible love stories ever written... and maybe someday one of us will decide to write it.

Seen in the proper perspective, perhaps there is NO GREATER ACCOMPLISHMENT than becoming the successful author of our own life's love story?

Here's to hoping that you & I live to see OUR LOVE STORY become the Greatest, Most Incredible Love Story Ever Written - Or Not Written.

Through the Forbidden Valley, Over the Perilous Pass, Around the Swamp of Solitude, and Into the Belly of the BEAST!!!

2008-09-26T14:53:00.003-06:00

Every great story of an incredible journey must have adversity, Right?

So if you ever find yourself stuck where I am - up to my eyeballs in adversity, I guess you just remind yourself about that.

Frodo Baggins kept on walking. Despite all odds, that little fuzzy-footed foot soldier would not quit. He put one foot in front of the other all the way to Mordor. (Spelling of Tolkien names is not under warranty)

Yesterday, I finally finished a critical task I had been working on for 3 months. As a result, I was going to be able to free up a little bit of money from a bank to pass on to subcontractors to whom I owe an unbearable amount of money. Bear in mind, I was far from done, but my whole heart had sort of brightened at the idea of being able to give some people something.

I don't care to bore with too much detail, but the funds were Frozen. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Upon hearing the news, I was off to the races. Calls from my cell phone were flying to the bank, my attorney, subs who I had written checks, my wife to tell her I was not on the way home to spend time with my children after all...

Disaster had struck.

What do you do when the one thread of hope you have been hanging on to for the last 3 months is clipped as casually as my 3-year old daughter knocking over a glass of newly poured milk? I guess you just stand there in disbelief.

That is in fact what I did yesterday. Stood there as if looking down on the milk - now dripping from the counter onto her clothes, seat, and the floor - and feel sorry for myself.

Where was Staples with their fricking "Easy Button" now?

So not by choice, I'm forced to take a night to think about it... What does all of this mean?

From the $700 Billion bailout in Washington D.C. to the loans that I got and maybe shouldn't have, to the loans I helped other people get who are now living the same mess as me, to the subcontractors who did the work and can't pay the suppliers, to the suppliers who can't repay loans to the banks for the losses, and all of our employees we've let go who now can't find work or pay their mortgages, just like I can't pay my mortgage...

Back when money was more abundant in my life, and my ego abounded (not necessarily a happier time, just a time when I was more stymied by illusions of success due to my own skill as a business man, and the resulting imbalance in life's priorities), I used to think the legacy I would leave behind to my children was that they could do anything they dreamed of.

My children would sit captivated as I told them stories of slaying mighty "mean Dragons" while I rode triumphantly on my "nice Dragon" who brought me my sword. I think for about a week, they were pretty convinced Dragons were really real.

I wanted to start a little thing called "Dragons Live". An organization, charity, foundation... or maybe just a children's book - but something dedicated to letting kids know that they can make their very own dreams come true.

Needless to say - that has not gone very far. (nowhere)

What has happened is that I have achieved a quiet confidence knowing that I, like Frodo - can keep going.

I will be forced to - in my own realm, "go through the Forbidden Valley, over the Poisonous Pass, around the Swamp of Solitude, and Into the Belly of the BEAST, just as Frodo was.

Just as my parents were - and are. Just as whoever is reading this blog must do.

I imagine that these desperate times, when we can't make it any farther, and the last strand of hope has been cut - are some of the times that Jesus Christ experienced on our behalf in his Atonement in Gethsemane.

He too, had a path to walk that could be walked by none other. He went as far as He could go on His own, and then was broken.

Even then, He placed one foot in front of the other as He faced Pilate, then Herod, then Pilate again. He even climbed Calvary with the help of the man who carried His cross.

By no means am I a martyr as He was, and by no means holy.

I hoped to gain a profit, and gain wealth and worldly accolades. For the record, I tried my best to do it the right way - but in the end, I too have been broken.

So what incredible adventure in life would be so without a breaking point?

I guess this is the essence of this blog, for me. Climbing Everest for Sir Edmund Hillary was no meager accomplishment. Only HE could do it for himself. As it is with a Marathon (I suppose, mine comes next year).

While hundreds of people have climbed Everest, and hundreds of thousands complete marathons and other remarkable feats of strength and endurance each year... it is the accomplishment of each individual for themselves that is miraculous.

To finish any such task a goal must be set, and one foot placed in front of the next in succession until the task is finished. I suspect that in the process - each person must push past the barriers that would hold them back, like the Swamp, or the Valley, or the "Belly of the Beast".

Relative to my own life's calamity: I will wake up tomorrow. Get dressed. Skip the bowl of cereal as I almost always do. Kiss my kids & wife, and keep trying.

I hope that you will join me!

P.S. FUNNY SCARY DOOR LINK COMING SOON WHEN I FIND IT

Amerigo Vespucci vs. Christopher Columbus

2008-09-22T08:28:00.007-06:00

Waking up early doesn't happen enough... but when it does I try and let it lead me.

One of the friends that has been a true inspiration to me is Bryan. When we met we shared a cynical disdain for accepting life for what it gives us. Both of us seemed to be searching for some answers to life's most important questions:

1. Who am I?
2. Who is God, really and where do I stand with him?
3. What am I going to do when I grow up?

Bryan has been an inspiration because he has pursued the answers with seemingly greater commitment than I. (Grant me an 8 month offset for a financial meltdown, and he is still ahead in the race.)

I'll blog another time about the importance of surrounding ourselves with people that will make us better... this whole intro is actually intended to lead into my topic: Amerigo Vespucci vs. Christopher Columbus.

It all started when Bryan created a list of 17 goals he would accomplish. There is no question in my mind that he will accomplish all of them. One night at the gym he recited all 17 goals to me, and I was (as I often am by my friends) inspired once again.

It is far from my place to list HIS goals, but since I have adopted a handful of them as my own, I will name 3 of the goals I adopted.

1. To walk 50 miles in 20 hours or less.
2. To complete the Mongol Rally.
3. To run a full Marathon.

Each of these goals deserves a Blog all its own.

I am very proud to say that #1 (Walk 50 miles in 1 day) is DONE! That is right, I was a participant with Bryan, Mya, Ken, Heather, Cherie, Phil, Jason & Charlie in the first ever PROTOSA. This blog may be the first ever public online record of the event which was founded by Bryan Miller.

We walked 50 Miles (actual mileage probably more like 52+/-) from the Provo Temple, to the Salt Lake Temple. I will blog about this later, but it was an incredible and unforgettable life experience. I can not wait to do it again next year.

#2 on the list of goals adopted from Bryan is the Mongol Rally.

A quick overview of the rally: Participants drive (for charity) from London to Mongolia in a car with no greater than a 1 Liter engine, and have an adventure of a lifetime along the way. Visit the website and read about it!

Excitement to participate in this event is an understatement. Thoughts of the Mongol Rally have flooded my subconscious for several weeks. I have spent more than an hour on multiple occasions visiting Google and looking over different routes that might be selected. Thoughts about the vehicles we will drive, what might happen, countries to visit, I've even pictured myself coming home to my wife and kids... all kinds of things.

In the course of contemplating, discussing and planning these seemingly ostentatious and would-be self centered undertakings Bryan discovered another incredible adventure, called LONG WAY ROUND.

Ewan McGregor and 3 Friends simply decided to ride their motorcycles nearly around the world, and document the trip. They travel from London across Europe into Asia across Russia, driving North and literally crossing from Russia to Alaska. They finish by driving from Alaska through Canada, the U.S. and finally end in New York City. INCREDIBLE

This has awakened my mind to ideas I have not had since I was learning about Christopher Columbus and Amerigo Vespucci in the 8th Grade.

So when I woke up early, I had dreamed of a route around the world that I would drive. I would play COPY CAT cat to Ewan McGregor and his pals, and plot a route all my own. I dreamed of Amerigo Vespucci and Christopher Columbus.

Consider these thought for a moment: Christopher Columbus was the first, and greatest explorer. He risked all. He discovered the New World.

So what about the rest of the explorers, like Amerigo Vespucci? Were they not just COPY CATS themselves? Once the New World was discovered, what else was there but to copy? Did'nt these explorers literally attempt to copy Columbus?

Haven't I, literally done nothing more than copy Bryan for his goals?

So this pondering sets the stage for where my brain was at when I fell asleep.

Upon waking I had dreamed about my route around the world. I had dreamed of Columbus & Amerigo Vespucci. So I woke up and googled Vespucci and found the following article. What a fun and interesting article about how How America Got It's Name. I encourage you to read it when you have time:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/02/magazine/02wwln-lede-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

So now that I have had a day to reflect on these thoughts, and how they may (or may not) relate to my quest to become great, please allow me to conclude:

Great men often mimic, even copy the great actions of other great men.

This "Copy Cat" behavior may seem at first to be less than inspiring to the sideline observer... but contemplated it. Did Abraham Lincoln not read and study the works of George Washington? Can we suppose that Michael Jordan did not aspire to some day reach the level of Dr. J, and some of the other Greats? How many incredible parents have become so because they were emulating their own parents or grandparents... etc.

I don't believe that it is a venture outside the realm of probability to say that Columbus himself aspired to be like some other great hero sailor/explorer of his time.

So in my quest to climb this everest... I will try to be like Bryan. I'll even take some of his goals as my very own. In the end if we walk 50 miles together, it is an accomplishment that still required me to put one foot in front of the other until I had finished, as it did him.

I will gladly work someone else's idea, and try to improve upon it for my own. I will seek knowledge and understanding from the teachings and lessons of other teachers, and simultaneously attempt to share what I am learning in my own way with others...

These actions alone surely do not GREATNESS make - but they probably don't hurt our chances either.

After all - consider Vespucci's outcome:

Christopher Columbus has now and will always have international renown. Every school child makes the little Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria out of construction paper. Every person in America can recite "in fourteen hundred and ninety two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue" and so on. I've always been inspired by Columbus. He is celebrated all over the world. Each year Columbus has his very own day, and we revere him.

But for Vespucci you have to admit - having a little continent named America be named after YOU is a pretty remarkable accomplishment.

P.S. If anyone knows the name of the very first explorer to sail all the way around the world, please let me know.

Nasal vs. Life Congestion

2008-09-21T12:51:00.005-06:00

Woke up with nasal passages so clogged it was like someone had poured concrete through a tube into my nose. This is not the normal clogging we are talking about - this is ear popping mind numbing clogged nasal that is so severe, I found upon waking I had spent the last 3 or 4 hours breathing through my mouth, and my now Sahara-dry tongue had shriveled into a stale pink piece of ABC Gum... (already been chewed).

Aaahhh... Sunday at last.

Not only has my face/head/nose been congested. My brain is congested as well... so after convincing myself that missing church would be acceptable under the circumstances, I go to work reading another chapter in The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clayson.

Pretty incredible book if you want to live life as a free man not a slave. I read the chapter called "The Camel Trader of Babylon".

This chapter is a short story of a man who began his adult life getting married, earning a decent living - but living beyond his means. Soon his debt is a suffocating noose around his neck. (Sounds very familiar!)

After his debts become unbearable he dispatches his wife to live with her parents, and flees the city. After several attempts at different career options (a merchant, a bandit, etc.) his life spirals further downward he is taken captive. Next the good part: He is sold as a slave and nearly castrated into a eunuch. (This simply must be mentioned, because in the next 10 years I find it unlikely that I will ever have the opportunity again to write in context about a eunuch... how terrifying and hilarious! We should all set a goal to use the word eunuch at least once this week in conversation. Eunuch... LOL!)

His life takes a turn for the better when his master - the woman he serves spares him his castration, and asks some important questions:

"If a man has in himself the soul of a slave will he not become one no matter what his birth, even as water seeks its level? If a man has within him the soul of a free man, will he not become respected and honored in his own city in spite of his misfortune?"

Later after a proving period she asks directly, "Dabasir, hast thou the soul of a free man or the soul of a slave?"

As I read this story today a conviction grew within me once again to be a free man... to REPAY my debts, no matter how long it takes.

There are some very incredible inferences here... but please forgive me if my enthusiasm is over-zealous: did Dabasir have the "balls" to do what needed to be done? Let your imagination run wild with jokes after this story.

Not to get the cart before the horse here. Because the blog is brand new - I don't believe I have even mentioned anything about my debts... but with the collapse of the Real Estate market comes a failure of my business, and some pretty significant debt. It has been pretty darn "emasculating", and my ego has undergone several subsequent rounds of circumcision.

Just reading this story inspired me that this debt must be repaid - albeit eventually, if I am to be FREE. The chapter closes with the lesson: "WHERE DETERMINATION IS, THE WAY CAN BE FOUND"

I have the determination... now it must be done... creating for myself a new goal. REPAY ALL MY DEBT.

Next, I went out to the web and tried to find a picture of the book to post on my blog, and found a pretty awesome website instead:

http://www.thesimpledollar.com

The site is by who seems to be a very down to earth individual named Trent Hamm. The site is very worth a visit and some study. Remarkably his story is not unlike my own. His blog states that he went through a financial meltdown in 2006 and has since documented it very well, and the tools and knowledge he has since acquired to climb back to the top of his Everest.

I congratulate Mr. Hamm on his accomplishments, and thank him for his inspiration.

In conclusion: My nose is congested. My life is congested. I want to live and breath freely. I am convinced there are many more resources available to me for my life than there are my nose.

The difference is that with my nose, I can simply take a pill, and wait. With my life, I must be willing to stick to a plan for longer than a pill. I must act... read, study, implement.

Should I go back and beat the drum that consistency = greatness?

The bad news is that no matter what I do today, it looks like my Sunday will be spent with Nasal Congestion.

Fear of Cheese

2008-09-20T08:40:00.003-06:00

Okay... so 3 days into this, the predominant fear inside myself is that this blog is way too cheesy to actually pull off.

I can hear the cynics now: "Climbing Everest... this guy is a self absorbed bastard who is so completely unaware of his own mundane mediocrity he actually believes he is trying to be great, LOL!"

As I read the blog... and schedule my Saturday I truly fear they might be right.

SATURDAY TO DO LIST
1. Get kids cereal. (Only after being told to do so by Amanda)
2. Drive to Orem, Utah to pick out carpet for the new house.
3. Do a meeting for ACN at 11:00 AM. (ACN is a Network Marketing company I belong to.)
4. Clean up my yard for the home I am building.
5. Go home & watch movies
6. Set up my fantasy football teams for tomorrow.

It is now 8:46 AM, and already the day has its disappointments.
1. I got mad at my oldest daughter (and was rude to her) for standing on my foot.
2. Since I was rude to her, have been grumbling around the house in a bad mood, warning everybody to stay out of my way.
3. Subscribed as the first and only follower to my very own CHEESY blog.
4. Am seriously considering calling people, and asking them to subscribe so I feel less cheesy about it. (I won't do it. I won't, I won't, I won't)

Repetition = Greatness???

2008-09-19T12:17:00.002-06:00

Greatness = Repetition?

So... the first thing to say about being great is that there are a lot of different iterations of this word.

Observation #1: There can be no true achievement of GREATNESS without REPETITION.

We have all heard the saying that "Every dog has his day" or "Every squirrel finds an acorn". There have been comical stories aplenty about the guy who got up to bat in the Major Leagues one time, and got a hit... his lifetime career average is 1.000! Clearly, that does not compare to the true greats who manage .333 and send our nostalgic fathers into tears at the mention of their names. (My dad loves Mickey Mantle... and can't talk about him very much without really being in awe of just how great he was... and he does actually choke up sometimes!)

So my thoughts on Repetition: It is the most difficult thing anyone will ever do.

In the books of sacred writ... "Enduring to the End" is the part that seams toughest. I have my heroes when it comes to repetition... Amanda; Mike, Barb, & Jimmy; Trent; My Dad; My Father-In-Law.

My wife speaks in such admiration of her Dad when she recounts that almost every morning she can remember growing up, he was awake before her, and studying the scriptures. The same can be said of some of my best friends... and my Mom.

So far, I have been more of the "VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE" kind of guy. I put my car keys in a different spot every day when I come home - and change my clothes in a different room in the house - and without even thinking about it.

So a few weeks ago a man I respect tremendously made a comment about the Book: THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON" by George S. Clayton. My respect for Bryce is such that him mentioning the book made me go buy it. I will talk about it for the rest of my life, because it is a great book.

In that book, Arkad is the Richest Man in Babylon. Some of his friends question him on how he achieved it... and one commented that he simply had "strong will power". Humor me, and allow me to quote a paragraph from the book:

"Willpower!" retorted Arkad. "What nonsense. Do you think willpower gives man the strength to lift a burden the camel cannot carry, or to draw a load the oxen cannot budge? Will power is but the unflinching purpose to carry a task you set for yourself to fulfillment. If I set for myself a task, be it ever so trifling, I shall see it through. How else shall I have confidence in myself to do important things? Should I say to myself, 'For a hundred days as I walk across the bridge into the city, I will pick from the road a pebble and cast it into the stream,' I would do it. If on the seventh day I passed by without remembering, I would not say to myself, 'tomorrow I will cast two pebbles which will do as well.' Instead, I would retrace my steps and cast the pebble. Nor on the twentieth day would I say to myself, 'Arkad, this is useless. What does it avail you to cast a pebble every day? Throw in a handful and be done with it.' No, i would not say that nor do it. When I set a task for myself, I complete it. Therefor, I am careful not to start difficult and impractical tasks, because I love leisure."

This paragraph inspired me with insight about greatness... in fact much of the inspiration to do this blog came from reading the book, and discussions with my friend Bryan.

So... time will tell. Do I have the fortitude Arkad speaks of to complete a task, once set for myself?

My goal is to post on this blog regularly... several times per week, and report on my progress.

Hopefully in the coming weeks the stage will be set for me to do more specific reporting about what is happening, not just the psudo-inspirational B.S. that I come up with to get the Blog going.

We shall see...

Intro to Nano Economics... er, My Blog

2008-09-18T10:19:00.000-06:00

So... this is my blog.

More than 1 year ago I was sitting in a beautiful 2500 square-foot condo overlooking the Marina in Cabo San Lucas with my wife and (at the time) 3 children.

I was checking emails when it became evident something was very wrong. The Real Estate market was crashing, and I knew instantly my life would never be the same.

There are moments in your life you simply don't forget - the birth of a child, your wedding day, getting bit by a shark (if applicable) - and this is one that will stay with me. I can still feel the cold air of the air conditioned hotel room. I can picture the blinding sun outside, and the feelings of panic and helplessness sitting there in the room reading those emails.

Since then, a lot has gone on.

I was active in the Real Estate market, and had a dozen investors at the time... I have lived the "Credit Crunch" and Mortgage Crisis as first hand as anyone.

I have come to feel a sincere gratitude for the opportunity to watch this MELTDOWN first hand.

Life has tossed me its share of curveballs and sliders on the inside corner. The result is that I am better.

I am starting this blog to recount some of the crazy stories that went on, and still happen from time to time. I am excited to chronicle my life.

Don't you want to be GREAT, not just good? Haven't you ever wanted to climb Everest or win the Boston Marathon, instead of climb the stairs or do 15 minutes on the treadmill on the 5.5 setting while you watch some skanky music video at the gym you only attend once per month?

I want to be great... so read about my quest!

Please be a part of it!